By gmac0417 - 01/09/2012 06:02 - United States

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was, "I thought I deleted the messages." FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 507
You deserved it 3 185

Same thing different taste

Top comments

ChrisTheCalm 9

Facebook. Destroying lives since 2008.


Boygenius50 8

Ehhhh. I mean, I can't say YDI because if he was unfaithful, then I really do feel sorry for you. But if all he did was talk, and if you invaded his Facebook to read his messages, I can't say you're blameless either.

It's not that easy to delete a husband. I'm sorry OP, sometimes men can be so stupid.

hopsinlove17 26

Ydi only because you went looking for a problem. However, the fact that your husband was cheating on you is disrespectful. I'm sorry OP:(

Maybe she could be one of those people who are addicted to the games of Facebook, and was on her husbands account playing, when all of a sudden, she gets a chat message. Or she went looking for a problem..

TheFamilyElf 17

11- yeah, you're very right. And it's also a possibility that OP was overreacting to messages that may not have meant anything serious. (for example, reconnecting with an old friend) However, if the messages were bad enough that the husband felt he had to delete them, that's probably a bad assumption. Sounds like he's a bit dim, though. Cheating, forgetting to delete, and coming up with a crap excuse. I bet OP could find someone better. Whoops, ranting again. :P

People never learn not to cheat. I am sure a lot of people know not to cheat, but a lot of people don't know how to process it in their brain.

I still don't understand what's wrong with the husband's actions in this FML. If the messages were that bad, OP would surely have said how bad they were. But it only says "talking to another woman". Sorry, but to me, OP just sounds bitter, jealous and clingy.

Talking to another person is not cheating. She just sounds like a jealous woman. My ex was the same way, she actually deleted a ton of my friends on FB and that's a huge reason we are not dating anymore.

Well "talking" to someone nowadays can mean flirting. I've seen many people flirt heavily and say innuendos to each other and if they are asked if they are dating, they say, "oh we're TALKING ;)". It's very confusing. But maybe the husband and wife go on each other's account because if the wife was snooping where she shouldn't be, the husband wouldn't feel the need to delete his private messages. Either way, I think it sucks. I mean, if it was truly an innocent conversation, then why would the husband feel the need to delete the messages? Unless he just knows his wife overreacts... Then I feel bad for HIM.

So he was TALKING to another woman. Thats no reason to break up or, worse, DELETE him :(

I think this is just a jealous wife. She says 'talking', surely that means she knows herself it wasn't flirty? I'll admit I'm one to sometimes get jealous but my boyfriend won't delete messages he's had normal conversations in just because of me. Something tells me he's had to deal with this jealousy before and thought this was the best way to deal with it. Some say he may be wrong but some women flip at men just talking politely to other women. The best way I get through any jealously is to take the piss out of myself. I joke about deleting his friends and such because he and I both know I wouldn't be so stupid. If they are just talking then she may need some help to overcome the jealousy. It may help. Hopefully she doesn't push her husband away and they can sort things out!

mduffy08 8

Y-y-you blocked me on facebook. A-n-ndddd now you are going to DIE!

Yes it is. By him saying "I thought I deleted the messages" means he KNOWS he was doing something he shouldn't have done. Sorry OP, time to move on or get some marital counseling for the two of you.

iGrassYourSister 6

yeah so he needs to be deleted and he deserves it for communicating with another woman? how retarded are you people? Just because wife is jealous doesn't mean jack shit, and don't give me crap that " it must be smth bad cuz he said he thought he deleted messages" because he knows his wife and knows she will overreact for about anything. Damn average FML user IQ must be potato!

122 - And your IQ is higher? You don't even use complete words and you miss words in your sentences. I'd not cast the first stone quite yet. You need some help too.

122 - what? Try again, this time in English.

You can find another man. I just heard you can talk to people on Facebook! Hang in there op!

Who leaves their husband because of Facebook messages? They don't have to mean anything. The whole situation probably just stressed him out and he said the first excuse that came to his mind. Just talk to your husband and if it turns out he was cheating, see if you can make it work anyway if you really love him, THEN if that doesn't work out, leave him.

Reformat his harddrives. That'll teach him!

Not a good idea, because they're married. They might be sharing the computer or something.

You mean as a punishment for talking to someone? Well. I'd love to see what punishment you think would suit Hitler.

why were you looking through his messages anyway..

4 - it's very possible he had her look at something on his Facebook and she saw the messages. My husband has had me read things on his Facebook before. There should be a complete openness and trust in the relationship. My husband knows most of my passwords and can access my stuff if he wants. I've got nothing to hide from him so I don't care if he logs on and looks around.

