Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
heynow09 0
i think it shows that you really love her that your still with her even though her breath stinks but you should just be honest with her so you can actually enjoy kissing her.
amandaMALICE 0
hahha. I would want a guy to tell me something like that. I wouldnt care Id be like "oh shit hold on lemme buy some mints"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
heynow09 0
i think it shows that you really love her that your still with her even though her breath stinks but you should just be honest with her so you can actually enjoy kissing her.
amandajlucas2015 2
Just tell her her breath stinks.. I tell my bf his breath stinks in the morning or something like that and he tells me.. Of course were not tryin to make out in the morning either maybe just a peck lol
meniacle19 0
i been with a couple girls whos breath was terrible and i know it can be awkward to bring up, luckily (i guess) i wasnt with them for very long and it worked itself out but, if your staying for a long time you should bring it up. remember she's probably gonna get upset anyway you try and tell her so just do it.
Zonedout 2
buy her some listerine for her birthday and write on the card "I love your beautifuk teh, but the cat shit breath has to go" No seriously though I told my ex I had a very sensitive sense of smell and she would brush or chew gum to alleviate it, she smokes so yeah...though she complied without much complaint...thats not why shes my ex. Just talk to her be honest and don't be like " god your breath reeks" its easier to be honest than to be sweet sometimes and if you're lucky its beneficial to both partys.
Dimaranien 1
you should just be honest. Or try passing candies as you kiss, or tictacs or something. My friend always complained on her way to math class that her boyfriend's breath smelled like a port-a-potty. I gave her some altoids. hehe, adds a little kick too!
RhiCarlton 0
I agree with the tictacs or Altoids thing. I would also suggest gum because even if she doesn't want any- the smell and taste (should) overwhelm her breath and you shouldn't smell or taste it >
knitbitch 0
Hey, try to have a kissing "game" where you have a tic-tac or altoid in your mouth then try to pass it to her when you kiss.
AlexC_fml 0
had same problem difference is that i told my gf (at the time) that she needed to brush more often or something.. just be blunt, **** it.
roshnee93 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
is there a way you can dump her?!
B00_fml 0
She may not realize her breath is bad. Just let her know in a nice way.
livingdeadgirl 0
Break up with her if she disgusts you. Why the hell would you lie to her like that?