By manoloonfire - 21/12/2020 15:04 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo Thanks, dad Today, I'm a MD who graduated with honors. I can't work right now because I'm preparing myself for the medical residence exam. I want to be a cardiovascular surgeon. My dad is ashamed of me and treats me like shit, because I don't work and I'm 26 years-old, living with my parents while I'm studying. FML I agree, your life sucks 1097 You deserved it 74 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eaglesmile - India - Mumbai Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML I agree, your life sucks 29243 You deserved it 8604 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kinkyapparently - United States - San Juan Capistrano Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over a dog toy. Instead of telling the doctors what happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 23792 You deserved it 2454 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nottelling7012 - Australia Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML I agree, your life sucks 26937 You deserved it 4388 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By S4L - France Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML I agree, your life sucks 50697 You deserved it 23334 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oww - United States Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML I agree, your life sucks 30127 You deserved it 3359 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Hudsonville Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML I agree, your life sucks 21915 You deserved it 1777 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ToddlersWife - United Kingdom - Reading Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML I agree, your life sucks 49173 You deserved it 6078 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I figured out my boyfriend gets out of jail in less than six months. First off, I have a boyfriend in jail. Second, I also realized I'd much prefer he stay in than get out. FML I agree, your life sucks 900 You deserved it 1760 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Electronotfriend - Poland Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML I agree, your life sucks 57151 You deserved it 4661 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fairy31 - United States Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML I agree, your life sucks 40009 You deserved it 2285 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tina He is proud of the duration Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well, penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML I agree, your life sucks 2650 You deserved it 271 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tardspawn - United Kingdom - Horsham Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML I agree, your life sucks 33485 You deserved it 3960 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oww - 14/5/2020 08:02 Trust Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML I agree, your life sucks 2008 You deserved it 313 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dan - 13/8/2020 17:01 Unloved Today, I found out that all of the times my mom told me that she was busy out of town wasn’t due to work, it was that she was going on vacations with her boyfriend and his kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 1483 You deserved it 99 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hantavirus - United States Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML I agree, your life sucks 58785 You deserved it 11347 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my dog got out and ran off at 8 p.m., so I had 11 friends and family looking in the freezing cold night for it until 11:30 p.m. Turns out, the dog was locked in the garage the whole time. FML I agree, your life sucks 1006 You deserved it 1204 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Photos - United States Today, after I got home from school I went to my room to find the maid had cleaned it, also to find a bag labeled "trash" it was all the sketches and paintings I had done in art class, which is my major plan for college. FML I agree, your life sucks 48624 You deserved it 4674 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By squirrels69ing - United States Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 47655 You deserved it 6206 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "mbrider" Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML I agree, your life sucks 6732 You deserved it 256 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noway - Singapore Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML I agree, your life sucks 39922 You deserved it 7048 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By straightlyconfused - Australia - Brisbane Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML I agree, your life sucks 23178 You deserved it 2589 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FrozenD - Canada Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML I agree, your life sucks 35584 You deserved it 2249 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Coolios - United Arab Emirates - Dubai Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML I agree, your life sucks 63745 You deserved it 3888 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mn051299 - Switzerland - Richterswil Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 20273 You deserved it 3721 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous1 - United States Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 49553 You deserved it 10935 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WOWreally - United States Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML I agree, your life sucks 40880 You deserved it 12055 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stillshakinggd - United States Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML I agree, your life sucks 23353 You deserved it 2703 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night. So I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. Thats when he said, "you have lettuce in your teeth." FML I agree, your life sucks 16789 You deserved it 47663 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Adrian Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML I agree, your life sucks 49154 You deserved it 5328 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LittleSprout - Australia - Melbourne Today, I was buying veggies with my five-year-old. She saw some brussel sprouts and begged me to buy them. I thought there was no way she'd like them, but I do, so I got them. Later, she was sitting on the couch eating them raw like candy. I have a weird kid. FML I agree, your life sucks 4755 You deserved it 1166 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML I agree, your life sucks 21758 You deserved it 67154 399 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unlucky - United States Trial and mainly error Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 46489 You deserved it 4508 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chiiii Today, I got home from working abroad for 8 months and opened my post. I'm being taken to court over 3 parking tickets my mum didn't tell me she'd gotten using my car. If we lose, my credit score is affected for 6 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 4217 You deserved it 287 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Randolph - United States - Saint Petersburg Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 26543 You deserved it 4913 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML I agree, your life sucks 24173 You deserved it 26753 258 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Roommate - United States - Olympia Today, my new roommate sent me a picture of our toothbrushes bristles touching with the caption "Look! I made them kiss!" FML I agree, your life sucks 11988 You deserved it 926 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LH0026 - United States Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML I agree, your life sucks 26557 You deserved it 3095 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sorry babe - 29/11/2020 08:02 - United States - Hesperia Lightweight Today, I went out for drinks for the first since I stopped breastfeeding. I underestimated how low my tolerance had become and how strong the drinks were. My husband was stopped by two bouncers while trying to carry me to the car. They thought he'd drugged me. FML I agree, your life sucks 802 You deserved it 189 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ugh - Canada Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML I agree, your life sucks 20931 You deserved it 57367 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wanted_2_want | 40 #7710827 - Friday 19 October 2018 5:13 That’s the tortoise that won the race against the hare ! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7710844 - Friday 19 October 2018 6:50 DAMN so that's how the tortoise beat the hare he ran like a bat out of hell 😂🤣 Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By wanted_2_want | 40 #7710827 - Friday 19 October 2018 5:13 That’s the tortoise that won the race against the hare ! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7710844 - Friday 19 October 2018 6:50 DAMN so that's how the tortoise beat the hare he ran like a bat out of hell 😂🤣 Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, since I've been falling for the girl I've been sleeping with for the past couple of months, I decided it was time for us to talk about making things... I agree, your life sucks 21 You deserved it 31 2 Comments
Today, I'm in love with my best friend, while also being in love with my wife. I know he has feelings for me too. I wish my wife was poly too. FML I agree, your life sucks 113 You deserved it 375 5 Comments