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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

#12248112
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9896) - you deserved it (75604)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by manicmandy - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9306) - you deserved it (79541)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, while tubing down the river, we stopped for lunch. I accidentally left my shoes on the sand when we left. I had to walk two miles through dense woods with no trail and no shoes. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46055) - you deserved it (5700)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML

#12242096
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31978) - you deserved it (2761)

On 08/01/2010 at 6:38am - misc - by Rawr (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37653) - you deserved it (12223)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML

#12239947
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (6680)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Nuttree (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

#12239634
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32504) - you deserved it (5452)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Chimychunga (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

#12237713
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15218) - you deserved it (32149)

On 08/01/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by tbeemcgeebee - United States (New York)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (12814)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML

#12236512
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:10am - health - by lonely (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

#12234488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (3342)

On 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm - love - by XxHinkaixX (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

#12231784
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16781) - you deserved it (40494)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by Beaten (woman) - United States (Alaska)



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