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Today, I had to apply medicine to my friend's spider bites, located on her ass crack. FML

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

#12176888
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (12041)

On 07/29/2010 at 12:14am - intimacy - by GGimabeast (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

#12175151
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (8712)

On 07/28/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by runandmope (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

#12173397
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33741) - you deserved it (4027)

On 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm - health - by dimtsis (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34405) - you deserved it (4895)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML

#12167424
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (4619)

On 07/28/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by 34_22_34 (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work, I was talking to a customer. She kept shaking her head "no" at everything I said. I asked what she was disagreeing with. She told me she has Parkinson's Disease, teared up, and asked to speak to my manager. FML

#12165853
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (7208)

On 07/28/2010 at 1:38pm - money - by RWW (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my live-in girlfriend and I broke up. She told me she can't leave because she has nowhere to go. I'm stuck with her until she finds a job and an apartment. FML

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

#12162115
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (2827)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:42am - work - by HM (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (31327)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

#12158230
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (4449)

On 07/28/2010 at 1:48am - love - by Happy 20th! - United States

Today, I requested two hours off for tomorrow afternoon. My supervisor and manager called me into the office to talk to me about how important it is to be in the office as much as possible. A little later, my supervisor told me that for budgeting reasons, I have to take 3 non-paid days off. FML

#12150388
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25886) - you deserved it (2529)

On 07/27/2010 at 7:25pm - work - by hurikan68 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

#12149322
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (29049)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:15pm - money - by idgit42 (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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