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Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML

#6018223
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (8214)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:45am - kids - by Chub (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (64424)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (40766)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (2418)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 mins. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

#3577359
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (44748)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:08am - work - by joybirdnot_13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (28021)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sends a text to one of his "friends" saying "I'm thinking of you". FML

#1878
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23609) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:20am - love - by Wolf - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (6107)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

#19321337
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (2944)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (2497)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (2924)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (33906) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (1986)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)



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