Kids: Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using...

By Anonymous - 27/03/2009 13:05 - Austria

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 972

You deserved it 93 092

Kids

Compromises

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Sounds like a catch

By catfriend - 06/05/2014 05:42 - United States - Salida

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 939

You deserved it 4 823

By anonymous - 17/05/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 734

You deserved it 28 341

Am I a joke to you?

By Devo - 12/08/2021 19:01

Today, I received a wedding invitation. It was from my ex-girlfriend, who left me for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 51

By KathleenSchuler - 05/03/2013 03:38 - United States

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 084

You deserved it 3 572

By rackman007 - 13/05/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 253

You deserved it 91 802

By leaftheerickson - 21/10/2012 10:31 - United States - Bohemia

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 886

You deserved it 1 594

By Anonymous - 11/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I called my mom while she was out of town and confessed how I have been depressed lately and thinking suicidal thoughts. After my long sob story, she took a breath and said, "OK, just make sure you don't forget to take the dogs out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 630

You deserved it 5 673

By Profucktardor - 24/01/2014 20:33 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 46 804

You deserved it 3 889

By dibman - 07/01/2011 09:11 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 653

You deserved it 2 942

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 183

You deserved it 2 930

By HotelClerk - 22/01/2010 06:37 - United States

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 101

You deserved it 42 385

By Anonymous - 18/05/2019 02:33

Today, I was complaining to my friend how I was doing all the work in my group, and that they were getting all the credit. Her response? "It's OK, you're doing a shitty job anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 244

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 655

You deserved it 50 203

By ellieinc - 08/08/2016 03:39 - United States - Stacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 930

You deserved it 1 388

By teeeessst - 13/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 813

You deserved it 26 016

By Username - 01/07/2010 04:55 - France

Today, I found out that while getting your hair cut, you should say 'yes' or 'no', instead of nodding your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 428

You deserved it 59 438

See ya!

By leftbehind - 27/02/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive, my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car, so they won't be stopping to get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 606

You deserved it 2 305

Whipping boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 48

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 458

You deserved it 18 272

By Anonymous - 27/07/2013 17:51 - Finland

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 004

You deserved it 8 741

By goodlord12 - 17/01/2013 07:53 - United States - Branson

Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 249

You deserved it 30 240

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 909

You deserved it 33 270

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 18:23 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 963

You deserved it 52 320

By callofdutyhater - 21/08/2011 05:48 - United States

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 819

You deserved it 5 918

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 196

You deserved it 45 391

By smileydays - 29/01/2014 03:09 - Canada - Merritt

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 734

You deserved it 3 799

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 20:10 - United States - Kankakee

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 720

You deserved it 11 391

By fucking_worthless_loser - 08/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Concord

Today, I got into an emotional argument with Cleverbot. I ended up apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 742

You deserved it 2 001

By sockmonkey - 01/05/2012 02:21 - United States - Corona

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 685

You deserved it 4 261

By hate enough to kill... - 14/10/2012 20:57 - Netherlands - Stevensweert

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 1 988

By Chicketi - 11/02/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 935

You deserved it 8 227

By Anonymous - 21/02/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 094

You deserved it 4 568

By fistpumpin4life - 10/10/2010 00:51 - France

Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 565

You deserved it 33 280

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 356

You deserved it 57 838

Parents love

By Anonymous - 29/12/2019 18:00

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 516

You deserved it 1 014

By ev_lyn_aw - 17/05/2017 04:00

Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 808

You deserved it 266

By gahdamnit - 28/05/2010 13:18 - Australia

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 587

You deserved it 25 796

By dargas - 09/03/2010 21:08 - United States

Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 113

You deserved it 2 684

Deep desire

By Anonymous - 16/12/2019 21:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for almost a year. I finally have a good chance to get pregnant this month, and I'm ovulating today for the first time in 3 months. My husband has the flu, he's highly contagious for the next 24 hours, and has been asleep since I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 245

By Anonymous - 22/01/2017 16:00

Today, while I was at the gym, I saw a guy walk into the girls locker room. I was walking nearby so I said, "Hey man, that's the wrong one." Turns out it was just a very masculine-looking woman, with a very masculine haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 757

You deserved it 2 237

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Top comments

L4m3r 3

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:07

Perhaps you should have buried the dog further down... he must've been awfully close to the surface if your son was able to reach the bones with a plastic shovel.

songstress4life 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:07

And this is why we shouldn't lie to our kids about dumb stuff. They can handle the truth.

wowfmlife 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:06

Ouch good luck explaining that

Philosophic 0

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Sunday 28 February 2010 2:42

In Soviet Russia, Dog buries You.

thatonek1d 0

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Tuesday 4 May 2010 7:12

dude, landfill.

laurabelle 0

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Sunday 12 December 2010 4:01

op should've remembered where she buried the dog

songstress4life 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:07

And this is why we shouldn't lie to our kids about dumb stuff. They can handle the truth.

hellokittywhore 0

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Monday 26 July 2010 2:19

I agree, don't bull shit your kids if you ever want them to grow up to be strong enough to handle loss. I had my cat and dog both die within a month of each other and i helped bury them when I was 7 :( RIP Oreo And Zena!!

Thunderstruck14 30

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Friday 15 August 2014 7:28

Its the parents who can't handle the truth, and instead of doing the right thing, even though its sometimes hard to do, they just hide things from kids and lie to them instead of taking the time to explain things. They'll even get upset if someone else tries to explain it to the kid. As if their lies are moral and telling the truth is mean or inappropriate.

NostalgiaFreak9 40

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Monday 1 June 2015 14:08

I had a cat when I was really young, they had to put it down when I was 3, and my mom was honest to me about the situation. She didn't come up with some bullshit like most parents do to cover up the death of a pet, especially one that had to be put down.

L4m3r 3

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:07

Perhaps you should have buried the dog further down... he must've been awfully close to the surface if your son was able to reach the bones with a plastic shovel.

nahgemsoohc 0

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Tuesday 28 June 2011 23:09

HAHAHAHAHHA!!!;)))

oroxsnyder 8

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Sunday 12 April 2015 0:05

^ ???

shehzeenahmed 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:09

Why would you be digging around an area where you know you buried the dog? And yeah, I agree with #3, it definitely should have been buried deeper down. good luck explaining that to the kid.

ellebell 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:11

you lied to your son?!?! *gasp*

kram02 2

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Sunday 20 June 2010 5:37

lol

wowfmlife 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:11

tell him its a dinosaur bone, he'll love it

kaykaypopz 0

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Tuesday 16 March 2010 16:09

I doubt he needs to lie to the kid more than he has

josiej0j0 0

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Saturday 13 August 2011 21:57

yeah, then he will want to keep it. Who would want a bone from a dog of yours that passed away?

piderman13 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:11

LIAAAAAARR!!!! what did you do? peel the grass and just like stomp the dog under that?? hahaha plastic shovels aren't too great for digging unless its like hawaii sand.

whattheeff 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:13

Well the only way to cover that up is to tell more lies which is the reason why you're in this situation in the first place. Just tell him the truth, he'll probably appreciate it.

panda_bear511 0

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Friday 27 March 2009 20:18

Why is it sooo close to the surface? You obviously spent more time making up lies then actually giving the dog a nice send off... Well have fun explaining that