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Monday 7 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34217) - you deserved it (11125)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (5679)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you deserved it (4071)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, someone in my 8-floor appartment building got an airhorn. They seem to enjoy using it. I can't work out where they are. FML

#20919926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (2392)

On 10/14/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by STOPTHENOISE (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39695) - you deserved it (2607)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37817) - you deserved it (11577)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (6796)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (14746)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41668) - you deserved it (3972)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44853) - you deserved it (2425)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I have to go on a 7-hour-bus ride sitting beside my ex-boyfriend's mother. We broke up because she told him to. FML

#20912397
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43449) - you deserved it (2692)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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