Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
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Top comments
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
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Comments (862)
WowLifeDoesSuck 0
Wow, kids are getting smarter.
yaintime21 0
um more like **** HER life for having you as a father.
Secret_Fire_King 0
Glad to see OP has someone responsible in the house to look after him.. Seriously OP, you're a single parent and an alcoholic, aren't you?.. And daughter is pretty much looking out for herself and you, too.. FYL, indeed..
BlueJeans2626 0
I agree with 471 come on, if your daughter is telling you not to drink... LISTEN!!!
pandacath 0
win for 471
wooow_sucks_for_ 0
well guys, he might not be an alcoholic and his daughter just learned some facts at school and brought it home. but he may ofcourse be, an alcoholic.
futtgoredo 0
I don't see an fml heremore like a smart kid
1zinzanzin 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
bag guys how many alcaholics have a 7 year old daughter that is that smart and she has probaly seen some advert I mean I'm 13 I drink
pepsie_fml 0
ydi for drinking
princes1323 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ur a horrible person why would u do that when ur daughter is so worried about u great parent
megissocool 0
ydi for not caring about ur kids. if your seven year old daughter cares enough about you and your health to write a note to remind you not to drink, what a terrible parent you are to just ignore her and do it anyway. imagine if it got worse and you had to go to rehab or something. that would be VERY tramatizing for your little girl
agentibe 0
I don't understand how you can all just assume he's a ****** up alcoholic. Maybe he just enjoys a beer after work and his daughter learned something new at school?
jacqueline101 0
Yea ur lucky to have such a smart and caring kid u should listen to her
RachelTheLoser 0
I actually find this kind of cute. I can so see this in an under the influence comercial?
laxerbra 0
yes muther crack corn
devinashley 0
it doesn't matter whether he's an alchoholic or not, he's a jerk for not listening to his kid. I don't think she learned that at school. if she notcies how much you drink then aomethings wrong right? listen to your kid. it's not a fyl that's and f your daughters life. ydi
jenniferxxlou 0
I agree with like 3:4 the people here **** her life. u suck
getwild 0
ur obviously addicted to alcohol
dudester1 0
549 that's called an acoholic
Sunset_Taco 0
537 is either Russian or redneck.
thatonek1d 0
540 said it all
roobz_fml 0
aww that's sweet that your daughter cares. too bad you don't care enough to quit for her.
ZleveL 0
LOL RayWilliamJohnson would love you! especially if your daughter was adopted and had squiral aids
woofis 0
y all the asumations? he was just getting a drink doesn't mean he is an alchoholic
brit8741 0
537, you're not cool. You're stupid.
wmertz15 0
that kids freakin smart. I should do that to my mom and her smoking
Katana9990 3
you need to learn when enuf is enuf
Cjw1220 0
OP isn't a great dad. Your kid rules!
DomoCullen 0
stop drinking, it's worth it to make ur kids happy
hollywoodg 0
yea ik man tht was pretty good
dogdog456 0
or mother?
manw 3
****. fydl, not yers.
khadijah32594 3
hey she cares about u enought to say that
mooshibear140 4
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE FATHER!!! YDI for being an alchohalic.
funny1234 0
want drink with me
jaja12345 0
and that's what makes u a moron.
Sickkid97 5
awww
mrcloudy 0
if your family has become that worried perhaps you should pull back a little on the sauce huh? wake up call time.
zinoxity 23
612 I saw awwwwe too. :)
GGTM0710 0
awww she's sounds soo sweet... AND U DONT!! WTF! ur a single parent, and her dad, and ur an alcoholic!!! poor girl. AND UUUU SHOULD BE ASHAMED
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
she shouldve put a note on the can saying ima butch slap u if u open tht
GrahamAker 3
drink whatever you want OP. if your an alcholic thts your choice. just don't hurt the kid. maybe before the kid judges she should have some too try. Granted beer will taste bitter, wine will be just fine. my personal opinion.
