Intimacy: What the…?

What the…?

By willywonks - 21/03/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 165 294

You deserved it 8 318

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Honey, you've got some explaining to do

By darren - 08/04/2024 18:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 94

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 114

Happy?

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 692

You deserved it 6 828

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 774

You deserved it 4 496

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 13:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 3 175

By ConfusedGirl - 15/12/2015 13:03 - United States - Pittsford

Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 144

You deserved it 2 240

By k.love - 22/06/2010 12:59 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 554

You deserved it 4 361

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 355

You deserved it 6 228

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 696

You deserved it 4 910

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 011

You deserved it 5 368

TEAZO 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:04

oh damn cheating on you the whole time. im sorry im sure u can do better.

summer_spell 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:12

what a bitch. hope you know how many girls wished to have a boyfriend who surprised them like that.

Comments

TEAZO 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:04

oh damn cheating on you the whole time. im sorry im sure u can do better.

jadore_me 0

Friday 7 August 2009 10:58

tht bitch.

ZleveL 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 2:05

rip her **** off and glue 'em to his eyes :)

tellithowitis 13

Monday 25 April 2011 22:33

throw the flowers at his face

sheagstaz 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 4:35

*slap*

zakkyzebra 11

Friday 24 June 2011 10:33

"Just me, bitch- I mean baby!"

mastercrammer 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:07

Agree with #1. I'm sure there's someone else worthy of you and all your effort.

goosemanrocks 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:08

OUCH! i had to read that one a few times to get it. why would anyone DO that!?

summer_spell 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:12

what a bitch. hope you know how many girls wished to have a boyfriend who surprised them like that.

MrsCunny 1

Friday 10 February 2012 21:15

So true

greenman_fml 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:14

sounds like a three-some opportunity to me. you said he was handsome...

chungy92 5

Friday 23 July 2010 15:24

you pervert..

alex_vik 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:15

I wonder what that guy thought when he found out why you were there.

RHK_fml 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:16

Seems like YOU were the one who got the surprise...

soxgrl33 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:21

I agree with #4.

your_boss 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:25

dude dont call ur rival in love "handsom" and ur girlfriend's a bitch lol

stephan18 23

Saturday 18 August 2012 2:59

Rival?.. As if you're supposed to fight over someone who cheats on you, you don't.. You just walk away, or beat the shit out of both of them!

Narutosuns2fan 12

Thursday 11 July 2013 19:28

The guy did nothing wrong if he didn't know about the relationship, his girlfriend is the bitch here,

giganoodle 0

Saturday 21 March 2009 16:29

Is it just me, or do we start to make big romantic gestures right when we subconsciously sense our relationships going down the tubes?

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Am I overreacting? Facebook Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and started crying, begging me to never break up with her, only for her to say 10 minutes later, "I don’t wanna be with you anymore." Then she asked me if she could buy me some pot, and, "Let’s watch movies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 103

The Top

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 231

You deserved it 3 300

Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 141

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 8 528

Today, as I rung up a customer's groceries, he gave me a pitying look and said I'd have a "real job" if I'd only studied harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 962

You deserved it 2 166

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 772

You deserved it 15 178

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 329

You deserved it 3 284