Work: Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left... - FML

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 562

You deserved it 2 607

Stop talking!

Hiding from the drama

Vulture

By kutekittykatz - 10/07/2013 08:58 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 204

You deserved it 14 563

By idontevenlikehamsters - 08/04/2013 00:00 - United States - Manassas

Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 912

You deserved it 2 452

Time to go topless I guess...

By aubrey - 14/10/2017 01:30

Today, I accidentally gave myself a chemical burn. It hurts like hell and I've been told all I can do is wait it out for a few days. The worst part? It's from a reaction to a cream I used all over my chest. I can't wear a shirt without being in immense pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 310

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 09:17

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 387

You deserved it 12 114

Mom knows shit

By Anonymous - 22/07/2020 17:01

Today, my mother-in-law decided my husband has COVID-19, read some debunked articles about how ibuprofen makes the symptoms worse, and scolded me for giving him ibuprofen for his muscle pain. I'm an actual medical doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 107

By Xandriajoy10 - 08/03/2016 11:56 - Australia

Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying 2 minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 562

You deserved it 1 560

By Chessmomma3 - 10/05/2019 01:00

Today, my 18-month-old found our "naughty drawer." I found her carrying a "toy" all over the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 921

By CatLady - 06/01/2014 19:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 147

You deserved it 9 625

By Anonymous - 15/04/2013 16:02 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 125

You deserved it 4 707

Eventful day

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 23:01 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 15:14 - United States - Dalton

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 346

You deserved it 1 889

By Anonymous - 06/12/2012 02:32 - United States

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 611

You deserved it 2 759

By kbeavv - 11/02/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 907

You deserved it 4 784

Science has gone too far

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 22:00

Today, I watched our very clever cat turn on our oven with ease. I now fear for my children's lives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 112

By xXxXxTOBIxX - 22/07/2013 11:49 - United States - Raleigh

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 596

You deserved it 4 573

By 800z - 16/08/2011 06:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I biked 15 km to my girlfriend's house in really heavy rain to surprise her. Turns out she's on holiday in Spain, and hadn't bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 426

You deserved it 4 599

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 986

You deserved it 8 351

Living a lie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized I'm very much in love with my old boyfriend. I got married to someone else a few months ago, who I also very much love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 1 084

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 409

You deserved it 52 123

Good job

By An. - 11/01/2021 15:01 - United States - Denver

Today, after a really bad day, I just wanted to order DoorDash. When my food came, I saw my burger had tomatoes in it, despite requesting no tomatoes. I’m deathly allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 103

By StupidDentist - 20/06/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist to get a filling. Instead of giving me Novocaine, my dentist decided he was going to use a special new paste on me while he drilled. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 887

You deserved it 3 164

By fireenginemad - 10/02/2013 06:08 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 2 162

By cherbear1000 - 17/06/2013 04:33 - United States - Nottingham

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 5 706

By Anonymous - 13/09/2016 02:55 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that my 12 yr old daughter had to get in the driver's seat to order from the drive-thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 721

You deserved it 2 815

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 443

You deserved it 2 496

By shadow1248 - 27/05/2012 05:06 - United States - Stamford

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 870

You deserved it 1 901

By Fuzzy - 08/01/2010 07:56 - Australia

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 101

You deserved it 39 802

Great work, son

By firestar772 - 12/06/2013 06:21 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 742

You deserved it 5 454

By cowgurl91 - 13/01/2010 21:40 - France

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 229

You deserved it 42 281

By babysheets - 17/03/2012 16:22 - Uruguay

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 357

You deserved it 4 343

By achoo-plop - 30/11/2015 01:17 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 534

You deserved it 1 973

By rick - 02/12/2013 21:15 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I held the door for an elderly woman. As she walked through, she looked at me and told me I was a very handsome man and that I should meet her grandson. The woman was my grandmother, and yes, I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 062

You deserved it 3 530

By jordeshting - 22/06/2011 15:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 8 597

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 721

You deserved it 13 775

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 458

Disgusting

By ocdeane - 01/10/2019 22:00 - Germany - Mainz

Today, I noticed a disgusting, cheesy smell and spent all day wondering what it was. I later found out that it wasn't coming from my feet, but from my belly button. My surgery wound got infected. I'm a germaphobe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 246

By upsetandannoyed - 01/01/2012 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 931

You deserved it 3 674

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I attended a job fair for a position at a shop. I was the only one who showed and submitted an application. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 508

You deserved it 3 167

Two sides to every story

By Anonymous - 08/08/2020 02:02

Spicy

Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 125

By pk24 - 25/02/2009 23:46 - United States

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 294

You deserved it 16 539

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 12:21

that is DISGUSTING

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:01

I wonder what goes through the mind of a person like this: "hmm, these new pants don't look as good on me as my old ones, I think i'll take a massive dump in them and wipe my ass with that ugly looking tie"

Comments

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 12:21

that is DISGUSTING

Send a private message

Tuesday 23 March 2010 3:34

fucking AGREED

Send a private message

Sunday 26 September 2010 17:40

agreed, again

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 12:23

YDI, just because your name is g_unit.

Send a private message

Tuesday 17 January 2012 13:39

Shut up.... Just.... Shut up.

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 12:38

shitty situation

Send a private message

Friday 22 January 2010 6:15

LoL [][] ----

Send a private message

Friday 29 July 2011 20:58

wow never heard that one before

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 13:14

You work with a bunch of animals! Speak with your HR department. That sort of shit shouldn't go unpunished.

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 13:45

The 'gift' was probably left behind by a customer who had tried on the pair of trousers. OP, are you quite sure you were in the changing rooms and not bathroom instead lol?

alexandraa_fml 0

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 19:43

My friend that works in JCPennies says this sick stuff really happens. They had to quit putting garbage cans in the fitting rooms because people would pee in them! Wtf is wrong with people!! Someone here recently took did the same in a aeropostale fitting room, and must of got it on her/himself because it was on the walls. It was Horrifying.

averagexbecca 0

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 22:30

Hell yes, JCPenny is gross. I went there once with my friend, and I was helping her choose pants in the fitting room, and then I notice in the corner someone had left bloody underwear...It was so fucked up nasty. OP - FYL D=

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 13:18

Wow, that sucks big time.

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 13:34

Take it to some lab n get their DNA tested...find out who it is then take a shit in their shoes. :)

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 13:39

adasdas

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 13:45

asdasdas

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:01

I wonder what goes through the mind of a person like this: "hmm, these new pants don't look as good on me as my old ones, I think i'll take a massive dump in them and wipe my ass with that ugly looking tie"

youKnowBetter 0

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:09

My imagined scenario is more like... "Damn, I shit my pants! Good thing I'm in a store with new pants. I'll make them a delightful trade!"

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:06

Must be a shitty brand of jeans like Wranglers...

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:10

Or maybe a nice pair of Schmevi's :)

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:15

heh heh... (straightens the tie) Not that I know anything about that...

Send a private message

Thursday 10 December 2009 14:25

No of course not... I don't even have an anus... how could it be me *cough, cough*?

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 3

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 545

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 748