Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

#19705256
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (3954)

On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (5702)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

#20041381
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (1912)

On 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm - health - by blue (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

#8842
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21223) - you deserved it (4190)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by Michigan (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21223) - you deserved it (32600)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

#19620851
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (1997)

On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

#7235673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (2876)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by Justaddwater - France

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (223168)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

#626
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (5921)

On 12/29/2008 at 11:54pm - love - by sneezer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (37963)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

#9177145
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (7334)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by knews - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

#19782918
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (2242)

On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21209) - you deserved it (23712)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: