By Mybrotherissatan - 10/03/2016 15:59 - United States - Arrington
The Top
By Sittinginthecorner - 20/01/2016 05:42 - United States - Saint Charles
By qwertyasdfghzxcv - 11/02/2009 22:05 - Canada
Cut it out
By uhhggggg - 02/01/2010 17:16 - France
By i believe in shaq - 19/08/2012 22:28 - United States - Muskegon
By Sleep_lover654 - 07/01/2016 06:46 - United States - Tempe
Sleep_lover654 tells us more.
By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States
Building bridges
By fml - 22/05/2012 23:54 - Australia - Sydney
By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States
By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States
Stealth mode
By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States
By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States
I'm blue dabadi dabada
By Ricky - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada
Chill the **** out, Todd
By itsdezzz - 09/03/2016 23:43 - United States - Hatfield
By soni_miller - 26/01/2016 06:02 - United States - Burke
soni_miller tells us more.
Hey guys! I'm OP, I just didn't log in to give the FML. At the end of October, my iPad accidentally fell on my big toe, affecting my nail and the skin around it. It still didn't heal and yesterday it started chipping and peeling off. It actually didn't hurt when it did. But DO NOT EVER DROP YOUR IPAD ON YOUR TOE BECAUSE IT WILL HURT SO BAD.
Road rage
By Xtine - 23/06/2009 04:44 - United States
By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 17:44 - United Kingdom - Saint Leonards
By forever alone - 12/05/2013 21:09 - United Kingdom
By blah - 19/01/2016 20:53 - United States - Frisco
Whoops
By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 02:38 - United States - Glen Ellyn
By cricketsins - 08/11/2013 03:33 - United States - Smyrna
cricketsins tells us more.
Let me give some details before the blasting gets too bad: "beating" was an exaggeration. I was not literally bludgeoning him with a block of cheese. I'm sure that somewhere, someone has done this. That person was not me. It all started because he and I were picking up a few items and he just *happened* to lead me to the cheese aisle in the deli. I love cheese; he knows this and was teasing me. So, one poke led to a pinch, and all of a sudden my cheese-rage took hold and I was swatting him with a block of cheese. It was all in good fun. We are always joking and wrestling around. While we have both seriously hurt one another while wrestling, it's always an accident.
By Makusu420 - 03/12/2015 00:44 - United States - San Francisco
By Chucho - 01/09/2012 13:58 - United States - Boston
By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 17:27 - United States - Placentia
By ToddesPizza - 20/08/2015 01:00 - United States - Coos Bay
Sorry
By sqquish - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Smithfield
By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet
By ChiefKoala - 22/01/2016 17:05 - United States - Rockwood
ChiefKoala tells us more.
Okay. Wow I can't believe this got posted! So anyway, I do this at home. Like before I go to bed I HAVE to make sure the two doors that lead outside are locked and that every cabinet door in the house is closed. And I probably do have OCD, As I have anxiety and Severe depression to boot as well. For those wondering: I didn't get up and close it for a few reasons. 1.) I didn't want to interrupt him. 2.) I figured he would find it rude and stupid to just get up and close a door that probably only bothered me. And 3.) I have anxiety, so getting up or even speaking in a class full of students is damn near impossible. Also, all of his lectures are also on Momentum (Which is basically how we email our teachers and get all the material we need for the class like the syllabus and shit) so I've already looked over what he taught for today. And to the person who said "i would not do anything, because im not compulsive about minor things like that." That's fantastic. Why don't you give yourself a pat on the back? I live with and am stuck around people who see that as "minor" and don't do anything about it. I know what a "normal" person looks like. I can't help it. I know it's minor, and i know that i shouldn't worry about it or be bothered by it. But I literally can't help it. So forgive me for being different. Thanks to the person who made the "Close" joke. OR if you were even making a joke. Regardless, i found it relatively funny and it made me giggle.
SHAME!
By Poowee - 18/09/2009 04:29 - United States
Dingdong
By Anonymous - 06/04/2009 04:14 - United States
Keywords
First of all, Iwanted to thank FML staff for publishing this, I didn't think they would. Anyway, I just wanted to clear up some obvious confusion here. The full story is, of course my sister dropped off her baby at my apartment. Later on, I had left the baby for her nap, naturally leaving the door open as I always saw my sister do. I went into the kitchen to make her bottle and a quick meal for me. I didn't see my dog near me but I thought nothing of it since he is always so well- behaved. Right when I finished, I heard the baby cry out but giggle, so I thought maybe she had gotten one of the toys. Clearly wrong. I went into the room to see my dog had somehow (do not ask how for I do not know) opened her crib, gotten in, and did...well, did that. I had to quickly pry him off of course but unfortunately, the image is burned into my mind.