Love: Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend... - FML

By C0olgirl - United States

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

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There's no helping some people

Mother of the year

Empathy lives

By Redhead4life - United States - Miami

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

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By itsnotyouitsher - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

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By Hilary - Australia

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

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By Ah - France

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

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By sally - United States - Augusta

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

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By HereKittyKitty - United States - Carlsbad

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

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By Rick - United States - Spartanburg

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Talk about not getting the picture…

Today, I finally worked up the courage to break up with my boyfriend. His parents weren't able to pick him up for 5 hours. I ended up taking him to a movie to kill time and end on a positive note, but now he thinks we're cool and back on track. FML

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By babbling idiot - Canada

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

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By Anonymous

Great boyfriend

Today, I'm 37 years-old and recently out of a job. As my boyfriend refuses to pay more than half the rent as long as I live here, I have no choice but to move back in with my mom, 8 hours away. My man is quite happy to pay the entire rent as soon as I'm gone. FML

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By Ellowise - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

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By juli - Taiwan

Today, while I was driving my 27 year old boyfriend 8 hours to a Pokémon event, he realized he didn't bring his DS with him. He cried about it. FML

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By wtf - United States - Fairfield

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

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By mishie1 - United States

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

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By fmldailyyy - Ireland

Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML

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By Cherie - United States

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

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By GabsAlot829 - United States

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

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By Mal2222 - United States

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

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By Crog - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2021 13:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Shove it, lady

Today, my neighbor complained that the trailers and sheds in my yard are ruining her view. The same neighbor who built her house right above my property, thereby ruining my view, and leaving not even enough space for a hedge in between. FML

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By worst - Philippines

Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got fired from my job. My boss is my brother. His reason being that, "it would create awkward tension between us." I've been working for him for 5 years, and it's like he's only just realised that I was there. FML

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By crétin-crédule - France - Isle

Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML

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By monkers - Canada - Westlock

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

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By strongjon60 - United States

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

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By AtLeastWeCan'tHaveKids

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years and I received our results from a DNA test. We're both very interested in history and ancestry, and wanted to see where in the world we both originated. It turns out we have the same father. FML

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By MgmEboy - Canada

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

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By neverbeenkissed - United States

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

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By logansowow

Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML

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By lyss - United States - New Prague

Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML

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By yolo is for shitheads - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

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By Anonymous - Switzerland - Saint Gallen

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

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By Alycat

Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML

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By twice-a-day - United States

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

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By macaroni17 - United States - New Oxford

Today, we had a speaking assessment in Spanish class. When it was my turn, I yawned in the middle of a sentence, said "excuse me" and finished my sentence. She took points off because I hesitated and I spoke in English, not Spanish. FML

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By corn - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

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By Chelsea - United States

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

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By Timmah - United States

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

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Top comments

By fleg | 9

#80802 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:47

you're the worst kind of person.

By sarah8909 | 0

#80812 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:49

What your friend didn't mention a trip to Japan to him either?
And he decided to get engaged to you without even breaking it off with her?
And when he saw you coming off the plane he didn't notice his girlfriend right next to you?
FAIL

COMMENTS

By omgitspoy | 6

#80801 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:47

ur own damn fault

Reply

ladypatience93 | 2

#984480 - Sunday 25 April 2010 5:17

dirty bitch

Reply

grace9856 | 0

#1038527 - Tuesday 22 June 2010 1:30

f YOUR life???? I think u mean f HER life 4 having a slutty "best friend" like u. u bitch

Reply

BoCo_fml | 9

#1105197 - Sunday 18 July 2010 5:41

Nasty whore!!! How can you call yourself her best friend?!?!

Reply

lollinda11 | 0

#1115079 - Tuesday 20 July 2010 20:25

1#s right. that's why the devil has a special place in hell just for the cheaters like you. Moron

Reply

americuzz | 8

#1122095 - Thursday 22 July 2010 5:01

OMG! what the he'll is wrong with you??!! it's girls like you that make the nice girls get a bad rep. but I agree fyl. because u have no self respect for urself or ur friends. if u said yes to that guy, I would be careful. if he cheated on his gf for u then he can cheat on u with another skank. plus if he is a cheater h probably has aids or sumthin. I bet u last less than a couple of years and he is gunna leave you alone with 2 children, and one on the way. and u r gunna be an alone fat slob!!

