Transportation: Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school....

By shilpajayseanfan - Canada

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23208

You deserved it

54462

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Transportation

Waiting for that special someone

Bit on the side

OK, well, goodbye

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44463

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3725

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By Allabouttheporn

Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7918

You deserved it

3246

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By ellieinc - United States - Stacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13913

You deserved it

1381

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By anon - Australia - Salisbury

Today, my daughter asked me if we could adopt a child. I said no, since we can't afford to support another child. She then asked me if she could just adopt another dad instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22004

You deserved it

2121

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By hgirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27392

You deserved it

3297

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By You're NOT getting lucky today hun - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35020

You deserved it

3143

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By Alex - United States

Today, after spending $120 to have a bouquet of flowers delivered to my mom, she called to complain that I had forgotten about her for Mother's day, but also praise my sister for apparently receiving my flowers I sent at the door and passing them off as hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13595

You deserved it

901

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By Project-Mayhem - United States

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33383

You deserved it

5799

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By littledonny

Armed and not dangerous

Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5922

You deserved it

1254

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By henry feingold - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38348

You deserved it

13001

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By lindaf

Today, I made roast beef with mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. My 8-year-old daughter was crying and gagging the whole time, and eventually said between sobs, "Can't you just beat me and send me to bed hungry instead?" I have no clue where she got that idea from. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4046

You deserved it

418

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By Anonymous - Netherlands - Vlissingen

Today, I had to take the train from my hometown to my university for a very important meeting concerning my foreign exchange program. When I finally arrived, I noticed a Post-it on the door: "Meeting cancelled, sick". I basically made a 9-hour day-trip for a half-an-hour walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39961

You deserved it

3680

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50279

You deserved it

3034

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By Bryan - 30/9/2020 17:01 - United States

You had to ask

Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

484

You deserved it

1325

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By IMAWAKE - United States - Romulus

Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39095

You deserved it

3828

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By meow

Today, I found out my boss hired literally the only person in this town who is an ex-boyfriend. I also work with my current boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1540

You deserved it

194

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By Failoffel - United States

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34590

You deserved it

52519

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19521

You deserved it

74859

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By n - United States

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32031

You deserved it

3475

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By raynbowsend - Malaysia

Today, I had an appraisal meeting with the Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said "Well done, Eric". Eric is not my name. She froze, opened a new file and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54177

You deserved it

6708

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45458

You deserved it

6508

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By jumpy - United States

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30538

You deserved it

6525

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By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 14:08 - Canada - Fort Frances

Living in another world

Today, I played The Sims just so I'd know what it was like to live alone, own a home, and have a well-paying job that didn't slowly kill me from the inside out. It was the happiest I've been in months. FML

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874

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By dumbass - United States

Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML

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8671

You deserved it

26151

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By ShittyProposal - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48178

You deserved it

4856

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By badwaitress - United Kingdom

Today, I was working as a waitress at a wedding. I was trying to clear the tables as quickly as possible and decided to place a half bowl of soup on top of the pile of plates I was carrying. As I was hurrying back to the kitchen I tripped and spilt the soup all over the bride's ivory dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52814

You deserved it

27156

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By Anonymous - India

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43835

You deserved it

7093

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By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 23:01

They're everywhere

Today, I started a new job. I was in a meeting, all day, training under a guy. This was the same middle-class-gravyboat guy who has no idea what he's doing, attributes things to false-positive root causes, and is defensive whenever someone knows more than him. I left my last job because of this type of guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1124

You deserved it

191

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By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65164

You deserved it

3780

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By anonymous - United States - Mandeville

Today, my dad read that if you pass gas from both ends at the same time it will create a vacuum inside your body and you'll implode. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21289

You deserved it

1668

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By Anonymous - 9/2/2021 20:00

Your cooking, dude

Today, I made popcorn shrimp. My dog was being a whiner so I gave her one of the shrimp. I guess she didn't like it because she hopped right back up and spat it out on my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

358

You deserved it

620

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By FangirlMess6 - United States

Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3754

You deserved it

312

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By Anonymous - United States

No joking please

Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked, "No martians have crawled into my uterus, then?" She didn't get it, and I had my head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30884

You deserved it

7677

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By Sick

Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5661

You deserved it

4646

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I spent nearly an hour thawing out my car and driving to work in this stupid freezing rain, only to find out that I'm now unemployed due to budget cuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30884

You deserved it

2311

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By Never Been Arrested - United States - State College

Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20227

You deserved it

1274

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By nutsucker - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

57417

You deserved it

10841

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49652

You deserved it

4106

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By ripped off and blown out

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4628

You deserved it

473

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By Anonymous - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3760

You deserved it

6165

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Top comments

By Jason_fml | 0

#6573 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 20:02

Maybe it's God's way of telling you you need glasses.

By such_is_life_fml | 0

#6637 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 22:19

Haha, I heard that somebody drove into MY school today too!!
Don't suppose you live in Doylestown?

COMMENTS

By I_love_BOAD | 0

#6572 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 20:02

Hilarious!

kmi123pink | 0

#446272 - Saturday 1 August 2009 1:49

Your my heeero!

pepsie_fml | 0

#915470 - Friday 5 March 2010 2:26

awesome. u rock

albert17 | 0

#924486 - Monday 8 March 2010 8:09

that was you?! frickin woke me up during history

zezjo | 3

#977405 - Saturday 10 April 2010 19:54

lmfao

calebg23 | 0

#983639 - Thursday 22 April 2010 13:36

it is hillarious! this wins

piepieburger | 0

#1439824 - Wednesday 22 September 2010 6:31

"sorry I'm late, mrs flannigan"

jonan1212 | 5

#1496889 - Monday 4 October 2010 13:17

LOFL

236schertzi | 1

#2746377 - Friday 24 June 2011 4:26

haha lol

drdingus | 27

#4076872 - Thursday 23 February 2012 12:27

That made me lol

starbucksguy | 16

#4424629 - Saturday 12 May 2012 15:26

Talk about being lazy...could you have parked any closer?

By Jason_fml | 0

#6573 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 20:02

Maybe it's God's way of telling you you need glasses.

frannytrois64 | 0

#465020 - Friday 7 August 2009 4:03

Maybe it's God's way of telling her to stop driving.

Cjw1220 | 0

#1340321 - Friday 3 September 2010 0:09

Maybe god doesn't exist and you should shut up.

xAllygator | 1

#1407206 - Wednesday 15 September 2010 8:49

That was really lame, #73.

poiuytjfffc | 0

#1662254 - Sunday 7 November 2010 14:21

Ya 73, chill

colliebuddz420 | 7

#4216248 - Monday 26 March 2012 4:32

Maybe it's gods way of saying women shouldn't drive :P

By Chickmechanic69 | 0

#6579 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 20:17

smooth

By moig_fml | 0

#6589 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 20:37

i really wish people would elaborate on these...

By karmaking | 0

#6605 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 20:58

Hahaha!

By Dr_Phil | 0

#6607 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 21:06

Anyone need a blowjob? Only gay guys please.

tehhboss | 6

#5057746 - Friday 19 October 2012 2:51

Wtf?

eddeeezzyy | 19

#5792795 - Sunday 15 December 2013 9:20

This FML. Not a sex site, ya cunt.

By Silas_fml | 0

#6615 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 21:23

Every student's waking wet dream.

By PureGold | 0

#6630 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 22:00

Oh no!! :(
But we could use a little more info lol...

By such_is_life_fml | 0

#6637 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 22:19

Haha, I heard that somebody drove into MY school today too!!
Don't suppose you live in Doylestown?

By adelaide_evening | 0

#6668 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 23:11

Well, did you make it on time?