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It was an 'Oh Jesus.. Ive had you between my legs and now you're the decider on whether or not I actually get to make money off of my brand new nursing degree' moment. :-D

By Hm - 08/02/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 564

You deserved it 4 017

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 986

You deserved it 6 463

Manchild

By lynnie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 428

You deserved it 6 211

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 19:35 - United States

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 794

You deserved it 3 915

Banjo starts playing in the background

By unknown - 09/11/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 242

You deserved it 5 181

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 20:27 - United States

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 648

You deserved it 36 753

By deadman - 09/07/2012 18:25 - United Kingdom - Market Harborough

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 401

You deserved it 2 482

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 23:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 498

You deserved it 13 101

By Anonymous - 26/10/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 214

You deserved it 5 044

By badatgenders - 03/10/2009 22:49 - Norway

Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 605

You deserved it 6 743

iselilja tells us more.

iselilja 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 19:00

ok ok, OP/badatgenders (and no, I'm not making that my average FML name) speaking, after reading all of these comments I feel like 99% of you got it wrong: THIS WAS NOT A TRANSVESTITE MALE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. THIS WAS A WOMAN (probably a lesbian), WITH A MALE-ISH FACE. My friends (who thought this was hilarious) googled the phone number and turns out; her name is Linda. So, you christians and atheists and every other religious/not religious member of this website; peace and love! no need for fighting here, ok? SHE was also wearing a black blazer with heavy shoulderpads, so I didnt see the dress until she stood up. Maybe I should have guessed, but I was half-drunk, and honestly believed it was a guy. The tables was set up in a way that made some of the view blocked by this shemale's friends and so on, blah blah blah. I did not notice the phone number at first when she walked out, since I was too shocked over the fact that I thought she was a guy, but I saw it after that she and her friends had left. Any more questions? Thanks for calling me an ignorant ass and a dumb ****! I totally agree guys, I probably need some glasses. But bye bye! I gotta go. My friends are spreading this all over facebook and my father (friend at facebook, strangely enough) are wondering if his daughter has becomed a lesbian, after all. Later!