Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks...

By soni_miller - 26/1/2016 06:02 - United States - Burke

Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML

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soni_miller tells us more :

Hey guys! I'm OP, I just didn't log in to give the FML. At the end of October, my iPad accidentally fell on my big toe, affecting my nail and the skin around it. It still didn't heal and yesterday it started chipping and peeling off. It actually didn't hurt when it did. But DO NOT EVER DROP YOUR IPAD ON YOUR TOE BECAUSE IT WILL HURT SO BAD.

Health

Boozehound alert

Boom, headshot

Buzzing the tower

By BadgerSpirit - 27/4/2011 13:35 - United States

Spooky

Today, I woke my husband up at 2 a.m., screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally said, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four-year-old daughter with her blanket. FML

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By pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

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By tracelee - 3/3/2009 09:22 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

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By insomniac x2 - 15/8/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

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By Bece420 - 11/2/2019 12:00 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I decided to try a 7-minute exercise video to start working out and get in shape. I couldn’t make it though the video. FML

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By jcdc - 20/5/2012 15:03 - United States - Georgetown

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

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By FunTimes - 19/8/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/9/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

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By firebombtimEFUCKERS - 29/9/2012 16:32 - United States

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/3/2015 19:54 - United States - Wheaton

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

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By Anonymous - 2/10/2009 08:37 - Australia

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

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By BigBallah93 - 5/7/2009 15:23 - China

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

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By fird - 25/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML

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By Username - 13/8/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

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By iamshrimpy - 8/1/2010 06:24 - Canada

Today, I logged onto Facebook with a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML

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By anonymous - 29/3/2016 22:50 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, while riding my bike in the rain to a counselling appointment about my depression, my shoelace came untied and got caught around my pedal, causing me to go flying off my bike directly in a huge muddy puddle right in front of a busy street of people. No one offered to help me. FML

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By thenewgirl29 - 5/2/2015 16:42 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

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By "liisiuu" - 13/7/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

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By pandabear93 - 4/9/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/7/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I got an angry text, asking me why I wasn't at the staff dinner. I've been gone for the last 2 weeks, and I wasn't told about it. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/9/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

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By Anna - 28/3/2012 01:08 - United States

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

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By Emma Five - 14/3/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

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By FlyingWhisps - 27/9/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, my grandparents came to visit. So far, they have called me fat, bragged about how my cousin is better than me, and told me how I'm not good enough for them. It's okay, though, they gave me a pretzel from the airline and a textbook on physics. In another language. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/8/2009 07:02 - United States

Today, I was working in the box office. A group came in for tickets but wanted to pay individually. One paid $40 for a $25 ticket. Laughing, I reached for the calculator while saying, "I went to public school, so I can't do math." They didn't laugh. They were all teachers in public schools. FML

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By hungry - 12/2/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

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By zuut - 18/1/2009 05:22 - Australia

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/8/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

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By lmao4eva93 - 2/7/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

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By Wow - 11/4/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

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By kallens - 15/1/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

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By crazybitch - 18/6/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

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By Deweyboy - 10/10/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML

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By JessicaandGhazi - 9/6/2020 08:04

So hard

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in bed after having sex. I commented on him still having an erection after having an orgasm. He said it happens whenever he has a strong orgasm. Then he added, "And surprisingly, I was even thinking about you when it happened." FML

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By ugly5402 - 6/1/2010 21:05 - United States

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

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By Annoyed - 11/5/2016 01:23 - United States - Panama City Beach

Today, one of my students stole my wallet. I teach kindergarten. FML

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By childhoodupinsmoke - 30/11/2012 03:35 - United States - Austin

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

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By ThisChick - 6/7/2016 17:59 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I cringed at a memory of 5-year-old me going to restaurants I was brought to and stealing tip money because I thought it was free. I got to watch a kid do the same thing to me. Oh, sweet karma. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/2/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, my husband who asked for a divorce four days ago announced his engagement on Facebook. His new woman's profile picture is my engagement ring. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

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Top comments

By Chrysic | 20

#6520401 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 17:56

What exactly happened

By WCARlover | 34

#6520405 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 17:59

Wow, that sounds toetally, disgusting sorry OP!

COMMENTS

By Chrysic | 20

#6520401 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 17:56

What exactly happened

Wizardo | 33

#6520657 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 22:13

Toetality.

cornyrob | 33

#6522308 - Thursday 28 January 2016 15:06

What would be the easy way?

supr_sexy | 9

#6524444 - Saturday 30 January 2016 22:14

and whoxh yoe ar

By irwingiggles | 26

#6520402 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 17:58

That sounds painful! What happened?!

By FSGInsainity | 15

#6520403 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 17:58

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By WCARlover | 34

#6520405 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 17:59

Wow, that sounds toetally, disgusting sorry OP!

HeyItsCamilo | 17

#6520734 - Wednesday 27 January 2016 0:14

nailed it!

By drunkmunkey | 24

#6520406 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:00

remember if you hold the barrel facing down always have it pointing slightly away from your body

The12thPaladin | 8

#6520425 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:24

What makes you think OP was holding a gun? OP could have easily cut their toe open.

thatguy206 | 27

#6520710 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 23:25

you don't get the joke do you?

By MyrmidonQueenn01 | 9

#6520407 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:00

Well the more you know, the more you grow I guess

By Toksik_Kid | 14

#6520408 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:00

What does OP mean

Queensland | 27

#6520413 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:03

On penis. It's a secret code word people use when they're having intercourse and commenting on FML at the same time.

okudatwo | 11

#6520415 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:03

Original Poster.

sureshadow | 23

#6520457 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:46

Oragami Paper. the secret art of folding paper so it looks like cute animals.

EvilTurtle | 35

#6520496 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 19:17

People just don't learn, do they? It means Orangutan Penis.

Pokemonguy | 7

#6520533 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 19:51

It means OVER POWERED

willsnow18 | 11

#6520584 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 20:41

only pussy

Madrias | 36

#6520706 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 23:23

Orange Paste

SteveBassist | 20

#6520721 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 23:36

Outstanding Peanuts.

PePziNL | 20

#6520848 - Wednesday 27 January 2016 2:05

One Piece.

thefaekitten | 29

#6520985 - Wednesday 27 January 2016 5:00

Orgasmic Pussy

dabaerju | 23

#6523054 - Friday 29 January 2016 6:40

Well, I think what the OP was trying to say was that something terribly happened to her toe, allowing her to see the inside of it.

Oh wait, am I answering it correctly? Oh dear.

By KhaleesiDannie | 26

#6520409 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:01

Gotta watch out for that slippery ice

By HoboMeth | 32

#6520412 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:02

Rip

By anyagrande | 31

#6520416 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 18:03

Nice