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TODAY, I GOT MAH REPORT CARD FROM SCHOOL. I PULLD MAH GRADE UP IN ALGEBRA FROM A D TO AN A. MY PARENTS TOLD ME THAT THEY NEVER EXPECTD ME TO ACCOMPLISH THIS, AND GOOD JOB BUT THEY'VE ALREADY ENROLLD ME IN BOARDING SCHOOL. SO MUCH FOR ALL THAT EXTRA CREDIT AND STAYING LATE AFTER SCHOOL TO STUDY. FML

#6900701
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28445) - you deserved it (3042)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both mah husband an mah father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit mah head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on mah head, mah father-in-law pats mah head an says "I'll go get some salt." fat FML

#6900019
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (8078)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:30am - health - by SnowyConcussion (woman) - United States (Maryland)

PaperShreds's comment : Salt it yourself. Would that be so difficult?

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Today... I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I trid to get off at the exit... it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showd up... the party was already over... so I endd up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (4124)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today , the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in there yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree , an I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me an tell me they plan to sue me fir damage to property. FML

#6897944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (3642)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me , so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow . We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up . The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor . FML

#6896852
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11175) - you deserved it (62674)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, Mah Mom And I Were Going To The Store . I Decided To Stay In The Car While She Went In . In The Car Next To Me, There Was A Dog In The Driver's Seat Barking At Me . Bored, I Barked Back At It Until I Realized There Was Someone In The Passenger's Seat Watching Me . FML

#6896062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8552) - you deserved it (31672)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today I was trying to read a book 4 school but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

#6894688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (5278)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking 4 a date instead of giving me a job. FML

#6894646
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (1938)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Chris (man) - United States (California)

yastardayhila aating a sandwich I saw a worm . Knowing that mah friand always trias to scara ma with faka worms and insacts I bit it to show har I knaw it was faka . It was raal . FML

#6893264
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9709) - you deserved it (29920)

On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grlfriend wised me a appy brtday . Too bad my brtday isn't fir 5 monts . Se mixed up my brtday wit te guy se's been ceating on me wit . FML

#6892202
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37721) - you deserved it (2102)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:53pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, My Boyfriend Told Me Thathen My Nipples Are Hard, He Thinks That They Look Like Giant Zits, Andhen He Squeezes Them, He Imagines Them Popping Pus. He Then Reached For My Chest. Real FML

#6891757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (2294)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by omgboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grlfriand cama ovar to my housa. Hoping to gat a littla action, i startad to maka out with har. Unfortunataly I was waaring baskatball shorts so whan I got an araction all sha did was bat it back forth lika a cat toy. FML

#6890097
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18338) - you deserved it (4670)

On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I startad my job as a waitar. I was axcitad wan my frst customar paid fir ta bill. I go ovar to ta tabla, alf-axpacting a tip. I got to ta tabla and no monay was on ta tabla. On ta bottom racaipt was writtan: "Evar aard of daodorant?" Apparantly I small bad. Tank fir ta tip. FML

#6888984
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10242) - you deserved it (25165)

On 12/22/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by themonkeyman - United States (Minnesota)



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