By Lauren - 20/08/2012 03:53 - United States - New Market

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 592
You deserved it 4 156

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You haven't caught on yet? Just don't eat the food.

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Sounds like she needs to rid of her mother for awhile. Perhaps slipping Laxitives into her drinks would work!

Or she could just eat prepackaged food for a day in preparation for her mothers ploy...

No laxatives. Be more devious. Have her committed until you get married so she can't interfere with any future dates either. If she is as crazy as you make her sound, OP, this shouldn't be a problem.

Or! Move. Out. Unless you're 12, that never works out...

Kind of a YDI if it's the fourth time. You've clearly caught on so wouldn't you avoid eating food your mother has access to?

Is it because she is jealous or just over protective? That's just really SHITTY of her! LOL sorry had todo it!

Or maybe she's still in high school and she really doesn't have a choice but to tell her mother & eat the food she makes.

#39 if you had a better delivery it would be funnier, i applaud the effort though haha

26: So you're telling me you can move out at 13? This is news to me.

45-She could eat breakfast and lunch at school and go for a dinner date

38- Actually, OP could've just been eating the food not knowing her mother put laxatives in it, and just thinking she was having bad stomach reactions to the food. OP probably wouldn't have been coming back and eating the laxatives(in the food) if she had known it all along.. Most likely she caught her mom redhanded one day.

It's got very little to do with telling her mother to stop, which she hopefully has; and more to do with taking action against criminal behaviour and child abuse. If you disagree, why don't you take laxatives when you don't need them, preferably before you go out, and then see how you feel. Oh and there's also the fact that OP is stupid enough to fall for this four times.

#153, I agree with the child abuse part. But don't call OP stupid. Who expects mom to poison you?

Well DON'T tell her. And slip her some laxatives in some pot brownies so she can have the shits and be on the pot while on pot until 2am and shell have the munches !

No one but the reason they called her stupid is that it's not the first time it happened it's the 4th time. She knows why it happens and whom is doing it. Unless she just after the 4th time found out then yes putting herself in a position to have it happen again is stupid or insane.

She must want you to live with her forever...

More like: 'RUNS!!!'

That is assault. if it happens again file charges.

OP - Say goodbye to your love life until you're 18+ but even by then your arsehole will probably be in shreds.

96- On your own mother? I have lost all faith in the human race... Good thing I'm a cat!

Yeah, us cats don't really give a fuck.

#115, Yup, charges... at least the clear threat of them, now that OP has figured it out. This is abuse and it is criminal. It's the law's job to defend victims of abuse. Why should family be exempt?

#185- Eh, I'd ask her to stop first. I mean, I wouldn't just fire charges right away... if she continued to feed OP the laxatives even after OP asks her to stop, then I would think it's alright to press charges. But my opinion's my opinion, so.. Who cares about my opinion anyways?

RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!

Have you considered a proper revenge tactic?

Such as putting laxatives in every thing you give her?

Or u could just poop on her food

33- Now I'm no Scooby Doo, but I think OP's mother might notice something strange with her meal in that case.

Have you considered moving out?...

Switch your food with hers... See how she likes it

I suggest a hit of acid in her breakfast drink.

Although depending on how old her mom is, it could just bring her back to the good old days ;)

Next time just lie in her bed. When she tells at you look her innocently in the eyes and say "sorry mom, I just don't know what's happening to me right now"

You haven't caught on yet? Just don't eat the food.

And that's why I voted both FYL and YDI.

Avoid eating anything she fixes or gives you to eat anywhere near a dating night!

OP, make your own food with your own inspected ingredients and make suite no one, and I mean NO ONE, but you, goes near it. And that will be problem solved.

Or, better yet, offer to make lunch/dinner that day. Then, there won't be laxatives in it, and you look like the "nice" daughter who offers to help around the house...and hopefully she won't wise up to why you're making dinner. Just be sure to do it on nights you don't have a date, too, so it doesn't look suspicious.

She's fucking evil! You need to move out. She is treacherous and the only thing you can do is get away. If your in high school then don't touch any food that day that you didn't let out of your sight from the moment you bought it. I'm sorry. She's venomous and some people are like that.

Okay, the mom's mean. I don't think I would call her evil or venomous. I think OP should just not tell her mom when her dates are, as opposed to telling her and then aggressively watching her food. Oh, and *you're.

30 Really? There's nothing evil or venomous about poisoning your daughter? Oh and thank you for that correction! I had no idea that I really should have used you're instead of your! Most people would assume it was a small error but the truth is, I just didn't know. Thank you so much! If it wasn't for you I would have never known!

34- I apologize, I wasn't trying to make it seem like I was attacking you. But by definition, OP's mother wasn't poisoning her. That's why I wouldn't call it evil or venomous. However, I agree with you in that it is still mean. I realize that your use of "your" instead of "you're" was a small mistake. That's why I was correcting you instead of insulting you. People shouldn't get offended by corrections. I get corrected a lot too.

Wow carmine you are sexy as hell! I don't mind the grammar mistake one bit!!! ;)

I love sarcasm! If it weren't for that I would lose faith in humanity. :-D

42, Some wouldn't consider it poison but I do, though my relatives were very abusive to my parents so I am well aware of how Ill intentioned some people can be. Thank you for clarifying. I jumped down your throat a bit, and I apologize. Proof reading isn't something I'm great with so I did miss that. Maybe people shouldn't get offended by them but I don't usually do it. I get overly sensitive about that sort of thing though.

Lol it's not like she's trying to kill her. Your choice of words were quite vague.

43 Thank you! You are too ;). I remembered seeing you post before.

50 What is vague about what I said? If your mother tried to prevent you from going out and having a good time by sneaking things in your food to make you sick, would you not think it an action full of spite and treachery? Just because she's not trying to kill her daughter doesn't mean the intent is anything other than harming her. You should love your children, why would you do anything to purposely harm them?

@42 - If you think about the potential damage that unnecessary laxatives can do, poisoning is not entirely an incorrect choice of words. Something does not have to cause death in order to be considered poison.

@75 I was about to say that. She could kill OP by giving her laxatives. I assume she's sensible enough to give her a tiny dose each time but in the long term that will cause damage. IBS, Pancreatitis, hemorrhoids, ulceration and a fatty liver are all a possibility.. In the short term, if she gives her too much she'll end up with massive dehydration which can lead to cardiac issues and death. Anyone still think OP's mum isn't poisoning her? Also poison=/= venom. Poison is absorbed or ingested. Venom is always injected.

Why does everyone on this website type like they are a college professor... Or an English major.... Or like a thesaurus is their only friend....

Shit, son, you just got told by an FML mod.

Hey what's up my name is Rob you should message me on my yahoo acct [email protected]

Some people know how to properly use the English language. Shocking, I know.

83- nah, I stopped hanging out with my thesaurus. I've been spending most of my time with dictionary now.

83- nah, I've stopped hanging out with my thesaurus. I spend most of my time time with the dictionary now.

Ever thought of repaying the favour, whenever possible?

Might be a good idea to try and not eat things she prepares for you, but that's harsh. Sorry OP

Why do you continue to eat the food prior to your dates?

Oh no. I saw this on an episode of Community. Corpohumanization. The company Hidden Valley is now a person!

Does she not want you having a appreciable boyfriend that you'll love?