Embarrassing, Insects and Animals: Jumpy

Jumpy

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 565

You deserved it 63 588

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Same thing different taste

Panic at the crosswalk

By Butterflyguy - 14/08/2009 17:10 - Canada

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 335

You deserved it 23 640

By tryscal - 12/07/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 278

You deserved it 56 849

By Lala - 10/09/2009 13:40 - Philippines

Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 343

You deserved it 50 272

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 138

You deserved it 12 188

By jamblasticus - 09/05/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 979

You deserved it 6 179

By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 672

You deserved it 62 571

By gabby - 24/02/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 019

You deserved it 32 426

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 577

You deserved it 44 827

By outofluckdude - 01/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 763

You deserved it 3 663

Brain melt

By Anonymous - 03/03/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 29 681

uneekfreak16 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

Are you the same guy with the FML who smashed his own nuts when he got scared and saw a spider on them?

hyper12332 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

haha you little pussy

Comments

timeisindustry 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:28

wow, you're retarded.

hellokittywhore 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 5:25

butterflies are the root of all evil!!!! those sinister lil hevens!!!!! ;)))

danyfuckinheatle 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 2:46

that got their attention.

jazziness 12

Saturday 13 August 2011 18:45

I agree #170 I'm absolutely terrified of butterflies because they're crazy and ugly!!!!

QuirkyCorgiLove 8

Saturday 7 April 2012 14:41

Butterflies are ******* terrifying.

VenomSiphon 13

Friday 13 April 2012 5:45

You may all be glad to know that I now have a girlfriend. I bet when I propose, a butterfly will flutter onto the scene and destroy me.

hyper12332 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

haha you little pussy

Darraghscoot 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 2:36

who pays attention to stamps?

lolfood 24

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:02

What the ****? ^^^

uneekfreak16 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

Are you the same guy with the FML who smashed his own nuts when he got scared and saw a spider on them?

iampunk 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 4:17

LMFAO!

wtfisfmy 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 15:31

HAHA WOW!!! LMAO

Guatican 6

Friday 24 October 2014 4:52

What the actual ****?! XD

ApplaudtheActor 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:32

Macho. I'll bet you got lots of numbers after that, eh?

amateur_ninja 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:35

Did the scary butterfly take your balls?

kalixzo 11

Tuesday 11 May 2010 3:47

what if it was an evil butterfly with laser beams and sharp teeth?

eiji_chan 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:35

Next time pee in your pants when you see a lady bug. Girls love sensitive men. LOL #3 :D

wtrplochica 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:36

Don't worry. I'm afraid of them too... :)

pompompom_fml 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 22:58

here's a possible date :)

hayride1987 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:37

no wonder your available...

deegee12 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:43

hmm. you're cool

withfire 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:46

I'm guessing you had something in your stomach.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 123

You deserved it 19 037

The Top

Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 749

You deserved it 2 343

Today, I live in Japan. I discovered that the toothpaste with the terrible taste that I’d been using for a month, and on which it says “Whitening” in non-Japanese characters, was in fact a skin whitening cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 198

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 013

You deserved it 3 450

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 000

You deserved it 60 587

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 886

You deserved it 2 787

Today, after having saved up my money for months to buy my college-bound son the car of his dreams, I got a phone call telling me it had been totalled during a drag-race. I only gave him the keys two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 257

You deserved it 14 115

Jumpy

Same thing different taste

Panic at the crosswalk

Caught in the act

Brain melt

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