Love: Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going...

By social anxiety my a** - 18/03/2013 14:17 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 636

You deserved it 4 185

Love

Dumdum moment

Great support, mom

Time to get over it too

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 560

You deserved it 3 030

By Anonymous - 22/09/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 742

You deserved it 62 457

By Anonymous - 03/07/2018 15:00

Today, I was verbally harassed by a customer because I wouldn’t give her special treatment after her meal was incorrect. I offered her a refund and a coupon for a free meal, which she refused before calling me a stupid kid who wouldn’t do anything to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 522

You deserved it 221

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 20:19 - United States - San Diego

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 824

You deserved it 3 582

By belle_arina - 08/10/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 374

You deserved it 8 491

By StupidBerk - 17/09/2012 23:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 552

You deserved it 3 143

By virgo - 30/01/2010 06:50 - France

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 156

You deserved it 6 477

By TheNerd - 12/05/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, I was riding my long board. A few feet from me an attractive girl was riding one too, in the same direction. We made eye contact right as I slammed into a light pole. She then fell because she was laughing so hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 503

You deserved it 9 777

By Jukka - 19/04/2011 00:48

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 713

You deserved it 8 426

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 254

You deserved it 15 333

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 08:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 256

You deserved it 5 565

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 17:49 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 770

You deserved it 21 319

Caring parenting

By cinder - 16/10/2020 02:02 - United States - Denver

Today, and every day I decide to get therapy for my severe depression, my parents spring a workload of chores on me, which mentally exhausts me to the point I can’t do anything. Including start my therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 217

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 211

You deserved it 8 053

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 148

You deserved it 36 732

By oldmama728 - 28/04/2011 11:07

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 305

You deserved it 46 224

By Anon - 14/08/2016 10:58 - United States - Tracy

Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 424

You deserved it 1 360

Denied

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 00:01 - United States - Austin

Today, an Air Force recruiter called me. I've been wanting to join the Air Force for 5 years now. After chatting on the phone with him for 10 minutes, I mentioned to him that I had asthma. He quickly told me I can't join any of the military branches, and to have a good day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 434

By IHateMySister - 02/01/2016 10:36 - Denmark - Kirke-hyllinge

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 738

You deserved it 1 337

By moosemay - 02/04/2013 15:04 - Germany - W?rzburg

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 572

You deserved it 4 376

By Anonymous - 31/01/2013 05:40 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 087

You deserved it 38 132

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 20:55 - United States

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 673

You deserved it 36 711

Murderer!

By Anonymous - 03/12/2021 17:01

Today, my husband got charged with felony animal cruelty, because while I was at work, he shot someone's hunting dog on our property. I'm a veterinarian. This should be great for my reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 148

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry

By jenni - 06/04/2021 20:00

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 976

By loser - 31/07/2012 14:21 - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 438

You deserved it 2 511

By chessgeeksam - 14/03/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I learned that the surprise party thrown for my girlfriend's 19th birthday was wonderful and she couldn't be happier. Except that I didn't show up. Apparently 40 people were invited but I wasn't one of them. We've been going out for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 333

You deserved it 4 036

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 135

You deserved it 4 153

By how - 25/07/2013 04:10 - United States - Crozier

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 083

You deserved it 3 370

By gali-ma - 07/02/2015 12:52 - Australia

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 3 595

By Reno - 15/04/2013 16:25 - United States - Reno

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 609

You deserved it 8 942

By holyshitbatman - 09/11/2012 04:53 - United States - Toledo

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 854

You deserved it 3 004

Deception

By that'sokay - 12/05/2020 23:00

Today, I found out the guy I have been sleeping with didn't actually break up with his girlfriend. She just moved for a few weeks during quarantine. They are now living with each other, and I'm alone and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 463

By mybad - 25/08/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 134

You deserved it 13 228

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 908

You deserved it 4 426

By CircleBruise - 08/06/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 386

You deserved it 5 863

Today, on Maury…

By MIA - 15/09/2019 06:03

Today, my husband of four years finally told me he has an eight-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 159

By lez probs - 18/05/2013 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 452

You deserved it 21 679

By Anonymous - 07/08/2013 15:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 831

You deserved it 7 740

By Anonymous - 03/07/2016 23:22

Today, after months of planning and saving for our honeymoon in Italy, my wife and I were turned away at the airport because my passport only has a month until it expires, even though it's only a five-day trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 098

You deserved it 3 877

By Quicky5_ - 03/11/2015 06:58 - United States - Jasper

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 2 476

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Top comments

perdix 29

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Monday 18 March 2013 18:56

Looks like a disease that you shouldn't have cured.

