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you guys, there's a word limit... i couldn't say that at least 500 people looked at me as though i killed someone, plus the officials were all pakistani so i had to translate what happened...then my grandma started shoutin at me for being a fool and Dubai airport is toooooo big...

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

agreeclassic 37 697

vote type 1 4 733

By iheartvodka - 07/11/2009 06:55 - United States

Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML

agreeclassic 37 696

vote type 1 6 718

By Evaki1 - 13/06/2011 14:24 - Greece

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

agreeclassic 37 696

vote type 1 4 586

By Anonymous - 15/05/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML

agreeclassic 37 695

vote type 1 6 945

Double standards

By Anonymous - 21/02/2013 18:45 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

agreeclassic 37 695

vote type 1 2 687

By Charlayyyy - 16/12/2010 02:30

Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to put Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip their facial hair out. My partner forgot to put it on my eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML

agreeclassic 37 694

vote type 1 7 318

By iAmPaul - 11/09/2014 19:16 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

agreeclassic 37 694

vote type 1 7 970

iAmPaul app_comment_confession_title

iAmPaul 49

Friday 12 September 2014 0:40

Hey everyone, Here's a bit more info: It's only the second week of classes, and I don't have my schedule completely memorized yet. I thought my class was at 1 PM, but I realised it was at 2:30 PM. I thought the crowd of students outside the class was pretty different from last week's (my class is a computer class - comprised of mostly males); there were mostly females there. Went in the class with everyone, sat down, waited for the prof to show up. Instead, the prof for the actual class that was happening showed up and she put up the PowerPoint for some sort of psychology class. She looked at me and told me that I'd better get out before it gets too embarrassing. I quickly and nervously packed up my things and rushed back out of the class while feverishly checking my watch and feeling the stares of 150+ students. Rookie mistake, especially for a third-year student like myself. >_

By Girl - 17/03/2010 07:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML

agreeclassic 37 692

vote type 1 5 141