Miscellaneous: City kids

City kids

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 08:00 - United States - North Pole

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 306

You deserved it 25 354

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Same thing different taste

By fmlpgh - 16/02/2010 11:51 - United States

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 569

You deserved it 2 713

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 314

You deserved it 5 136

By Wtf - 03/11/2015 22:06

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 750

You deserved it 3 512

By our kids will be derps - 22/06/2013 19:28 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 483

You deserved it 6 948

By feckingnasty - 26/01/2018 19:00

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 651

You deserved it 463

The good old days

By WOWreally - 25/09/2009 06:24 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 044

You deserved it 12 113

By Random737193 - 07/05/2015 19:52 - United States - Haddonfield

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 190

You deserved it 3 010

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 372

You deserved it 3 576

By Maggie - 18/03/2013 19:38 - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 620

You deserved it 3 509

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 603

You deserved it 5 196

day624 14

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:02

Aw nuts! Thats something i would do! Laugh it off thats a funny moment!

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:06

Were they near the Neanderthal Mountain Dew cans and the Paleolithic condoms?

Comments

day624 14

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:02

Aw nuts! Thats something i would do! Laugh it off thats a funny moment!

astoryofroses 9

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:06

it's not so bad! everyone has their moments :)

day624 14

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:07

Exactly! And ive had plenty!

simmer333 0

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:20

I see what you did there.

doctorhook86 24

Tuesday 17 July 2012 23:29

OP may want to look into getting new glasses.

PaulB123 11

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:03

So delicious. On the other hand, he likely thinks you're pretty nutty!

Insane_Tea 15

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:10

Cue the slew of nuts jokes.

isaiaah 6

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:13

*fake clap* great joke, truly amusing. Not.

PaulB123 11

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:16

Oh isaiaah please enlighten me and teach me your ingenious ways! Ah yes, comment 18 ... That is just a superb comment, truly inspiring. If only I could be more like you!

livihope 4

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:31

"not" or "nut"?

airforce987 20

Tuesday 17 July 2012 18:18

*Borat voice* My shirt is black not?

JFAW 6

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:03

At least it was only your husband. :)

JFurr 9

Tuesday 17 July 2012 17:10

I agree. If she married the guy, she should be able to laugh at herself in front of this. This seems like something that would turn into an inside joke. Whenever they see litter or something like that, I could see them saying something about fossils.