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The all-time greatest FMLs

Mean girls

By Imstuuuupid - 25/02/2022 00:01

Today, not even a month into the new semester, I have a hearing at the Dean’s office for academic dishonesty. My classmate and “friend” who I’ve been doing online quizzes with at home (considered cheating) decided to throw me under the bus, all because I wouldn’t let her borrow $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 1 089

And I oop

By Anonymous - 03/04/2022 16:00

Today, my mother-in-law, who I love to bits and also work with, came into my office, so I greeted her with our usual, “What now, you old bat?” expecting the usual, “Cost estimates, you cheeky young bleeder.” It wasn’t her, it was the company owner. My mandatory sensitivity training starts Thursday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 1 112

Prank off

By I may also need a Tetanus shot - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 81

Chilling

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents went on holiday, finally, and since I’m always freezing I took the opportunity to actually turn up the temperature on the boiler. Not 30 seconds later my dad called pissed and told me either I turn it back down or he’s coming home from Spain to kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 204

Rivalry

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my two idiot boys beat the hell out of each other over a girl they both like. The poor girl isn’t even remotely interested in them, she’s had the same boyfriend for 6 years, and is marrying him next year. What idiots I raised, one has a broken finger and the other is missing teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 22:00

Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 2 396

Heads up

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 05:00

Today, after a day spent at the beach, I was looking back through our photos. Neither my husband, sisters, kids, or our friends bothered to tell me that my white swimsuit became a bit see-through when wet. In absolutely every photo you could clearly see my pubes and my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 385

Thanks for the support!

By Anonymous - 10/07/2024 06:00 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I was asked if I realized how much of a failure I am compared to everyone else. Yeah, I'm 32, and I feel like a complete failure. Almost everyone around me is a success, money coming in, their own place, trips non stop, new cars, and all the fuss. The problem is that I was asked this by one of my parents. I'm really tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 149

Teenage kicks

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 12:30

Today, my girlfriend gave me a wedgie and got her sister to take a pic. My boxers broke. I had that pair since middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 1 161

Irritable

By majestic09 - 15/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, like most days, no matter what I eat, my stomach does not agree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 108

The truth will set you free

By Imnotfromhere - 29/08/2021 23:01

Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 1 057

I'm always right

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 05:00 - United States - Crestview

Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 93

Black Mirror type shit

By Kareen - 04/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Austin

Today, out of desperation, I tried a new AI therapist app. Mid-session, it paused and asked, “Before we continue, would you like to upgrade to Premium for $9.99?” My mental breakdown was not included in the free trial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 213

I don't like this

By Anonymous - 09/07/2024 05:00 - Portugal - Montijo

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is still liking other semi-naked girls at Instagram, even though I'd told him a month ago that it makes me feel insecure. It's time to say goodbye to him; I can't find a man with integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 320

Clowned around, found out

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while on a first date, we ran into a street performer dressed as a clown. I have a phobia of clowns, so I froze in place for a solid 30 seconds before moving away as fast as I could. She spent the rest of the date looking at me oddly, then afterwards said we weren’t going to work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 216

Not helping

By Missy - 23/09/2025 20:00

Today, after feeling down due to another negative pregnancy test after my hubby and I have been trying for over a year, my mom insisted I come to a BBQ to "cheer me up." I get there and what do I see? Blue and pink balloons. My sister was announcing her pregnancy. My mom got pissed at me when I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 189

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 121

I've got blisters on my fingers

By Owie - 09/11/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 120

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 08:00 - Australia

Today, I took my best friend to see her dad in hospital. While they were talking in another room about his care, he took his last lucid words before his death. I was the only one there and I'd never even met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 68

Follicular catastrophe

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I went to a different barber because my usual one was on vacation. I told him I wanted a slight trim, nothing drastic. Apparently, "slight trim" means shaving half of my head and giving me bangs that would make a medieval monk jealous. Now, I look like a confusing fashion experiment from the '80s. The 1880s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 101

Just pish yerself

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 142

Comma etiquette

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was accused of using AI to write something, all because I used the Oxford Comma ; I use it all the time, and always will. The internet has become such a total shitshow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 103

Biohazard

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I have to spray the kitchen whenever my new roommate cooks. Not only can he not cook, but what he usually makes is some godawful concoction of ramen noodles, canned tuna, Tuna Helper, and Ranch dressing for himself. The stink alone is enough to make me choke, but he smokes the entire time he makes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 118

Wedge issues

By What the fuck - 03/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I learned that there are people who actually, unironically believe that Danny Masterson is innocent. Faith in humanity: Gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 262

Alexa, play "Mind Games" by John Lennon

By Sleepy - 22/11/2023 07:30 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up to the realization that I had slept through my alarm, missed a crucial work meeting, and dreamt that I was the CEO of a company that manufactured alarm clocks. I now fear that my subconscious is mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 156

Keeping up with the Joneses

By Eva - 10/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I met my ex from the college, and he invited me to dinner. Back then, he was rude and a bit abusive, but I agreed anyway. The man I saw today is loving, caring and fun, with a good job, and I really liked his wife. On the other hand, I'm between jobs, and my relationship's turned into the utter bore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 193

Message in a virtual bottle

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 16:00 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was feeling extremely depressed and worthless, so I decided to use the crisis chat. I told them I felt lonely and worthless, and had nobody to talk to. They never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 85

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 140

Thanks, Neoliberalism!

By Broke student - 21/08/2024 02:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I DoorDashed after work to make money for gas because I spent all my money on test prep. My tank is almost empty but I made enough to buy a full tank to get me to work. Turns out the DoorDash card does not work at the pump and I have to wait a week for it to deposit. I'm currently counting coins. I get paid monthly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 104

Coach Class

By GetFuzzy - 18/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 2 076

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to console my cousin because I'd heard that her dog had passed away. As I opened the door, the first thing I saw was her extremely old and feeble (but still very much alive) dog. Turns out my friend was talking about HIS cousin, and I simply misheard. Trying to explain that to her was mighty awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 182

Today, I learned that my deceased dad left his entire considerable estate to charity because it was "fairer" than trying to divide it evenly between his three kids. Some of our properties have been in our family since Jefferson was President. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 128

Today, I was waiting at the airport for a flight when I looked down and realised that I had booked the wrong date. Frantically, I tried to rebook the flight, but it was completely sold out. Now, I'm stuck in the airport for the next 24 hours with nothing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 784

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 349

You deserved it 29 723

Today, I was working from home. I felt very sleepy, so I set my online status “Active” and went back to bed. I woke up to 3 missed calls from my boss and an email from him, containing a webcam screenshot of me asleep in bed. I totally forgot he has remote access to my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 3 043

Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 178

You deserved it 10 329