TheTAJ 1
537 thinks hes cool for not having a futue
nerdking21 10
An alcoholic is not someone who enjoys an occasional drink. If that were so, then my whole family would be alcoholics. If you are drinking to the point of getting drunk on a regular basis, then you have a problem. But enjoying couple of beers or some wine with dinner does not make you an alcoholic.
steveakafranxy 7
did 703 seriously just suggest that you let a 7 year old try alcohol? what's wrong with you?
steveakafranxy 7
did 703 seriously just suggest that you let a 7 year old try alcohol? what's wrong with you?
thomas357 0
hey612 you look like a fag
brunettegurly 0
you need to learn how to spell
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
607- see what it has done to your grammar?
poler10 0
assf
fml98kevin 4
yepp
marie_1203 0
Do you have a problem ? You're weird.
kitkatt978 5
wooooooooow. shes 7. if she's telling her dad to stop theres no way in hell she would drink. even wine.
loserman67 35
I hope he thanked her
meenahboo96 3
forreal, that child is smart.
fugachumi 0
Your retarded
elliee2llie 0
So did you quit drinking
BradenLock 4
You seem drunk now, actually. Great grammar. 13? Really? Drinking makes you cool then? Yeah, it'll be cool alright when you're like OP and your 7 year-old daughter is having to be the responsible one.
ThatGuyRory 9
Has anyone ever considered that there are major problems residing within the family? I wouldn't blame him if something as devastating as the mother passing away had taken place.
FMlbeast1 0
O
YeaWhoFMLitsme 7
I think redneck...
JenniferTheDark 0
Which explains your horrible spelling and grammar. Hope you like being a minimum-wage frycook.
doonerz 0
wow, have a great time killing your brain cells at such a young age!
skibblesx 4
You sound like a road to failure.
kprando25 8
556- erm what the hell?
houstonderek 3
Yep, it's quite possible that her teacher said something that may have inferred that anyone who has any amount of alcohol is an alcoholic, or, perhaps, the daughter, being seven, doesn't have the perspective to understand that what she learned doesn't apply to everyone. There isn't nearly enough information in this FML to assume that he's a raging alcoholic or that his daughter is wise beyond her years.
23musiclover 3
537- You seem like you have a bright future ahead of you, judging from that
PinkieKeen 20
Haha, that note obviously surprised you.
fmyluff 7
If your seven year old kid wrote a note telling you to never watch television again you would be terrible for not listening. Just terrible.
Toasty283 8
-602. Did you just call a 7 year old a ****? She's only looking after her father and hoping he doesn't have mental issues so she doesn't follow in his path. And 537, you're stupid for throwing your whole life away for some drinks. Why not wait like most civilized adults here? I'm 13 and even I think you're an incompetent adolescent.
MichaelMcSexy 9
Go home.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
#563 Yep. Having one beer a day makes you an alcoholic. Totally makes sense.
Irishopoly19 9
Clearly your brain cells are dying rapidly considering you can't for a sentence correctly or spell correctly. There are actual children that young that are as smart as OP's daughter. I bet you think it's cool to drink too huh? -_-
ExiledRemixx 13
You gotta be really stupid and a real loser to say messed up shit like that.
bigwiensch 15
Your so cool for drinking when you were 13
lovely_mess3 15
I dont think its fair to call him (OP) a bad parent because he enjoys a cold one every now and again. I agree your children come first that being said everyone is entitled to have some me time. the fact that you are so quick to judge the guy with the little information youre given seems absurd. note he very well could be a horrible parent. i just dont think you can make that assumption based on what he said.
HighasaCloud 46
#549 - I don't understand how you can assume it even has anything to do with alcohol. What if OP drinks diet soda constantly and his daughter doesn't want him to get diabetes from all that sugar or brain damage from all that aspartame?
Slasher2977 19
"Keep out of reach of children" must have been lost on this person.
theoreoslive 6
471, you got it all right
thatawakwardgirl 9
You probably don't and want to be cool and if you do maybe your parents should watch their kid better! When me and my buddies stole a beer when we were your age our dads beat our ass
thatawakwardgirl 9
Quite frankly if she notices and it bothers her he should still stop
chitochito 17
Wow, that's a ton of likes. Too bad I'm not American because I'd be proud if I was that I got the 1776th like.
SneakySlayer 15
Wait you drink and you 13?!
zealove 7
Why you think OP is male?
f_ckerdef_ck 0
hahaha, nice kid.
fsebastianslife 0
wow, are people really THAT retarded? people keep commentin that "non-alcoholic beer has only a little alcohol." IT'S CALLED "non-alcoholic" FOR A REASON!!! if it had only a little alcohol, it would be called "only-a-little-alcoholic." please ppl, use common sense...
Hbkbryan 0
non alcoholic beer still has alcohol in it just hardly any, it would take you around 40 non alcoholic beers to get drunk... go watch manswers and mabye you will learn something dumbass
TheOS025 0
lol
all4pooh 4
Yup she's one smart cookie lol. He's lucky to have her as a daughter
ritbbehindu 0
what I want to know is, who does he get it from?!
lolmonster34 0
Put the note on a different can and drink that one
michelleJ11 25
720, it takes two to conceive.
effliffe 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
creative lil' bastard hahaha
meelmo 0
lmfaaao !
