Love: Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles...

By phoenixditch - 23/05/2013 07:13 - United States - Burke

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 808

You deserved it 5 604

Love

Stop talking!

Dementia or hate? You decide

Good kid

By Is McDonald's Hiring? - 23/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was sternly told that if I didn't pass more students, I would be out of a job. I then went to my class to collect papers, and was stymied by how I could be giving passing grades to the 12 of 24 who didn't turn anything in. College students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 159

By pinky - 06/01/2010 18:12 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 497

You deserved it 53 725

By farts - 22/11/2018 17:30

Today, my brother who routinely marred my life by stealing from me, fighting me, and isolating me from my own family, made his hollow AA apology to me so he'll feel better. My parents employ him, bought his car and house, and pay his insurance. I've been in poverty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 321

You deserved it 202

By wtf - 26/08/2012 05:03 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 278

You deserved it 2 398

By SLOMan90 - 26/01/2011 07:45 - United States

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 282

You deserved it 3 762

By awkwardpanda - 27/01/2017 20:00

Today, I performed for the first time at someone's wedding. When the music started, I heard a click. Slowly, I felt my strapless bra drop lower and lower due to my non-existent breasts. The hook on my bra had broken at that very moment on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 786

You deserved it 712

By Too Many Layers - 24/10/2016 18:43 - United Kingdom - Newton Abbot

Today, I found out my landlord has bought himself a new boat. He refuses to turn up the heating to save money. I'm freezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 877

You deserved it 748

By single - 20/10/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 996

You deserved it 3 681

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 449

You deserved it 4 935

Size zero

By Hannah - 27/03/2021 05:01

Today, I have been trying for 5 days to gain weight. Which for me, requires stuffing myself to the point of exploding. I haven’t slept in days because I'm constantly digesting food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 235

By Katelyn - 20/04/2012 17:58 - United States - Folsom

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 546

You deserved it 25 118

By lifebecrazed - 17/01/2013 16:57

Today, an elderly gentleman came into my store complaining of a toothache, so I showed him where the Orajel was located. He then insisted on making a big scene, claiming that I really had the magic touch and if I would just stroke his cheek all his pain would go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 282

You deserved it 2 946

By kash - 01/06/2015 18:14 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 429

You deserved it 3 170

By SantaClaus - 02/11/2013 04:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 513

You deserved it 5 977

By Alex - 29/05/2017 16:00

Today my brother, instead of filming me during my very first musical presentation in New York, took 45 pictures of the sexy trumpeter that was two rows behind me. With MY camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 001

You deserved it 400

By Jack - 01/02/2009 08:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 422

You deserved it 3 254

By notsohappilyeverafter - 26/11/2011 21:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 093

You deserved it 3 742

By Anonymous - 20/04/2017 18:00

Today, my Darwin Award-nominated cousin got himself admitted to the hospital because he substituted the hammer and screwdriver for a meat tenderizer and a knife when he couldn't find the toolbox. The one I clearly labeled "TOOLS" in giant letters to avoid this situation from happening again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 109

You deserved it 307

By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 22:00 - United States

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 096

You deserved it 119 561

The death of romance

By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 09:57 - Argentina - Burzaco

Today, I was swiping on Tinder when the app told me there was one else left to meet. I haven't had any matches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 178

By girly - 12/04/2012 04:06 - United States - Canton

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 52 521

By pimdala_major - 30/10/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 558

You deserved it 39 741

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 821

You deserved it 3 100

By samboob - 01/09/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 092

You deserved it 44 429

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 14:05

Today, I finally hit rock bottom when I broke down in tears because I forgot to feed my cats in Neko Atsume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 641

Long thought

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 734

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 03:17 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 362

You deserved it 3 232

By missclitter - 09/04/2012 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 762

You deserved it 4 040

By onebadwave - 21/08/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 613

You deserved it 46 398

By kermudgen - 06/12/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I was directing a video shoot of a big Christmas show with 750 people attending. After the first half of the show recorded; during intermission, I accidentally deleted the show as people were signing up to buy the DVD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 119

You deserved it 16 892

Baby you can drive my car

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 05:01

Today, as usual, I work nights and sleep during the day. I found out that my brother uses my car and never puts gas on it when he called me for the first time to actually ask me if he could borrow my car, and also to lend him $20 to put gas in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 92

By Emily - 07/02/2012 20:39 - United States

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 361

You deserved it 3 004

Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

By kitty - 11/11/2012 10:10 - Australia

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 957

You deserved it 3 008

Overkill or fair?

By Pineapple does go on pizza - 24/08/2018 01:30

Today, I thought my boyfriend was kidding when he said he'd dump me if I actually ate pineapple on pizza. I ordered it. I ate it. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 122

You deserved it 1 151

By notgivingup - 01/10/2012 03:21 - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 722

You deserved it 1 986

By abonde29 - 24/05/2018 20:30

Today, I got a text from my cousin saying he's gay. I was thrilled and told him I'm bisexual. He later texted me saying that his friend took his phone and said that. He also told all of our relatives. I accidentally came out to my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 226

You deserved it 541

By man2 - 23/09/2010 11:18 - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was unsuccessful at a job interview, and she didn't want to be with someone who "has no future". She's unemployed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 014

You deserved it 4 034

By julie24 - 30/05/2014 02:30 - France

Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 172

You deserved it 46 002

By stuff2710 - 05/03/2012 00:27 - United States

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 378

You deserved it 47 925

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 21:54 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 267

You deserved it 1 878

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Top comments

Welshite 39

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:05

I feel like there isn't enough information here. I wonder how long you knew him and how involved you two were.

