Intimacy: Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME...

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 596

You deserved it 8 148

Intimacy

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Scubanaut 13

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:16

Did you quit her cold turkey?

Bwcoleman222 5

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:20

"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"

ECHOSPiiKES 19

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:15

First

GirlGamer12345 22

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:16

Does she happen to have a turkey fetish?

golferman72 16

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:53

Did you put some gravy on that turkey?

zandalee 19

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 1:47

I would so hide the turkey baster!

GirlGamer12345 22

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 3:32

I always see these wasted #1 comments. I never realized I would be one of them

scooterdude720 19

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 4:04

Don't worry, you weren't. You were #2.

ttubear 17

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 4:05

You're #2

Stazza11 27

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 4:12

Um, merry Christmas?? Haha

Scubanaut 13

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:16

Did you quit her cold turkey?

maggiefox 25

Tuesday 15 April 2014 3:10

HA. Cute.

incoherentrmblr 21

Tuesday 15 April 2014 4:25

#3 should've been #1.

You_Aint_Chet 5

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 4:37

That was punny.

hulopro 16

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 14:19

You fowl baster. D.

LCPLStewie 23

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Friday 18 April 2014 8:47

Stop. get off. grab turkey baster. throw onto bed. say finish your self. then leave

whatwhatindayeah 11

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:17

that phrase is only used on thanksgiving

devilldogg 5

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 3:19

op didn't

extrasnipes 22

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 3:25

He didn't even bother to cum

Ki11erC 18

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 12:05

4: No it's not, not everyone lives in America, amazing as that may seem.

IloveToLaugh143 21

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 13:43

It wasn't literal, it was a joke, as amazing as that may seem.

shaww 28

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:17

Thanksgiving already?

Cassmoneyyy 15

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:17

Do not blame you. Why would she think that is sexy? Lol. Unless either of you have a food fetish..

DeadPixel4 29

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:19

I would make a funny comment, but your gf beat me to it.

penguin_bitchez 15

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:19

boner killer

BobRyder 24

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:20

Should have replied, "Yeah baby I got the baster right here!"

JimmyHasNoHands 7

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Tuesday 15 April 2014 8:44

perfect comment with face

MLardinos 14

Tuesday 15 April 2014 14:35

Yea, I bet he's a real master baster!

Bwcoleman222 5

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:20

"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"

Nearly

Today, I struck out with two potential girlfriends, and then found out Jason David Frank died. I grew up with Power Rangers. Both types of heartbreak on one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 19

Today, I ate an apple. It was good. It was red. inside was not red. red is cool. cool things are red. I like pizza. pizza is good. pizza has the letter Z in it. Z is a cool letter. I like Z. I wonder why zzz means sleeping. Sleeping has an S and not a Z. I like winning. Winning is good. Losing is bad. Bad is not good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 37

Spicy

Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who hided he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 12

Today, I found out my husband cheated on me with my "best friend" on our 6-year anniversary, the 11th of November. He'd left the next morning with no explanation, and she even picked me up to go get ice cream. Three days later we even went Christmas shopping together. How could they do this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 123

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