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Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (8432)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (5196)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML

#21446532
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (1584)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML

#17668770
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25395) - you deserved it (3348)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by Grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (2229)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (2236)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

#18680064
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (7282)

On 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm - work - by Scorned Employee (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (2290)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25391) - you deserved it (2294)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML

#21440701
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25390) - you deserved it (3164)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:03pm - love - by newmoongirl1036 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my long time girlfriend flew across the country to visit. My asshat roommate decided to introduce himself to her while I was in the bathroom. She left and won't answer my calls. He won't tell me what he said to her. FML

Today, I nearly got written up at work for missing an important memo. The memo was sent to everyone via the company Facebook group and not by our e-mail system. My manager could hardly believe people exist who have no Facebook account and have no intention of making one. FML

#21479032
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (2281)

On 10/12/2015 at 11:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

#7093721
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25388) - you deserved it (2831)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm - animals - by ninjapup (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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