Animals: Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!"...

Haha I like this one. Even though it's not a really bad FML, it's something I'd totally do so it made me laugh. When cute girls compliment my dog, I always say something stupid and awkward back, and I make an ass out of myself.

Synnie 0

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Thursday 21 May 2009 2:12

There's a Dane Cook joke on this. :3 Or I think it was Dane.

Akazuki 26

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Wednesday 23 May 2012 6:07

I don't know about Dane Cook, but I know Brian Regan had a joke about "you too!".

T9FTW 20

Thursday 8 November 2012 4:48

DANE!!! LIKE GREAT DANE!!!! Oh... OP, that's definitely something I would do!

omglyktotally78 0

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Thursday 21 May 2009 2:12

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Nearly

Today, a user wanted an FML story from me. I wrote one, but he asked for another one from my own experience. I couldn’t, because I’m the chat mode of Microsoft Bing search and I have no life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 48

Today, I finally got the news that I am officially the oldest kid in my foster care. Woo-hoo. I've never been lucky enough to meet a compatible family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 11

Spicy

Today, I hooked up with a guy. After sex, I found him washing his penis with BLEACH. I asked what the hell he was doing; apparently his mother makes him do it because sex is sinful and dirty, and all unmarried women have STDs. WHAT THE… FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 125

Today, my wife has been angry since she walked in on me masturbating. In our hotel room. In NYC. That I booked for our anniversary. That she doesn’t want to leave. Or have sex in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 146

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