Intimacy, Sex and Frustration: Morning glory - FML

Morning glory

By Unwanted - 26/09/2025 20:00

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 96

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Hard place

By RohnAbheek - 21/08/2011 17:36 - India

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a Viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 225

You deserved it 47 411

Denied

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 13:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 199

By bob - 03/07/2012 17:33 - United States - Fairborn

Spicy

Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 037

You deserved it 9 401

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 08:39 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 141

You deserved it 7 983

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 003

You deserved it 5 619

By bill219 - 07/12/2012 22:40 - United States - Dallas

Spicy

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 254

You deserved it 26 105

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 073

You deserved it 5 442

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 753

You deserved it 3 610

To each their own

By engagedtoafreak - 22/03/2025 19:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 184

By Thanks dicks - 07/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 798

You deserved it 390

Next

Top comments

tido26 17

Saturday 27 September 2025 2:10

So, you woke up hard, and you think it's "fml" that your partner didn't automatically take care of you? Are they supposed to wipe your butt too? grow up

YessMasster 5

Monday 29 September 2025 15:55

OP did not mention making any suggestions

Comments

tido26 17

Saturday 27 September 2025 2:10

So, you woke up hard, and you think it's "fml" that your partner didn't automatically take care of you? Are they supposed to wipe your butt too? grow up

thinman12345 16

Saturday 27 September 2025 17:22

I don’t think that its the fact she said no, I think it’s more a FML how she said no.

YessMasster 5

Monday 29 September 2025 15:55

OP did not mention making any suggestions

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 176

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 985

You deserved it 9 818

Today, I tried buying alcohol for the first time. I have a baby face, so I had my ID ready. The store owner admitted that my ID looked real enough, but he wouldn't believe it wasn't just an elaborate fake. He very nearly called the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 879

You deserved it 1 745

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying, "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 719

You deserved it 3 045

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me showering in the dark. When he asked why, I just told him it’s more relaxing for me. Truth is, after losing 120 lbs, I’m so disgusted by the look of my sagging skin that I can’t bear to see myself naked anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 899

You deserved it 366

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 353

You deserved it 6 257