Miscellaneous: Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I...

By CPN - United States

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

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Miscellaneous

Late term

TMI

Skinny issues

By Anonymous - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

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28483

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By Anonymous - Denmark

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

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48650

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By Sally19863 - South Africa

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

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36889

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By anon_smh - United States - Bozeman

Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML

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25398

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By ihaveissues

Today, the handle on our front door broke, leaving us unable to open it. We got a guy to come to sort it out, but all he succeeded in doing was completely wrecking the door. He says he can come back next week. We have no other way out of the house. FML

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3126

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283

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By Josie Stiger

Denied

Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1465

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By Random - Canada - Langley

Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML

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3943

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

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32119

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By better late than never

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

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28210

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By ttsutaoka - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

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56967

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

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By kimm1993 - United States - Chicago

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

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48616

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By FishStampede - Korea Republic of

Today, I was visiting a national park and went for a swim. Afterwards, I needed to change clothes but the bathrooms were closed. I went off into the woods to change. As soon as I was naked, I heard hooves and sixteen people on horseback rode by. I'd stripped by a horse trail. FML

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37866

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By anon - United States - Dallas

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

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34177

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By limeiscool

Today, about to fall asleep, a bug started buzzing behind the screen to my window. Losing my sanity, I punched the screen, forgetting all about the glass. I now have a cracked window and one still annoying bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks

528

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1840

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By ashamed - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

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37020

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By come on man - United States - Sunnyvale

It's the thought that counts

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

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35274

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By singingintherain

Today, ever since my boyfriend has seen A Clockwork Orange, he always suggests that we have sex by asking, "How about a little of the good old in-out-in-out?" and refers to his genitals as, "Yarbles". He seriously doesn't understand why this turns me off every time and our sex life has sunk. FML

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5828

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673

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By itsEVERYWHERE - United States

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

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37000

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By Whatswrongwithme? - United Kingdom

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

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55666

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By samsonity - 15/9/2020 17:02

It never rains, it pours

Today, I woke up knowing I'd done all my homework, so I'd have the day free. My dad calls me into his room to tell me that I have 3 outstanding exam papers to hand in this week. It was summer homework, set by my school's online learning website that I didn’t know it existed. FML

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1295

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I paid a repair man $65 to come to my house and fix my washer. He walked in, looked at the washer, bent over and removed a large steel bolt with a bright red tag sticking out the side saying "Remove before use." He then looked at me and said "all fixed." FML

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10132

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

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31000

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By Mandy - Canada

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

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28719

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By Rain

Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML

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9874

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By NotHungryAnymore - United States - Rochester

Today, my boss is now so comfortable with me that she doesn't even try to hide the fact that she goes digging for gold in her nose through every conversation we have. FML

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18726

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By Jacqueline - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML

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26141

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By lostcar - United States

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

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24754

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By Anonymous - United States

Desperate nan

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

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51204

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By Anonymous - United States - Washington

Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML

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12694

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By Anonymous - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

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10848

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By kylie - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

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33388

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By drano - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier at my job. A guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said "Oh shit I forgot my wallet!" and walked away. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46838

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, I still can't get my ex out of my house. It's been a year and he, "refuses to give up on something special." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2048

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother-in-law announced that she's going to be moving into the apartment next to us. Oh joy. FML

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39717

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By busmonster - United States - Alexandria

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

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17113

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By oxjessiiox - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

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59017

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

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44306

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

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Top comments

By cthulhu1138 | 1

#31649 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:13

I hear locking the door works wonders.

By imlaughingatyou | 0

#31631 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:07

that sucks.. wear fake ones for now?

COMMENTS

By foryoublue94 | 0

#31614 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:04

What's the point of curling your eyelashes?

PokeyStix | 3

#422589 - Thursday 23 July 2009 19:17

When your eyelashes don't curl up properly, it makes them harder to see, and therefore less pretty.

ilovefatcats | 12

#963398 - Friday 19 March 2010 1:13

I thought eylashes didn't grow bak :|

MoNiCa132 | 0

#1474234 - Wednesday 29 September 2010 19:19

some ppls eyelashes grow straight and it opens ur eyes more wen they r curled and they r also more attractive wen curled

hippo1234 | 19

#2297216 - Tuesday 5 April 2011 5:53

for me, I curl them so they don't hit my glasses and sunglasses. not cosmetic, just practical

cjwayy | 22

#5971564 - Wednesday 11 June 2014 1:07

Jesus Christ...

flowerfliff | 18

#6009974 - Wednesday 16 July 2014 19:50

I've read some horrible FMLs, but this one just seems so horrible! I feel so sorry for you

DankNissan | 11

#6625494 - Saturday 11 June 2016 0:47

kill yourself

_Adog2645 | 24

#6669472 - Thursday 11 August 2016 15:09

It's Jason Bourne

By EmilyMarie | 0

#31619 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:05

Ouch, you should break his neck to make you feel better.
Okay maybe not neck.. but arm or something.

marquellauhrig | 10

#5372896 - Monday 18 February 2013 14:56

Holy crap!! That would fricken hurt!!!

dragonrider1959 | 18

#5996688 - Thursday 3 July 2014 19:57

It's bad that this happened but that's an over reaction

By fmlsarah | 0

#31620 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:05

OUCH!

By fmlsarah | 0

#31621 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:05

OUCH!

By happypink_fml | 0

#31626 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:06

omg lmao hahahahahahahaha that sucks ive never seen anyone without eyelashes hahaha
ha!

daniisme | 0

#940283 - Friday 12 March 2010 22:47

I have, he pulls them out in class then eats them..

Grimmerie | 31

#3372927 - Saturday 1 October 2011 12:23

i used to compulsively pull mine out, without even noticing i was doing so. didn't stop until they were all gone. that year sucked.

Kgirl2cute | 6

#4783584 - Tuesday 7 August 2012 15:04

Trichotillomania for twelve years, beat that. No eyelashes since I was in grade two.

By imlaughingatyou | 0

#31631 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:07

that sucks.. wear fake ones for now?

By tastylipstick | 0

#31637 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:09

OW! PAIN! OW.
And wow, that sucks. a lot.
I'm sorry for your loss.

By NorfolkDude | 2

#31644 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:11

It's hair... it'll grow back. Not a fml. Unless you meant it burnt off in which case it might not grow.

Moo_Horse | 0

#1624325 - Saturday 30 October 2010 4:24

ummm dude im pretty sure that HURTS getting all your eyelashes RIPPED off.

Carriah420 | 9

#3955688 - Saturday 28 January 2012 8:51

Plus, eyelashes take a very long time to grow back, especially if they are RIPPED OUT.

By cthulhu1138 | 1

#31649 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:13

I hear locking the door works wonders.

By slutmuffin | 0

#31658 - Saturday 14 March 2009 20:15

Kill your little brother. And then. Kill him again.