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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

#8841470
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30025) - you deserved it (4990)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:06am - love - by jonnah - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

#8841387
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39126) - you deserved it (3384)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:54am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (2630)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

#8840238
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (3072)

On 03/05/2010 at 2:50am - misc - by whyymee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 18 year old daughter comes home telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had ICarly happy meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML

#8838699
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (5074)

On 03/05/2010 at 1:10am - kids - by icarlymom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

#8837679
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (5790)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (3574)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (12279)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35393) - you deserved it (2992)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

#8828123
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (5095)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Stephanie (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

#8828114
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20396) - you deserved it (8276)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States

Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML

#8824498
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (15959)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:01pm - kids - by disguested (woman) - United States (New York)



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