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Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (12101)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

#14344893
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (3822)

On 12/26/2010 at 10:47am - misc - by muffdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

#17546019
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (2152)

On 08/22/2011 at 7:04am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

#17490024
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22450) - you deserved it (10351)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm - work - by secret dancer (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

#18468600
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22451) - you deserved it (3235)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

#1529
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22448) - you deserved it (8517)

On 01/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by zuut - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22449) - you deserved it (6598)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (42947)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

#20058791
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22443) - you deserved it (3350)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22443) - you deserved it (2058)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (11412)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

#21419812
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (14124)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by lanaoftherey - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (3279)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)



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