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Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

by Username / 08/11/2011 at 12:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

by Scorned Employee / 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

by nikki / 10/09/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I'm a graduate but still an unpaid intern. My daily work is folding letters and putting them into envelopes. The sad thing is, I actually enjoy doing it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2011 at 8:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

by Bug / 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

by I-love-my-tea / 06/09/2015 at 6:30pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 2:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

by EB / 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm / United States / Money

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

by fisted / 06/12/2015 at 9:42am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I found out why my mother-in-law kept asking for one particular photo of our baby. She just wanted to show off the blanket that she had made to her friends on Facebook. Her first grandchild was almost completely cropped out of the picture. FML

by AndyClara / 06/14/2015 at 4:27pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML

by jccwell / 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

by ouch / 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

by yuckduck / 04/10/2015 at 8:29am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.