Miscellaneous: Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober...

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 003

You deserved it 24 008

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 161

You deserved it 3 489

By ironic driver - 04/09/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 583

You deserved it 4 622

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:14 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 125

You deserved it 10 278

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 635

You deserved it 34 454

By Gg - 23/07/2009 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 994

You deserved it 4 138

Adding insult to injury

By Username - 10/02/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 446

You deserved it 4 072

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 154

You deserved it 53 607

By Anonymous - 26/03/2012 01:10 - United States

Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 377

You deserved it 2 586

By Noj12345 - 25/06/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 293

You deserved it 57 219

Potholing

By limpdick9 - 19/11/2014 18:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 503

You deserved it 7 190

sparda4355 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:51

People... He crashed on his friends couch long enough to sober up! At which point all he was thinking about was his own comfy bed! He didn't look in the mirror because he wanted to get home. It makes sense! OP... Light weight! Never fall asleep first!

Dogmaw 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:14

If you were still too messed up to see the writing in your mirrors, you shouldn't have been driving.

Comments

bcmg44 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:09

Yikes. Always check yourself before stuff like that happens.

keetlover 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 7:43

what did the writing say!? and the cops can't do nothing if it was innocent writing.. unless the writing says ''i am drunk''

scorpiogirl666 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:13

how could you not notice in the mirror? second comment

hellokittywhore 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 10:28

haha nice default pic :DD but yeahh I thought the same thing. wouldn't you have noticed in the review mirror?? YDI dumbass. but I have to know... where was the penis located? cause everyone knows that alchohol + guys + sleeping friend + sharpie = penis SOMEWHERE!!!

capslockisgood 19

Wednesday 8 August 2012 19:08

Car mirrors are not vanity mirrors.

Dogmaw 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:14

If you were still too messed up to see the writing in your mirrors, you shouldn't have been driving.

Taubin 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:15

My brother had the same thing happen not too long ago... The cop laughed as he walked away, and said "You have 'PENIS' written on your forhead" My brother was pissed because the cop laughed at him...

ozymandias_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:17

If you were too stupid or drunk to have noticed before the cop pulled you over, I hope you got arrested. Unsafe driving is unsafe driving, regardless of the reason. I only wish they could give you a 'driving while stupid' ticket.

AntiChrist7 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:19

you don't even look in the mirror wheb you wake up? probably because you're goddamn ugly. YDI

Curtieeeez 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:21

LOL #6! XD But ow o.o

poolshark 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:22

Did your friends induct you to the "pen15" club?

chakrabs 0

Monday 18 May 2009 16:37

Does it really matter as long as you blew below the limit?

Callyn 47

Monday 18 May 2009 16:46

I can't know if you deserved this until I know if you passed out with your shoes on or not. If you did, YDI for breaking the rules of the party. If you didn't, your friends are assholes. No matter what, you should always wash your face in the morning.