Transportation: Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed...

By signinept - 18/09/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 288

You deserved it 49 794

Transportation

Mother of the year

Public freakout

Smooth talker

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 221

By sweeeeet - 09/02/2010 03:29 - United States

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 917

You deserved it 2 208

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 06:37 - United States

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 954

You deserved it 56 192

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 08:03 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 113

You deserved it 6 849

By Disturbed son - 16/09/2018 01:30

Today, my mother sent a picture that was meant for her husband. I cannot unsee what I have seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 995

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 06:07 - Canada

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 536

You deserved it 11 351

By icyrebel25 - 12/11/2013 23:57 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 886

You deserved it 5 221

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 276

You deserved it 3 993

By Dejected - 07/12/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 112

You deserved it 4 700

By Eleanor - 06/05/2019 08:00 - United States - North Grafton

Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 127

By Too manly - 20/03/2013 04:54 - United States - Stockton

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 459

You deserved it 4 523

By Kristat - 01/04/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 711

You deserved it 3 369

Finger on the pulse

By alex - 13/03/2016 19:36 - United States - Seagrove

Today, I started a new job as a receptionist at a nursing home. When two men came in saying, "We're here for Mr. Christensen," I paged him to come to the front desk. Apparently, these men had come from the funeral home to pick up Mr. Christensen's body. I was completely unaware that anyone had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 008

You deserved it 1 632

By Ashton - 15/11/2018 13:30

Today, my girlfriend told me I have a doppelganger on campus who looks just like me, but way cuter. She got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 172

Unreasonable

By fml9124 - 10/07/2020 08:01

Today, my company published "return to work" procedures for when the pandemic stops. HQ is in Maryland, I live in Arizona. I have worked remotely for the last 8 years. My new boss didn't know this. He wants me to move back to Maryland or find another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 80

By Anonymous - 19/03/2014 01:07 - United Kingdom - Burnley

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 667

You deserved it 4 888

By thanks gramps - 19/04/2013 07:27 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 724

You deserved it 9 867

By Anonymous - 03/11/2018 22:00

Today, after a long shift, I came home and cleaned my house so I could relax tomorrow. I finished up the night with a soothing bubble bath, which was lovely until the ceiling collapsed into the tub. I can't even wash the filth off because my bath is full of drain-clogging plaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 720

You deserved it 134

By lilipalmer - 13/02/2015 06:44 - France

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 446

You deserved it 3 402

By mallcop - 14/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 738

You deserved it 2 623

By Anonymous - 24/01/2013 01:44 - United States - Waldorf

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 611

You deserved it 6 154

By city_girl - 04/02/2010 06:34 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 986

You deserved it 2 531

By FML - 24/07/2014 15:59 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 356

You deserved it 24 166

By Anonymous - 21/10/2010 08:21 - United States

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 766

You deserved it 38 512

By Ugly - 08/03/2009 08:47 - United States

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 438

You deserved it 10 015

By EB - 06/11/2012 01:01 - United States

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 064

You deserved it 2 400

By Anonymous - 13/04/2011 02:20

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 613

You deserved it 40 912

By kronic1990 - 14/01/2015 15:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 139

You deserved it 4 787

By Peta2nNoMore - 04/07/2009 10:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 508

You deserved it 10 371

By darkman28 - 07/04/2009 05:21 - United States

Today, I was looking at the page of a girl I've had this big crush on for a long time. After getting a date with her and taking her horse back riding and having a picture taken of the two of us I find that she paint shopped me out of the picture before posting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 393

You deserved it 4 532

By popasquat - 04/12/2018 12:00

Today my roommate was taking forever in the shower. I had to pee like crazy. I danced around waiting and waiting. I couldn’t hold it anymore so I snuck out to the backyard to pop a squat. The relief hit me at the same time the realization that our landlord has security camera in the back yard...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 687

By Anonymous - 12/07/2012 16:04 - United States - Millers Tavern

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 323

You deserved it 32 047

By Judgeisalwaysright - 01/03/2016 08:57 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 683

You deserved it 20 881

By MamaMia - 25/11/2018 15:30

Today, I realized it isn’t my 5-month-old son who has the issue sleeping without me, it is I who cannot sleep without him. This is his first night in his crib and I can’t fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 580

You deserved it 611

By Why Me - 12/08/2015 13:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 326

You deserved it 2 856

By CreepyPaperDoll - 05/11/2009 06:36 - United States

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 637

You deserved it 3 941

Say hello to my plastic friend!

By Pandathepilot - 10/11/2017 15:00

Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 553

You deserved it 312

By kittyd - 28/01/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 541

You deserved it 3 572

By anonymous - 22/08/2011 11:04 - Australia

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 524

You deserved it 2 381

By lbailey32 - 04/02/2014 01:30 - United States - Seneca Falls

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 228

You deserved it 4 447

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Stunt_fml 5

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:50

My suggestion.. read the sign. It's less hassle and involves no thinking until AFTER YOU'VE READ THE SIGN!

brkn_hearted 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:48

stupid ass

brkn_hearted 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:48

stupid ass

JStromberg 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 12:28

._.

omgyoukilledkeny 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 16:53

Duuuuude 666 agree. Holy crap holy crap holy crap. It's the devils post!!! EDIT:damn now 675.FML.

prettybadfuckup 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:49

you're just kind of stupid. but i've done worse =)

Stunt_fml 5

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:50

My suggestion.. read the sign. It's less hassle and involves no thinking until AFTER YOU'VE READ THE SIGN!

Apocalyptus 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:50

Come on, you didn't even check the timetable?

KJRx 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:51

fail.

Axiomatt 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:54

you're an idiot, the reason your life sucks is due to this.

Boldmongoose 0

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Saturday 19 September 2009 9:59

All I can say is, well more of an action...*Facepalm*

null_fml 11

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Saturday 19 September 2009 10:12

Well they do look exactly the same from the back, but you should have checked if it was your first time using that bus route, or already known if it wasn't. YDI, unless they removed a stop that you're used to without posting an announcement on it for weeks in advance, which I doubt.