The Top

Hello! Yes, it's disgusting, but I assure you I am not disgusting myself. I'm pretty sure they weren't there yesterday...I hope. :/ They were very, very small, so I agree with #48, #50 and #101 that they probably came into being last night. They had over ten hours, as I went to bed early and got up late. I immediately threw away my toothbrush, toothpaste and washed my toothbrush holder. I of course went out and bought a new toothbrush and new tube of toothpaste. I felt very self-conscious going out without having brushed my teeth, so I chewed on lots of sugar free gum. :P I brush my teeth twice a day, as recommended by the ADA. I've actually replaced my toothbrush three times in the last three months for various reasons, including when I dropped one of them on the floor. I'm very conscious of my dental health. I keep my toothbrush upright in a glass (easier to see when it needs cleaning at the bottom...toothbrush holders themselves often have maggots or eggs in them. >_<), and I have a cover over the top of it (more on that in the next paragraph). When I flush the toilet, I always put the lid down because when you flush a toilet, it sprays particles of whatever is in there all around the room. We've had a problem with small, irritating little flies just recently, and I'm 99% sure those little arseholes are responsible. I rinse my toothbrush after I use it, and then put it in the holder with a cover on it...and I think that contributed to this, by creating a dark, moist place for a fly to lay its eggs. I won't be using one of those anymore. It shall sit free, as obviously the cover wasn't doing a bloody ounce of good anyway. This just makes me wonder what other delightful bugs land or crawl on our toothbrushes when we're not using them. :X I bet this happens more than we think, and the eggs just don't get a chance to hatch into maggots on the toothbrush. :P

Love language

By gummy bear - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend, "Where art thou, my love?" via SMS. She replied, "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 662

You deserved it 31 267

By copshop - 10/11/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 299

You deserved it 36 066

By christinabear - 15/04/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 896

You deserved it 88 906

By lifeguardlechery - 14/09/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 855

You deserved it 3 244

lifeguardlechery tells us more.

lifeguardlechery 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 17:17

To be fair, I did scream "OMG NO! GTF OFFAME!" at the time. It's just that there was no one around but him and me to hear it (it was really early). After that point in time he switched to verbal sexual harassment. =_=

By Anonymous - 20/03/2014 20:23 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 987

You deserved it 3 469