Money: Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating... - FML

By stillpoor - United States

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

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Keep the peace

Ideal first date

Damp, dark night

By meeeee! - United States - Wilmington

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

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By Joey - United States

Today, my company hired a new guy to help on our project. My boss said that he would shadow me for the whole day so he could learn our system. At the end of the day my boss fired me, handed my company car keys and laptop to my "shadow for the day" right in front of me. My Mom picked me up. FML

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By Anonymous - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

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By sickened - United Kingdom - Gateshead

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

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By curvster daughter - United States

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

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By bakedplum - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Howell

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

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By Dweeb

WOOF!

Today, I ran into a parked car and fell into the gutter. All because a dog suddenly barked at me. From the other side of a wooden fence. FML

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By Badab1ng - United States

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2021 23:00

Not the one

Today, the guy who told me he “wasn’t looking for a relationship” started being in a relationship with another girl. I lost my virginity to him and went on a few dates with him. He’s actually confused as to why I’m upset about this. FML

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By BeachBummer

Today, I’ve been up since 5am getting everything ready for the beach. This is the first nice weekend we’ve had this season. I have a dressed toddler asleep on the couch and grown ass man that refuses to get out of bed. Today it’s 80 degrees. Next weekend is 50 degrees. FML

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By parent

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

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By houdini - United States

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

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By kitkat - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

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By Jamie - United States

Today, to get back at me for our recent breakup, my ex put a "9/11 was an inside job!" bumper sticker on my car. I work for the government in New York City, and I just got a text saying that my manager wants to talk to me. FML

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By Bambi - United States

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

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By IDIOT - United States

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

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By sarahhh - United States

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

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By J - United States

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

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By jswag2004 - United States - Elgin

Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

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By Candace - United States

Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML

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By loserface23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML

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By Busted - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

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By Poopsie

Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML

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By myl1f3isfuct - United States

Today, my college English teacher told me if I wanted an explanation for my grade I would have to schedule a conference to come to her office. It's an online class. I took an online class because I can't come in. FML

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By drugsforthugs - United States - Sierra Madre

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

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By Crushed

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for months invited me on a group hiking trip this weekend so that she won't be the most out of shape person on the trail. FML

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By Deidle-dee - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

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By starving_freelancer_forever

Today, I found out the works council won't let the company offer me the job for which I was the only applicant because the council requires 3 years experience with the company. I've only been here for 2 years, 10 months, and 26 days. FML

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By JackSteely

Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

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By JMU - United States

Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML

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By notacashier - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

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By knickedleg - France

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

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By stanky - United States - Columbus

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said "girls don't wear deodorant". He actually believed that. FML

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By Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

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By Sodge - Australia

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

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By Sodapop40

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

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By edulover - United States

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

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By squizzlebee - United Kingdom - York

Today, I saw on Facebook that a friend left her job where I also used to work, as she posted a picture of her farewell gifts, including cards, balloons and cookies. Normally, I'd be happy for her, except when I left I was told they'd "stopped doing farewell presents", and as such, I'd got nothing. FML

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Top comments

By musedae | 0

#31610 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:03

Awww thats horrible!

By NorfolkDude | 2

#31625 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:06

I'm sorry to hear that. This really made me sad if it's true. I really do hope you get the scholarship. Don't stress, there are plenty of scholarships to go around, and you just keep applying and don't stress it.

COMMENTS

By musedae | 0

#31610 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:03

Awww thats horrible!

Reply

slushpup9696 | 12

#1046399 - Sunday 27 June 2010 22:47

I hit YDI because the OP has no life. Honestly, jumping around the room with your mom for half an hour??!

Reply

HDsleeper | 0

#1642726 - Wednesday 3 November 2010 5:45

I also agree that that is HORRIBLE.

Reply

Stonedmanalex | 0

#3352258 - Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:17

lmao 59 os on fml

By TheOrpheus | 0

#31616 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:04

wow that sucks

By aqua__marine | 0

#31623 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:06

that's so sad I'm sorry :(

By NorfolkDude | 2

#31625 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:06

I'm sorry to hear that. This really made me sad if it's true. I really do hope you get the scholarship. Don't stress, there are plenty of scholarships to go around, and you just keep applying and don't stress it.

Reply

Itsukikurosagi | 0

#2608739 - Friday 3 June 2011 0:18

there aren't plenty to go around if you live in Singapore. D:

Reply

MikeonFML | 17

#5709989 - Wednesday 9 October 2013 21:05

There's no way he'll get the scholarship... He got rejected lmao

By slutmuffin | 0

#31638 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:09

Wow, that really does suck - i'm sorry.

By blacklagoon_fml | 0

#31657 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:14

100% FML. Ouch.

By mf_fml | 0

#31664 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:17

oh, christ. sorry.

By fcbarcafan19 | 0

#31669 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:21

holy geezus are you kidding me?
wowww that is such an unfortunate coincidence.
110% fml.
my condolences.

By locasocha | 0

#31687 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:28

who the heck says "you deserved that"? it makes no sense!

oh well, best of luck to you. i feel so sorry for you

Reply

splash69_fml | 14

#5907323 - Monday 7 April 2014 7:44

They probably pressed it by accident

By Kassad_fml | 0

#31706 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:43

Ouch ouch... that does sucks biiig.