Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane.... - FML

By UH-OH - 15/3/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

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Season finale

Delayed proposal

Hello everyone!

By Deconstructed - 19/5/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

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By Hunter Ferguson - 31/7/2018 13:00 - United States - Fort Washington

Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML

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By Anonymous - 25/7/2015 04:20 - United States - Tempe

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/8/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

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By hatethatiloveyou - 10/2/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

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By monochromatic - 20/2/2010 03:13 - United States

Today, I found out that the 20% pay cut that the "management team" took at my job really only applied to... me. I also found out that my closest friend at work has been lying to me about it, and telling my boss everything I say. His pay was never cut. I guess it pays to be the boss's snitch. FML

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By shitballs_911 - 7/10/2009 11:13 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

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By lambeaster - 20/1/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

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By hanzastfu - 26/10/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

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By lilrudegirl - 22/6/2010 02:12 - France

Today, I found out that after working in the same office for five years, I now work with three of my husband's ex-girlfriends. FML

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By Ari - 8/9/2018 23:30

Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/1/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

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By hastobeajoke - 31/1/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, I submitted my 208th job application in less than a year, and went to my 83rd and 84th interviews, only to be told once again that I'm over-qualified for the first, and under-qualified for the second. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/1/2010 06:50 - United States

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

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By parasheeeet - 13/1/2016 17:05 - United States - Birmingham

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

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By Tom - 15/1/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

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By pear8head - 8/8/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

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By ohgawd - 8/10/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

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By olalala2382 - 2/4/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

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By LivingBroke - 21/8/2017 20:01

Today, I signed the lease for a flat that a mate and I decided to move into. About five minutes after leaving the renting agency, I received a text from my mate saying he couldn't move in with me after all. I am now the happy tenant of a large inner city flat that I can't afford. FML

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By new name - 6/11/2012 22:03 - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

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By polkadotpinup - 16/9/2016 17:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got a call from my employers wanting to ask why I had a no call, no show for today. My supervisor reported me for not showing up to work. It's my day off, and also my birthday. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/9/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

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By dogggg - 14/7/2014 02:10 - India - Pune

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

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By just_a_bit_akwRd - 4/8/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

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By hatemyjob - 15/12/2015 00:15 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, after working at the same place for 3 years, I found out that they are not only cutting my hours but now I have to take orders from some girl I trained because she was promoted over me. FML

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By Anonyme - 26/6/2015 00:40 - France - G?anges

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

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By scaredofhedges - 7/1/2013 10:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

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By robbedonCTA - 22/9/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

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By getslostinherownhouse - 14/4/2009 19:12 - Spain

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

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By Soon2beexhr - 5/2/2018 15:00

Today, my boss tested a candidate for my current position while I was out of the office. How did I find out? I work in HR and the test results were sent to my email. The reason I was out was to have emergency surgery. Now I get to recover and job search at the same time. FML

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By Albert06 - 14/3/2011 21:26 - France

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2009 05:51 - United States

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

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By drew_ar85 - 20/3/2010 16:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

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By Somethingtoworryabout - 26/10/2018 22:00

Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML

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By Ishowet - 31/5/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

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By HotACE - 22/4/2011 05:08

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

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By annonymous - 28/2/2010 06:31 - France

Today, I went skinny dipping with a few friends at my friend's house. It was really fun until one of my friends shrieked, saying there were bugs in the pool. Everyone jumped out and looked at her. Turns out the "bugs" she saw was my body hair. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 23:29 - United States

Today, my fiancé — a top chef — called me at work to make sure I would be home on time for the extra special dinner he'd prepared for me. The occasion, as I later discovered, was the end of our engagement. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/3/2020 03:00

We're up all night to not get some

Today, I must be the only woman on the planet with a boyfriend who turns down sex because he feels like he’s got a headache coming. FML

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Top comments

By ninjaxprincess89 | 0

#32719 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:23

the who is rock n roll.
not punk.
and if you're someone that listens to miley cyrus and thinks the who is punk he probably wouldn't have been interested in you anyway.

By JDtMG | 0

#32710 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:13

punk guys HATE The Who anyway.
better luck next time.

COMMENTS

By JDtMG | 0

#32710 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:13

punk guys HATE The Who anyway.
better luck next time.

Reply

thirdbase1733 | 0

#896529 - Saturday 27 February 2010 6:56

try some green day or nirvana or the ramones

Reply

anonhxc | 0

#920444 - Sunday 7 March 2010 3:38

dude. you're so full of shit, The Who were the godfathers of punk.

