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Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#19691716
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (2023)

On 05/28/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (49890)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

#19705256
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20344) - you deserved it (3828)

On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

#12501881
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (11898)

On 08/13/2010 at 3:45pm - animals - by Spelit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

#20067647
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

#20120904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20339) - you deserved it (3644)

On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML

#2736188
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (44977)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:39am - health - by fatty (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (3770)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (3853)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (3339)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

#19211416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20328) - you deserved it (5438)

On 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm - misc - by mexicandelicacy (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

#8148344
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (5304)

On 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by Female - United States

Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML

#19533768
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20323) - you deserved it (2208)

On 04/26/2012 at 7:04pm - health - by bucktooth - United Kingdom



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