FUCK YOUR LIFE!!!

Reply

berrychii17 | 5

#2227691 - Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:55

i agree with #1 and #446. it is girls like u who give nice girls bad rep. how r u her best friend?? i don't think a best friend would hav an affair with a best friends boyfriend u slutty bitch

Reply

tellithowitis | 13

#2496559 - Thursday 12 May 2011 4:15

are u sure she's ur best friend cuz u are treating her like a piece of crap

Reply

kylek61294 | 1

#2627604 - Monday 6 June 2011 4:10

*Are you sure she's your best friend because you are treating her like a piece of crap.

Reply

Lawlihearttigers | 5

#3502604 - Friday 28 October 2011 7:16

Honestly OP you are a horrible person. You lied and cheated and not with just anyone. It was your best friends boyfriend. How could you?!! And you guys go to Japan together. You are so stupid and so is her boyfriend so you guys are perfect for eachother. Way to ruin someones life! You are the greatest bestfriend ever!!!!
P.s. You should look up Kingsleys "I hate sluts!!!" video !

By fleg | 9

#80802 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:47

you're the worst kind of person.

Reply

22cute | 17

#3539273 - Friday 4 November 2011 2:23

Hope they both dump you. Bitch

By suadelaaa | 0

#80806 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:48

Way to treat a friend. Loser.

Reply

PBaandJay | 0

#1957293 - Wednesday 12 January 2011 9:22

exactly . stupid bitch

By sarah8909 | 0

#80812 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:49

What your friend didn't mention a trip to Japan to him either?
And he decided to get engaged to you without even breaking it off with her?
And when he saw you coming off the plane he didn't notice his girlfriend right next to you?
FAIL

Reply

joeyisinsane | 0

#1019379 - Friday 4 June 2010 23:38

I came wen I read this

Reply

connorfinch | 0

#1024694 - Wednesday 9 June 2010 7:41

wtf?

Reply

momovanilla | 0

#1282929 - Sunday 22 August 2010 7:26

epic fail

Reply

shinzie | 1

#2028961 - Monday 31 January 2011 13:19

FAKE.

Reply

TorturedXeno | 27

#3441421 - Sunday 16 October 2011 19:10

Three things going wrong just so this could happen.
Sounds like Final Destination 5 to me.

By nomadxx7 | 0

#80815 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:50

YDI. It pisses me off that people like you exist in such a small selfish world. All about you. Leave your friends, family and everyone else destroyed in your wake for you to get some gratification. What a friend...

Reply

brainiac94 | 0

#1016651 - Thursday 3 June 2010 0:23

4, I completely agree

Reply

kitkatknicknack | 12

#2111361 - Tuesday 22 February 2011 16:03

you tell em!

Reply

krazygirl100 | 9

#2315991 - Friday 8 April 2011 22:05

yep

By Lauriebug | 0

#80817 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:50

wait i'm sorry, do i see "BEST FRIEND" there? seriously?

By stfuchivonne | 0

#80818 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:50

wow, you're kind of terrible

By basketball03 | 0

#80822 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:51

nice ..y would u do that to ur own best friend
and then go to japan with her
ur a fuckin asshole
u deserve that

By emorockerownage | 9

#80823 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:51

your fault asshole

By magnolia048 | 0

#80824 - Saturday 4 April 2009 2:51

Some best friend you are.

Reply

grace9856 | 0

#1038530 - Tuesday 22 June 2010 1:38

I no... the op is a total abitch. i'm ashamed 2 live in the same state as u, u dirty slut :(

Reply

DeathMaple | 3

#3195625 - Sunday 28 August 2011 17:01

I'm ashamed to live in the same country