Reply

MagnoliaFrog | 0

#947591 - Sunday 14 March 2010 23:54

ydi for being a poser

Reply

mwz777 | 0

#968820 - Friday 26 March 2010 22:49

YDI for liking Miley Cyrus. And The Who isn't punk but they are kind of close. in a way

Reply

Atmaster | 3

#990721 - Tuesday 11 May 2010 4:55

the who are rock and roll or classic rock
and you fail for having miley Cyrus on your comp
punk is more like greenday or nirvana
dumbass

Reply

My2864 | 1

#1068889 - Wednesday 7 July 2010 1:39

omg fuck off with green day thats not even rock its just gay
and yeh the who really sucks

Reply

Endless | 0

#1072588 - Thursday 8 July 2010 2:35

um idk what you are thinking but nirvana is grunge rock or could be classified as alternative

Reply

rallets | 22

#1187468 - Wednesday 4 August 2010 13:32

green day sucks

Reply

TheMaine_Fan | 0

#1282959 - Sunday 22 August 2010 7:48

the who is who? stupid but true have NO idea who they are and Miley Cyrus is a beast everyone would complain about bubblegum pop but now she's the one branching out from it and I LOVE it. and im a straight guy

Reply

XFlyingxPiranhaX | 0

#1287778 - Monday 23 August 2010 3:52

The Clash. 'Nuff said.

Reply

six6six6six6 | 0

#1292594 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 3:22

^This.

Also, the Sex Pistols. And Crass.

Reply

ja4 | 0

#1293291 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 4:45

best picture ever

Reply

jetpackweasel | 0

#1762685 - Sunday 28 November 2010 8:52

as a "punk guy" i agree

Reply

nerdygirl2261 | 0

#1783691 - Thursday 2 December 2010 15:35

ahaha op ydi for liking Miley Cyrus! she sucks that guy would like green day or three days grace not the who they were classic rock nd roll

Reply

claiiire_fml | 17

#1888082 - Saturday 25 December 2010 3:05

169 is a queer

Reply

ceddyz17 | 10

#2304878 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 18:57

dead kennedys all the way

Reply

farhad55 | 1

#2646880 - Thursday 9 June 2011 8:21

who the fuck would consider this an FML?

Reply

ledzeppelingirl | 0

#3195137 - Sunday 28 August 2011 15:11

Led Zeppelin is awesome.

Reply

soupisyummy | 13

#4030563 - Monday 13 February 2012 22:06

Next time play some Minor Threat or Strung Out(x

Reply

taradeborde87 | 3

#4347507 - Tuesday 24 April 2012 6:51

Are you serious #177!? Three Days Grace is 'pink's?! And people keep saying Nirvana. Nirvana was grunge.

Reply

gracevet88 | 0

#4593133 - Thursday 21 June 2012 3:02

The clash sings rockin the casbah. That's NOT punk. Try korn

Reply

shelbyj | 6

#5152912 - Thursday 15 November 2012 21:39

Rancid, misfits.

Reply

Pwn17 | 25

#5617991 - Thursday 8 August 2013 5:12

Rock the casbah was ONE non punk song(new wave instead), and what the hell?! Korn? Really? That's freaking nu metal. You clearly have no idea what punk is 202.

Reply

ayshafrodo | 15

#5753269 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 15:45

KORN?? You're an idiot.

By ninjaxprincess89 | 0

#32719 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:23

the who is rock n roll.
not punk.
and if you're someone that listens to miley cyrus and thinks the who is punk he probably wouldn't have been interested in you anyway.

Reply

sexyReDD | 0

#512798 - Tuesday 25 August 2009 3:08

true indeed

Reply

Thabb | 0

#987084 - Sunday 2 May 2010 0:49

 Sucka!!!!

Reply

MarioandSonic | 8

#2749428 - Friday 24 June 2011 15:18

well it's a party in the f*****g USA then.

By NatsaPanda | 0

#32720 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:24

That's why you don't have Miley Cyrus on your ipod in the first place.

This isn't really FML. It's a little embarrasing. But total FML? Not really.

Reply

shadowkiss13 | 0

#757737 - Wednesday 6 January 2010 4:20

mm-hmm it wouldve been an fml if he said "omg! howd you know i love her?!" and took ur ipod and began scrolling through your miley cyrus songs

Reply

EatUrGreens | 20

#6315072 - Tuesday 9 June 2015 8:33

If she likes Miley Cyrus I don't see why she shouldn't have it on her iPod... She just needs to know her genres really

By tokyooo123 | 0

#32722 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:26

...why would you feel the need to impress him like that?

By TheAntiComment | 0

#32728 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:30

whoever moderated this to get it onto FML, needs to stop moderating FML's

By loopy_fml | 0

#32738 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:40

The Who, huh? Nahh that wouldn't have worked anyway.

By FuzzMonkey09 | 0

#32756 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:55

Miley Cyrus' music doesnt even COUNT.

Hahaha...sucks to be you!!!

By veebz | 0

#32759 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:56

be yourself, idiot.

By Lifeisfucked94 | 0

#32760 - Sunday 15 March 2009 14:56

Thats your fault for bragging about crappy music and having the little Disney skank on your iPod in the first place!
Maybe a little embarrassing but not FML, you don't even know the guy I doubt he even noticed/cared.

By ForestFire0 | 1

#32776 - Sunday 15 March 2009 15:16

Don't listen to Miley Cyrus. That's embarrassing for everyone. Even YOU should be disgusted with yourself