Miscellaneous: Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm...

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 2 540

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Same thing different taste

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 049

You deserved it 4 406

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 278

You deserved it 5 626

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 05:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 866

You deserved it 6 295

By childdreamkiller - 08/12/2011 17:41 - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 294

You deserved it 5 195

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 004

You deserved it 6 149

By evil Santa - 25/12/2014 03:48 - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 3 206

By I said whaat - 18/12/2012 16:50

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 166

You deserved it 36 847

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 928

You deserved it 2 820

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 112

You deserved it 3 227

By NorwegianMadman - 22/12/2016 11:55

Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 704

You deserved it 477

nick17 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:20

He's gonna get u with his north pole LOL

domii_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 23:02

you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout i'm telling you why, santa is gonnna rape you, tonight.

Comments

liaotin 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 7:23

Er, Didi, I thought Father Christmas lived in Lapland? Santa lives at the North Pole.

WhyAmUHere 19

Wednesday 29 August 2012 3:20

Father Christmas, in French lore, lives in Heaven and descends on a cloud.

christiner51 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 0:28

LMAO LMAO LMAO! Totally agreed.

Lebb 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 13:12

Keep a knife for saftey lol jk im scared for u fyl

nick17 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:20

He's gonna get u with his north pole LOL

GiddyXD 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 14:35

LOL! WIN!

awesome1145 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:42

lol.

amd3lky 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 0:53

lmao

validus 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 3:42

what about his elves and reindeer?

babeechickGURL 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 8:16

wouldn't it be a south pole?

ronton 4

Friday 27 August 2010 13:16

haha nice south pole is even better

peasonearth 8

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:55

more like xxx-mas lololol

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 0:14

duude; that totally happened to me before :x I was in K-Mart and Santa held onto my waist and told my mom "No, she can stay right here." while he slapped his lap. creeeeper.

silly_kate 0

Friday 3 July 2009 14:26

well, santa is evil! annogram for satan!!! O.O! just kidding, but the song says he sees when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake! O.O!

DeafChef 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 12:09

you better watch out, you better not cry

pizz0wn3d 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 18:50

more like christmas night.

ladidalisa 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 21:04

hah

domii_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 23:02

you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout i'm telling you why, santa is gonnna rape you, tonight.

chelsaaay 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 21:16

Lmaooo dE

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Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 701

You deserved it 16 736

Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 924

You deserved it 1 964

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Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 504

Today, someone punched me in the back of the head, so I swung round and broke their nose. It was some woman screaming at me for wearing headphones and ignoring her. She then pulled a hidden disability badge out her pocket so everyone thought I was beating up a disabled person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 259

Today, we ran out of disposable gloves at work. After saying how grossed out I was about having to touch raw chicken with my bare hands, my female boss goes, "Just imagine you're touching yourself. That's what I do." Even more grossed out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 456

You deserved it 1 546

Today, my faculty mentor for my senior capstone project wasn't at my presentation for the entire department faculty. I assumed his wife or kids were sick, but that piece of shit told me himself that he was at home watching the new season of Stranger Things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 205

You deserved it 347

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 192

You deserved it 4 154

Today, my 17 year-old brother asked me if I used birth control. When I told him I did, he responded, "Isn't that like using an inhalor when you don't have asthma?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 219

Same thing different taste

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