Miscellaneous: Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm...

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 907

You deserved it 2 543

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Same thing different taste

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 060

You deserved it 4 410

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 05:15 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 872

You deserved it 6 309

By childdreamkiller - 08/12/2011 17:41 - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 5 199

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 020

You deserved it 6 153

By evil Santa - 25/12/2014 03:48 - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 145

You deserved it 3 215

By I said whaat - 18/12/2012 16:50

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 169

You deserved it 36 857

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 821

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 3 232

By NorwegianMadman - 22/12/2016 11:55

Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 715

You deserved it 479

nick17 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:20

He's gonna get u with his north pole LOL

domii_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 23:02

you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout i'm telling you why, santa is gonnna rape you, tonight.

Comments

liaotin 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 7:23

Er, Didi, I thought Father Christmas lived in Lapland? Santa lives at the North Pole.

WhyAmUHere 19

Wednesday 29 August 2012 3:20

Father Christmas, in French lore, lives in Heaven and descends on a cloud.

christiner51 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 0:28

LMAO LMAO LMAO! Totally agreed.

Lebb 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 13:12

Keep a knife for saftey lol jk im scared for u fyl

nick17 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:20

He's gonna get u with his north pole LOL

GiddyXD 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 14:35

LOL! WIN!

awesome1145 0

Wednesday 26 May 2010 5:42

lol.

amd3lky 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 0:53

lmao

validus 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 3:42

what about his elves and reindeer?

babeechickGURL 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 8:16

wouldn't it be a south pole?

ronton 4

Friday 27 August 2010 13:16

haha nice south pole is even better

peasonearth 8

Wednesday 29 June 2011 19:55

more like xxx-mas lololol

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 0:14

duude; that totally happened to me before :x I was in K-Mart and Santa held onto my waist and told my mom "No, she can stay right here." while he slapped his lap. creeeeper.

silly_kate 0

Friday 3 July 2009 14:26

well, santa is evil! annogram for satan!!! O.O! just kidding, but the song says he sees when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake! O.O!

DeafChef 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 12:09

you better watch out, you better not cry

pizz0wn3d 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 18:50

more like christmas night.

ladidalisa 0

Saturday 29 May 2010 21:04

hah

domii_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 23:02

you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout i'm telling you why, santa is gonnna rape you, tonight.

chelsaaay 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 21:16

Lmaooo dE

Keywords

Work Christmas You're fired AITA Love Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Mental health Health Relatable Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Intimacy Sex Lonely Holidays Bosses Capitalism Cars Covid

The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, one of my closest friends is an antivaxxer. Neither I nor my family are guaranteed to survive Covid, even though we are vaccinated, and I just can't understand why she will not get the jab when she knows so many people have died from Covid, while only a handful have died from the vax DUE TO COMPLICATIONS, and now she may hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 869

Today, I thought about her again. I want her back, even though I know I shouldn't. She did a lot to hurt me, but did even more to love me. Sometimes I just want the old her back, if that's even possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 448

Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 414

You deserved it 14 060

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 595

You deserved it 2 096

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 17 553

Today, and since yesterday, I've received numerous tearful, and sometimes angry, phone calls from my mom. The calls were not about her health issues, my kids, or even my dad losing his job. No, she was angry-crying about the FBI raid at Trump's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 189

Same thing different taste

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