Pleonasm 35

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Monday 18 March 2013 18:59

He probably uses that as a way in with the ladies: "I have terrible social anxiety.. I-I wish I could stay, you're so charming but-but...it's really horrible, I just can't." "How can I help you with that then? I am enjoying being with you!" "Oh, well, there is one thing..." 3:D

icetea4life 5

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Monday 18 March 2013 18:55

Well hes making improvements you should be proud of him

LightningCactus 12

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 4:48

No. She shouldn't be proud of him for being an asshole.

Pwib 14

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 9:06

"Sometimes people say things but don't realize it, but everyone makes mistakes."

perdix 29

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Monday 18 March 2013 18:56

Looks like a disease that you shouldn't have cured.

buddy51 23

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Monday 18 March 2013 18:57

OP- It's a miracle! He's recovered from social anxiety just in time for his house party!

Pleonasm 35

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Monday 18 March 2013 18:59

Pleonasm 35

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Monday 18 March 2013 20:46

Originally horny face, but what you've proposed is a lot more fun!

Catkam623 27

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 0:24

Oh I thought it was a penis like 8=D

peachesncreem 21

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 2:18

Personally, I like penises to be a little longer than 8=D.. But if that's all you're packin', then that's cool. As long as you know how to use it :D

Catkam623 27

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 3:28

I may be short but it's not the size of the boat it's the motion of the Ocean and a vibrator for her once I'm done

EsotericBrent 29

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 4:31

Looks like a needle, moves like a sewing machine....

DocBastard 38

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Monday 18 March 2013 19:05

Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it. ESPECIALLY don't wish to hear "Harlem Shake". Seriously, don't do it.

therealslim 15

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Monday 18 March 2013 19:47

Doc, I never knew you were into the Pussycat Dolls!

whyusofat 17

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 5:55

@10 lolwut?

therealslim 15

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 17:17

Apparently nobody remembers that song..

fylx100 19

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Wednesday 20 March 2013 0:26

I remember an Eminem song that said that. "be careful what you wish for cause you just might get and if you get it then you just might not know what to do with it.." ..no? Never mind then. . . But I was at least smart enough to assume the pussycat dolls had a song with those lyrics.

thewaterbear 10

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Thursday 21 March 2013 19:39

Well I remember a movie with a little song that went "be careful what you wiiiiish for." The movie was about a guy who wished he was a fish. And then he turned into a fish. I can't remember the name of the movie...

cocainewhore 30

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Monday 25 August 2014 21:43

#53 ponyo?

SmokingUnicorn 8

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Monday 18 March 2013 19:07

I feel like a proud parent every time a FML I moderate make it to recent.

Curtar2 18

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Monday 18 March 2013 19:16

Have to start somewhere I guess. Though maybe in the wrong way.

mackdeezy 22

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Monday 18 March 2013 19:19

What's with all the bad boyfriend FML's lately? o.o You'll be alright OP.... Even if you have to reintroduce his social anxiety by embarrassing him with a slap in the face.

Sir_Swaggington 6

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Monday 18 March 2013 19:42

Welp, time to find a new boyfriend.

Joe9024 20

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 5:32

Someone had to say it...

nerdsgetmehot 22

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Monday 18 March 2013 19:52

Doesn't sound like he has social anxiety to me! Time to ditch that boyfriend, I think.

docscientist 9

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Monday 18 March 2013 22:33

I've dealt with social anxiety and have been accused of flirting when I was simply being nice. Op was also in their home which can ease the anxiety. I'm also more comfortable around the opposite gender than my own.

Ameel_fml 19

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Monday 18 March 2013 22:42

It might still be a form of social anxiety. Sometimes when people with social anxiety are forced into public situations, they tend to overcompensate by being over-friendly to every single person in the room. The fact that the OP's boyfriend flirted with EVERY girl at the party might mean he was just trying to be nice to EVERYONE, without realizing it might come across as weird or flirty. Then again, he might just be a lying asshole.

DanielleinDC 32

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Tuesday 19 March 2013 15:23

He could be Aspie and think he's being nice and friendly while others see it as flirting. I think OP needs to have a talk with her boyfriend about his behavior. It could be that he's more secure at home and will be friendlier than if he's in an unfamiliar setting. And maybe he should make an effort to go out to events with OP to assuage her concerns about him.

Rababco 29

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Saturday 22 February 2014 6:36

@47 An Aspie with Social Anxiety, that could be frustrating. I probably have Aspergers/high-functioning autism (yes, I'm a girl, shocking isn't it?) and really shy so I have trouble communicating and meeting other people. I often get yelled at without understanding why or uncomfortable talking to other people. I can imagine OPs boyfriend being clueless of why his girlfriend's mad at him.