By who_cares - United States - Garden Grove Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML I agree, your life sucks 33436 You deserved it 10677 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By synn - Singapore Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 23479 You deserved it 3080 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Andrea Trevor Still counts! Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2419 You deserved it 215 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 522339 You deserved it 36769 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML I agree, your life sucks 29923 You deserved it 5807 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML I agree, your life sucks 48580 You deserved it 6369 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while in class, I noticed that someone had really bad B.O. I was seated next to an extremely ill-mannered girl, so I figured it was her, and thought to myself that if it happened again, I'd tell her off. Once I got home and took off my jacket, I realized it was me. I forgot to put on deodorant. FML I agree, your life sucks 6951 You deserved it 45196 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kiwi - United Kingdom Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML I agree, your life sucks 47211 You deserved it 5556 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hero to zero - United States Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML I agree, your life sucks 34032 You deserved it 15117 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By guest - Argentina - Buenos Aires Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML I agree, your life sucks 25799 You deserved it 1945 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fml9124 - 19/2/2021 19:58 Today, my neighbor yelled at me because her two kids got into my pool. They scaled a two-meter wall to get to my backyard. They used a tree in her yard that hangs over the wall. I guess I could install razor wire on top of the wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 963 You deserved it 45 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/1/2021 04:58 The runs Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML I agree, your life sucks 738 You deserved it 414 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML I agree, your life sucks 43842 You deserved it 2858 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hikara - Australia Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML I agree, your life sucks 165146 You deserved it 24308 319 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Awkward - France Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 29766 You deserved it 3686 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By StairwayToEvan92 Today, I ran over a recently-killed skunk in the road. My truck now smells absolutely rancid, and the smell will probably last for months. At least it goes well with my dog, who was also skunked 6 weeks ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 2001 You deserved it 273 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hopslammer - United States Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML I agree, your life sucks 11198 You deserved it 48948 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zed - Canada - Edmonton Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML I agree, your life sucks 26840 You deserved it 3082 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BornToBeABurden - United Kingdom - London Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML I agree, your life sucks 46556 You deserved it 5665 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML I agree, your life sucks 30788 You deserved it 6271 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML4evs - United States Pete Townshend has a lot to answer for Today, my little brother watched an old video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML I agree, your life sucks 85672 You deserved it 4655 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Meowitzer Classy Mom Today, I was elected "class mom", even though I didn’t want to do it. I was also handed several envelopes in the hectic school hallway, containing parental cash contributions for the year. I lost several of the envelopes while rushing to my car, and now have to contribute €100 instead of €25. FML I agree, your life sucks 1214 You deserved it 1006 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hlaalette - Belgium Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 27072 You deserved it 3052 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By duncan74 - France - Balma Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML I agree, your life sucks 31828 You deserved it 4240 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dan - United Kingdom Today, I had my leaving party after work to celebrate getting a new job. 3 people turned up. I'd invited 35. FML I agree, your life sucks 33949 You deserved it 5395 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lostintdot - Canada - Kitchener Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML I agree, your life sucks 47864 You deserved it 5134 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lamed - United States Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML I agree, your life sucks 38095 You deserved it 14709 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UnluckyJulie - United States Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML I agree, your life sucks 41233 You deserved it 2683 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mbesameh - United States Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 43630 You deserved it 6230 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By colorblind - United States Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML I agree, your life sucks 14423 You deserved it 71209 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lauren Davies Paper-thin walls Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML I agree, your life sucks 1446 You deserved it 264 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Smithville Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML