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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out my boyfriends' mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

#7354557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (5346)

On 01/15/2010 at 6:37am - love - by Jumja (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML

#7353752
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35687) - you deserved it (2676)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:49am - love - by TanjinaRubbaiyat (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (3860)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

#7353412
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (5433)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:02am - love - by Rin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

meirasanya's comment : Report him to the police! Stealing from you is illegal enough, but downloading child porn as well! He won't need to worry about bills from jail. It's also safer for children if he's locked away.

See all the comments →

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (3254)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

#7351489
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (7811)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:25am - love - by beriles (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML

#7351107
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27081) - you deserved it (5283)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:07am - love - by hesaidwhat - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

#7351038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (8719)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by RyanSmithN (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (2929)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10751) - you deserved it (16636)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

#7346390
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by RAHrahRAH (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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