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Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

#9015781
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (2657)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by gorgeousgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

#13041055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (2890)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by IHateMyJob - United States

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (2587)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22572) - you deserved it (2562)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

#19908614
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (6119)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (2967)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (2515)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

#13775223
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (3862)

On 11/09/2010 at 7:02am - misc - by botheredgf (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (3181)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (2993)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (1669)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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