WhisperSoflty 20

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:06

Here's what you do: get all dolled up (I'm talking rock star gorgeous) and head over there. Then proceed to ignore him completely and flirt with any other cutie you want. Make that lazy douchewaffle eat his heart out!

Welshite 39

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:05

I feel like there isn't enough information here. I wonder how long you knew him and how involved you two were.

wlddog 14

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:08

Overly attached girlfriend strikes again.

WhisperSoflty 20

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:32

I think in this case it doesn't really matter. Even if they were just friends, he was incredibly rude.

fareith 15

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Thursday 23 May 2013 17:26

He may have been rude, she may have been clingy. In this case, I think she should have talked to him about the visit before actually visiting!

silencebabyy 23

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Thursday 23 May 2013 19:23

#28 who says they didnt plan the visit

bamagrl410 31

Thursday 23 May 2013 19:55

She may have planned the visit to see her new friend again, and he realized she wasn't what he thought she was. So he ditched her. She had her hopes up, he was rude.

dakatabg 31

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Thursday 23 May 2013 22:32

Good one

Padreschargers7 14

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:06

People are going to say dump him, but talk it out with him.

Horsempeg 25

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Thursday 23 May 2013 17:35

Yeah I agree. See what his reasoning was, if it was about you being needy or something then dump him.

cocacola999 27

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Thursday 23 May 2013 19:14

It doesn't sound like they were actually together. Otherwise I don't think she'd be staying in a hotel (he would have probably offered her at least a couch to sleep on).

WhisperSoflty 20

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:06

RpiesSPIES 27

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:10

I feel like that is an insanely passive-aggressive suggestion that wouldn't help in this situation and would, if anything, make OP look like a b* more than anything.

WhisperSoflty 20

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:30

In the interest of full disclosure: I am a passive aggressive bitch. So yes, my first reaction is probably not helpful, but it would feel good. However, I would say that if this guy is really that rude, then talking it out isn't gonna help much.

lulubelles 33

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:36

I agree #17, if a guy had been that rude to me I wouldn't want him anyway, at least this way he'd know he was busted and might feel a little bad about his actions. Plus it's much more fun that sitting around your hotel room being sad!

Corrupt_waffles 13

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Thursday 23 May 2013 23:45

Passive aggressive is the best aggressive. Cause if I wasn't I would probably deck the asshat.

dissention 4

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Friday 24 May 2013 9:43

lol fuckin women, seriously. The sane thing to do would be to try and talk to the douche about why he is being a douche. If that fails, then you just tell him to fuck off and leave. Hitting on other guys in his presence? That's just childish (and typical woman) bullshit.

rahulcool7 14

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:06

How do you know this man, I wanna know his side of this

olpally 32

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:06

What a dick move... go there and pour a drink over his head. Asshat.

MoeT8979 8

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Thursday 23 May 2013 19:35

Wow... You don't have ANY male friends do you?

olpally 32

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Thursday 23 May 2013 20:13

What does that have to do with anything in regards to the fml?? I actually have a lot of guy friends. I fail to see the point of your comment. He's an asshat for not giving her the time of day seeing as how she travelled so far to be with him. He should've shown some class. I stand by comment.

MoeT8979 8

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Friday 24 May 2013 8:48

You have no idea what kind of relationship the two have. I know a few cases of guys living in a totally different state of an X and she flew out to see him despite him telling her not to and in one case she ended up staying. And jus bcz OP says she flew far to see a guy and he left her bcz she coulda followed him around like a stalker.... Blah blah there is no telling what happened, but it's jus like a snitch like you to throw a fellow man under the bus for what? There is a reason the OP says "a guy" not someone I'm dating, not my bf ....

Abenti 8

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:08

Who says that the guy is obligated to hang out with OP? He can do what he wants. I admire him for letting OP down easy.

WhisperSoflty 20

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:34

How about the part where she flew 2000 miles to see him?

lilhellian 26

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Thursday 23 May 2013 18:58

How do you know she didn't stalk him? We do not have his side.

perdix 29

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:10

Serves you right for using your high-school Supreme Premium picture on your online dating profile! In case you haven't figured it out: He's just not that into you.

buckdharma 36

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:10

You just flew over two thousand miles so you must look pretty rough. Don't worry cause the guy is fixing that right now.

CrissyyyS2 22

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:15

So he's just a guy? It's not like a long distance relationship with a boyfriend... why would you fly over a thousand miles to see him.

RedPillSucks 31

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Thursday 23 May 2013 19:48

She gambled and lost.

avapaige1234 19

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:15

I feel your pain. He's just not worth it.

perdix 29

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:24

Maybe he is and she misrepresented herself online. We just don't know.

lulubelles 33

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Thursday 23 May 2013 16:42

It's so vague! We don't even know if OP is a boy or a girl, they could be old college friends who decided to have a reunion or it could be a romantic relationship. Please comment and enlighten us OP!