Alexxx125 0
sure is
firemanrob 0
kids a smart mother ******
Sexy_Lexi_Gonz 0
Love this kiddo haha.
chili_is_good 0
exactly what I was gonna say
auroralilies 0
I had the same problem with my dad. I turned out ****** up, and he turned out to be suicidal. Way to go.
responses 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
boohoo go write an fml about it.
iRawrness 0
That was kinda mean. :(
dudester1 0
536 you're screwed up @ 4 sorry about your dad and 536
kissMyAsss_fml 0
536 is a bitch. I'm sorry about your dad. I go through the same shit. A lot of people do. This FML may be THE saddest thing I've ever read in my life.
Katana9990 3
get over it, people die. if I could I would kill every human on earth but I can't so I continue. ******* ANTI FLOOD
KyriosX 1
536....I think your a bit of a douche
an_villian 0
nigga please
riseagainst8767x 0
I agree
YourImaginaryFri 0
pretty much the same has happened to me but may be worse, but I don't know.
SulfurPlague 0
What a buzzkill.
yoseph4k 0
hahahaha
McKala22 1
haha harsh! but funny!
BulldogHoops 14
Jesus Christ 587
MikaykayUnicorn 36
My uncle died because he was an alcoholic. He didn't die from alcohol, but his death is a story I don't want to explain. But if your daughter is worried, it's time to quit.
greenman_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
For her disrespect, you must switch her apple juice with Jose Cuervo Gold tequila and force her to drink it. Then she will see the joys of inebriation and all will be forgiven. SHE MUST RESPECT YOUR AUTHORITAI
Jujube93 0
I'm pretty sure YOU were drinking when you wrote that. or else I really hope you were joking cause drinking and bein an alcoholic isn't a joking matter. That little girl can really be messed up and all from her FATHER drinking. And I really hope the OP listened to his daughter because it really is so touching that his seven year old daughter would care so much about her daddy to do that.
kally2010 0
some people jar shouldn't be parents !!^ ^^^
RunnerBack33 1
suck my dick hippie
chelseyybaby 0
wow. really? she's seven..
cheerchick99 0
are you inefficient at thinking? shes 7, are yoy stupid? or ignorant? asshole.
allthatremains25 0
you rude, ignorant, bastard. this just shows that some people really shouldn't have kids!!
Drummergirl68 0
wow dumb ass! dnt force a little 7 year old girl to drink! that is abuse! on so many levels! wow stupid ass! what were you thinking! that is NOT cool don't ever say tht again!
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
723-you* yoy is not a word
77777771 12
Clearly you are a bitchy alcoholic yourself and you need to get our head outta your ass and realize that he is affecting his daughter and ruining her life
Skyblu10 10
Clearly all of you are dumb enough to believe that he/she was serious.
Omgpwned1234 0
Wow I thought this was FML, not an app to be preachy little pukes who can't take a joke. This dude was obviously joking. And you shouldn't be talking if your comment to this is "drinkin is messd up" so shut up and stop being preachy on an app for jokes.
REDDIT4life 1
I love you
gibbyguppy 0
Mmhmm
AshWasHere97 0
You are seriously messed up.
karman850 7
Wtf is wrong with you? How could u even think about giving a child alcohol? Ur such an asshole... I hope ur liver fails.
Iamme30069 5
South parl rederance
Dandyboi 7
You cold-hearted bitch! That sounds like something you'd do! And also, how's your liver going? I hope your kidneys and liver fail with your elvis presley looking ass. Sorry about that, that comment just made me mad.
mastercrammer 0
You should feel lucky to have a smart daughter who really cares about you.
SoccerForTheWin 5
Yea I agree but in response to #1 there are lots of FML's like..my 18 year old son asked if I was a virgin...my 16 year old sold his house key for gum...so I think it evens out
hybridstar 0
seriously, you should listen to her.
22cute 17
YES!! If your 7 year old is worried about your drinking and you STILL are selfish enough to sneek a drink you are an ALCOHOLIC! Hello, get help NOW! Go to AA & keep going till it sinks in how mean & stupid you are & how you are destroying your kid's life. I teach kids like yours & it is very sad.
ttqq 7
Agreed. If OP really cared about his family, he would stop.
reesesplease 0
Please, please take this as a wake-up call and get some help!
magga_mus 0
Maybe you should listen.. Or no, you should most definitely stop drinking if your seven year old is telling you to. It's a hint, take it
Dude_fml 0
Your 7 year old daughter knows better than you. FYL indeed.