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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (7201)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54760) - you deserved it (3834)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

#13144525
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (7523)

On 09/21/2010 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realised that I could see my own mustache out of my peripheral vision while I was eating. I'm a 23 year old woman. FML

#13141247
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (14118)

On 09/21/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38592) - you deserved it (4852)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML

#13139636
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/21/2010 at 4:50am - misc - by teardrops - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, whilst working as a language assistant in Germany as part of my degree, some 9 year-old German kids asked me to please speak English to them because my German was so poor. FML

#13139163
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16450) - you deserved it (22642)

On 09/21/2010 at 3:10am - kids - by themildthings (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

#13138405
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (9208)

On 09/21/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by yourmom - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8777) - you deserved it (78018)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

robc32ca's comment : you sick moron.

See all the comments →

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

#13137584
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10883) - you deserved it (29792)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:38am - health - by meowmeow - Australia

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

#13135872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm - misc - by kdgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

#13132035
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (6746)

On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

#13130715
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (3092)

On 09/20/2010 at 6:11pm - misc - by Uriyahu (man) - United States (Indiana)



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