Love: Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told...

By elo - 20/12/2008 05:50 - France

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 914

You deserved it 32 469

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fairy tale

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 20:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I found out that an annoying guy who had asked me out spread a nasty rumour after I stood him up. According to him, I not only showed up to our date, I also went home with him, had advanced sex with him, then in the morning when he woke up, I was having sex with his roommate. All our friends believe this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 336

Experimenting

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Englewood

Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 609

By nina - 11/08/2010 16:04 - Luxembourg

Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 663

You deserved it 40 894

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 554

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 338

You deserved it 9 837

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 40 954

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 893

By oops secretary - 26/09/2018 12:00

Today, after I had an excellent one night stand with a guy yesterday, I saw him at work. He was a client my boss was trying to talk into a deal. The guy recognised me and accused my boss of sending me to seduce him into signing the contract. The deal fell apart and my boss is livid with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 368

You deserved it 652

The truth

By xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - 08/03/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 449

You deserved it 34 808

By Nutty - 16/11/2018 22:00

Today, I finally spent the night with a new guy after recently ending a 3-year toxic relationship. The new guy disappeared for 2 hours in the middle of the night, then came back to bed. Turns out he was busy snogging my housemate. I really choose them well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 798

You deserved it 546

x_eyebrows 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:04

If you're getting drunk with the intent of having sex with a person you've never met, you pretty much deserve whoever you wake up to the next morning. Beggars can't be choosers.

MissMeanie 5

Wednesday 14 December 2011 2:22

Buddies helping ugly buddies get laid. He was doing him a favor.

Comments

feelslikeanoose 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 1:19

ahahahha! This is great. I feel ya sister hunny.

jarofarts 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 10:21

hahahaha

jsmith1199 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 2:41

Haha.. this reminds me of all those times when ***** slept with random people and died of AIDS HAHAHAH serves you right stupid ****

x_eyebrows 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 5:04

If you're getting drunk with the intent of having sex with a person you've never met, you pretty much deserve whoever you wake up to the next morning. Beggars can't be choosers.

mariahrawks 0

Tuesday 11 May 2010 4:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

T1A2Z3 34

Saturday 14 April 2018 12:17

We're not hating on her. We're saying she wanted sex with a stranger. She somehow managed to get two guys mixed up (sounds drunk) amd had sex with a stranger. She got what she wanted.

underaegis 0

Friday 20 August 2010 8:21

she's right I mean as long as no one got pregnant it's a good thing right

rcbarnes 24

Sunday 26 February 2012 7:22

Why assume it was alcohol?

comadank 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 6:47

uuuuuummmmmmmmmmm im a guy and my beer goggles only get better the more i drink wtf lmao

pariah411 0

Friday 10 April 2009 19:40

Another battle won in the war against arrogant slutty bitches!!! Well done, sir. As for the chick, I hope you get pregnant.

Allan_is_Awesome 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 21:17

Aww, that suc ks, but is also hilarious

nonstopsand 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 17:04

filthy filthy woman. hope you got crabs

jsmith1199 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 1:46

well if youre stupid and slutty enough to bring any guy home after only one night then youre stupid and slutty enough to not be able to tell the difference between one guy and another, as long as you get a dick in you.