She's insecure and obviously she has reasons to be.

She clearly has reason to be. When you're married there's no secrets. He shouldn't want to be hiding things from her anyways.

Perhaps they're older, and like my parents, don't have many friends on Facebook. If the husband had left his Facebook logged in when OP went on the computer, she may have seen a message notification and thought something along the lines of "Now which of his 5 friends on here could possibly need to be talking to him?!" and opened the drop down thingy just to see the first part of the message that appears out of sheer curiosity. It happens. My mom did that on my Facebook and she's definitely seen some things she wasn't supposed to.

15, Great in theory, but when you are applying these things in reality you realise people come with complexities that are beyond the scope of "there should be complete trust and openness". How you manage your relationship is up to you, but don't go suggesting everyone needs to be the same.

15, true, I didn't even think that, I apologize. that is what my parents' relationship is like, they are completely open about everything such as online accounts and pretty much everything, so I don't know why I didn't think of that theory lol.

My husband leaves his shit logged in. so, I'd open the computer and see everything he was looking at last.

ChrisTheCalm 9

Facebook. Destroying lives since 2008.

sweetmama88 6

Your 100 percent right ! I hate when my child is on there . What ever happened to the phone to talk to people .

No Facebook doesn't destroy lives, people do. Facebook didn't make her husband send a woman those messages.

ChubbyNicki 6

1. Facebook was created in 2004. 2. Facebook isn't responsible for people being unloyal to their partners. Even if it wasn't around, shit would hit the fan some other way.

yup. hello... ASHLEY MADISON. the site dedicated to helping married people cheat.

Yeah, I agree. If you find your significant other doing things that are even remotely suspicious, dump their ass right away! You will find someone else within minutes! /sarcasm off

Maybe you could do that, but it's not that easy in a marriage... You have to go through an entire legal process that can take up to years in worst case scenario...

Rocky007 15

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hopsinlove17 26

The trust is still broken...and that's a deal breaker

TheFamilyElf 17

14- you're right; she'll be paranoid for a long time. 7- my uncle (who lives in rural North Carolina in the USA) brought his wife over from Russia after meeting on the Internet and they've been together for years.

I hope that was sarcasm.... A lot of Internet dating becomes "real". I guess if you're a kid it doesn't, but for adults it does.

25- obviously he bought her. Then again, that block of the world will do anything for a buck. *gears turning*

Yeah, the guy that I've met on World of Warcraft, been in a relationship with for 3 years and lives with me isn't real... Right. Cheating is still cheating online or in real life.

xxDefiantxx 0

Delete system32 on his computer and throw his phone in a lake.

That would be a pretty mature way to handle things...

zuzupetalsYO 11

Mature 22? Like his behavior was real mature. But yeah, I'd cut all his shit up after his phone went in the lake.

All of that just for "talking to other women" ... Holy shit what a crime, it didn't even mention flirting, but then again maybe I'm just saying this because the majority of my friends are women and I had a super jealous and crazy ex who deleted all of the girls on my Facebook and lied about it for 6+ months -_-

I would say FYL, but aren't you invading his privacy a little?

He doesn't deserve privacy if he is doing stuff like that. OP probably had a reason to suspect something, as well, or she could have just stumbled upon it if he left his page up.

But my friends, why was she in his messages before she knew about this woman? Nosy perhaps?

Nosy or suspicious? I'm going with the second one. She obviously had a reason to snoop around if her husband is talking to another woman. A woman's intuition almost never fails.

josiemorehouse 12

I agree with #33, if OP has suspicions, then it's her right to check up on her hubby. IMO, people who freak out about invasion of privacy are the one who have something to hide. It's not like they're dating, they are married. OP's husband shouldn't be carrying on private conversations with ANY woman behind OP's back. Sorry, but if my hubby acts suspicious, you better believe I'll go behind him and check his email, Facebook or phone. If he has nothing to hide, he shouldn't get mad.

amandajlucas2015 2

They are married my parents have no passwords on there crap because they have nothing to hide.. I have a password on my phone but my bf knows my password and when he picks it up and starts messin with it guess Wut I don't care cuz I have nothing to hide.. There shouldn't have been anything on there for her to find in the first place..

MichellinMan 20

Jesus ****, it doesn't matter. The only thing that does matter is the fact that he was cheating on her. So all you ignorant assholes saying "oh you were too nosy, ydi" need to shut the hell up. Obviously you're all a bunch of stupid clueless 10 year olds. Cheating on someone is horrible.