Love: Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it,...

By Plume - 23/12/2008 07:43 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 631

You deserved it 2 469

Love

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Same thing different taste

By misswhiskers - 28/02/2011 11:21 - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 065

You deserved it 3 352

By aerythia - 08/12/2012 16:12 - United States - Nashville

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 665

You deserved it 5 513

Oh, by the way…

By PaulieD - 19/10/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 150

By holla1787 - 04/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 534

You deserved it 2 815

By A. nonymous - 14/12/2010 13:32

Today, my girlfriend made a delicious birthday breakfast, and she said there would be a surprise at the end. Today is not my birthday, it's her ex's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 959

You deserved it 3 026

Great gift idea!

By Anonymous - 15/09/2020 08:02 - New Zealand

Today, it was my birthday and my first present was finding out that my girlfriend of five years has been cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 98

By jake - 07/02/2010 18:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 163

You deserved it 8 231

Nice try

By forgottenbday - 11/07/2012 05:09 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 576

You deserved it 2 756

By brycepetrillo - 07/09/2013 16:08 - United States - New Port Richey

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 172

You deserved it 3 971

By imscrewed - 29/07/2009 19:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 390

You deserved it 4 119

Etc80 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 6:01

Asshole. Better off.

tylersign 11

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:41

Uh... "he has a new girlfriend" almost tells me OP is a GIRL jackass.

Comments

Etc80 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 6:01

Asshole. Better off.

cuterthanuthink 0

Monday 25 May 2009 21:42

omg that sucks!

dearViena 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 18:15

omg no :(

Dickman16 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 17:29

hahaha he probly did that on purpose. What a genius. lmfaoo

SAF_fml 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 5:48

mens asses

katewasherexx 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 1:31

I ******* hate ex boyfriends that are like that. Trust me, I have one.

chris1025 0

Friday 15 July 2011 4:37

omg u are retarted. a guy posted this

hahasooo 2

Thursday 26 April 2012 19:07

a guy did not post this!

PurelyCanadian 18

Thursday 3 April 2014 4:32

You misspelled "retarded".

Deal23 0

Monday 28 September 2009 18:11

My ex girlfriend did that so don't just blam guys.

LOL_7052 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 14:40

oh dear my ex has a girlfriend and didn't remember my birthday, whatever shall I do!!!!

RyanKaufman 7

Monday 28 December 2009 2:16

Stop throwing genders around. People in general do it. Humanity ******* sucks.

Monkey_Man_03 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 3:40

it's not like you were still together then told you. still, tough shit, girl :/

Keywords

Work Mental health ADHD Health Relatable Anger issues Kids Parenting Awkward Funerals Family Lonely Love AITA Weird Break-ups Parents Food Annoying Miscellaneous Gross Cooking Transportation Road rage Music Plumbing Party Surprise Cute Christmas

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Today, my date cried because his mom recently died. Of course, I was sympathetic because I'm a nice person, but he tried to leverage my sympathy into a blowjob in the restaurant toilet. Since we "obviously weren't going to work as a real couple", it was apparently "the least I could do to make him feel better." Creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 308

You deserved it 178

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 146

The Top

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 807

You deserved it 7 326

Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 583

You deserved it 17 057

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 936

You deserved it 6 164

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 334

You deserved it 46 519

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 435

You deserved it 3 097

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 165

You deserved it 3 520

Same thing different taste

Oh, by the way…

Great gift idea!

Nice try

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