I agree, your life sucks 31212 You deserved it 1789 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By new name - United States - Storrs Mansfield Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 30213 You deserved it 16526 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zks Today, I received yet more mail for my ex-fiancé. We've been broken up for nearly a year and I've told him multiple times to change his address. Getting his mail is a constant reminder that I haven't dated since. FML I agree, your life sucks 30430 You deserved it 5919 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emily Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML I agree, your life sucks 24299 You deserved it 16878 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Soaked - United States Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 46129 You deserved it 7980 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ireland - Dublin Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML I agree, your life sucks 40858 You deserved it 2965 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Panda_Bearr - United States Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML I agree, your life sucks 33592 You deserved it 2707 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sm702 - United States Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 23419 You deserved it 52231 298 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bogrbon - 21/4/2020 14:00 It's called fashion Dave, look it up Today, since we can’t go out due to the quarantine, my wife decided she wanted to shave my back with a razor. Two hours later, I have a sore back and I look like I'm wearing the front half of the worlds ugliest sweater vest. FML I agree, your life sucks 1184 You deserved it 275 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By snickerdoodles - United States Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 25743 You deserved it 5983 288 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Meepson | 9 #6345583 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:48 Make that dream a reality ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Send a private message 559 8 Reply
By Llama_Man2000 | 26 #6345584 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:49 "Sorry, wrong person." Send a private message 524 6 Reply
By Meepson | 9 #6345583 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:48 Make that dream a reality ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Send a private message 559 8 Reply
Reply Anchovy11 | 7 #6345658 - Thursday 9 July 2015 20:04 JUST DO IT Send a private message 79 2 Reply
Reply meliodafool_ | 15 #6345737 - Thursday 9 July 2015 21:55 Yesterday you said tomorrow, so JUST DO IT! Send a private message 38 3 Reply
Reply jtfrisch | 22 #6345753 - Thursday 9 July 2015 22:27 NOOOOOOO PLEASE GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Send a private message 8 18 Reply
Reply ohSNAPyall | 26 #6345757 - Thursday 9 July 2015 22:38 Good luck with that now! Send a private message 7 1 Reply
Reply notzax | 19 #6346200 - Friday 10 July 2015 7:51 Don't let your dreams be dreams!!!! JUST.... JUST DO IT! Send a private message 13 1 Reply
Reply TheKingOfHearts | 19 #6346768 - Friday 10 July 2015 21:56 #1 FHRITP Send a private message 1 2 Reply
By Llama_Man2000 | 26 #6345584 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:49 "Sorry, wrong person." Send a private message 524 6 Reply
Reply nonsensical | 26 #6346211 - Friday 10 July 2015 8:08 "I really liked our time last night... is what I WOULD say if we went on a date ;)" super smoooooooooth 21 0 Reply
By wheresmymary | 22 #6345585 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:49 Maybe he's into it Send a private message 54 4 Reply
By thejzabs | 25 #6345586 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:49 Ask her out!! You'll never have a good night with her if you don't Send a private message 59 7 Reply
Reply SuperCasual | 13 #6345602 - Thursday 9 July 2015 19:04 Someone can't read correctly Send a private message 3 51 Reply
Reply hippodankamus | 22 #6345621 - Thursday 9 July 2015 19:25 Right... Send a private message 14 2 Reply
Reply Noreason89 | 6 #6345647 - Thursday 9 July 2015 19:51 #9 That someone is you Send a private message 53 0 Reply
Reply SuperCasual | 13 #6345665 - Thursday 9 July 2015 20:10 Please disregard this comment, I had only just woken up and decided to respond to a random person saying this Send a private message 3 53 Reply
Reply invadermaythe1st | 35 #6346123 - Friday 10 July 2015 6:21 #28 didn't your mother teach you not to lie? Send a private message 11 1 Reply
By Bricktothehead | 21 #6345587 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:51 Are you sure you're not dreaming now? Send a private message 11 15 Reply
By _kyleG_ | 34 #6345589 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:53 Sounds like girl of your dreams didn't understand that she was the girl IN your dreams Send a private message 64 6 Reply
By nieldan | 8 #6345594 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:57 well, that was REALLY awkward. Send a private message 27 4 Reply
Reply jacob_coryell98 | 8 #6345675 - Thursday 9 July 2015 20:20 blue slide park Send a private message 1 9 Reply
By WOTAN1488 | 24 #6345597 - Thursday 9 July 2015 18:59 LOL! You could then pursue several routes at that point. Send a private message 17 1 Reply
By ohkay12 | 11 #6345603 - Thursday 9 July 2015 19:04 Haha! I'm curious about how she responded xD Send a private message 39 2 Reply
By sinn3r76 | 9 #6345605 - Thursday 9 July 2015 19:06 is the co-worker a guy or girl... and is the op a guy or girl, cause it could get really awkward maybe I'm over thinking it ? Send a private message 21 11 Reply
Reply yoursucklives | 36 #6345617 - Thursday 9 July 2015 19:21 i think it doesn't matter if op/their crush is a guy/girl. it's awkward no matter what! Send a private message 42 3 Reply
Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that... I agree, your life sucks 593 You deserved it 23 3 Comments
Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the... I agree, your life sucks 537 You deserved it 121 2 Comments