Health: Hygienic

Hygienic

By imfullthanks - 14/03/2009 23:06 - Norway

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 658

You deserved it 7 656

Health

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Same thing different taste

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 22:03 - Iceland - Akranes

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 246

You deserved it 27 784

Have you heard the news?

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 14:00

Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 114

By ToiletTroubles - 03/07/2013 16:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 102

You deserved it 3 122

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 406

You deserved it 8 659

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 071

You deserved it 7 177

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 12 930

Poop

By Roma - 16/06/2017 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 383

You deserved it 540

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 332

You deserved it 3 807

The Bathtub Incident

By Katie - 17/09/2019 12:01 - United States

Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML

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You deserved it 123

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 115

commonsense 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 9:52

so how did the beef taco taste?

fingersforteeth 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 10:16

did someone order the poo poo platter? ha

Comments

commonsense 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 9:53

so how did the beef taco taste?

intothecrypt 3

Monday 1 August 2011 7:14

Probably the same as the first time. Doubling up, I see?

commonsense 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 9:52

so how did the beef taco taste?

grovyle210 3

Monday 5 April 2010 2:48

did it taste good? maybe she need a pee sample too... explains the yellow liquid you were drinking

EvilPotato 14

Monday 9 July 2012 5:38

Sexy.

that_band_nerd 22

Friday 19 July 2013 15:34

It tasted *puts on sunglasses* crappy.

Startled_Toenail 21

Friday 22 April 2016 17:03

YYEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH

kimora_fml 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 10:02

omfg thats gross

intothecrypt 3

Monday 1 August 2011 7:17

check out op's username.

GameDragonEXE 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 10:04

lofl

fingersforteeth 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 10:16

did someone order the poo poo platter? ha

thenormalguy 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 9:22

lmao!!!

palltaru 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 3:53

I did

amirn86 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 10:46

LMAO this sounds like something out of a movie

Seegtease 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 10:58

She was obviously joking. There's no reason for her to describe the plate in that detail. If she didn't know you were using that plate, and she actually DID use a plate, she'd have just said, "I used a plate."