Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about five minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped and she left the room. After waiting around ten minutes, I decided to check if she was OK. The window was open. She was gone. FML
Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML
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Top comments
Tucatz 0
You may need to work on your technique a little.
Bassorandy 0
She MUST have meant her biological clock, right? Women don't need watches for those kinds of things. Come on buddy, think on the bright side.
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Comments (109)
Tucatz 0
You may need to work on your technique a little.
cellerbeck 4
how small?
Bassorandy 0
She MUST have meant her biological clock, right? Women don't need watches for those kinds of things. Come on buddy, think on the bright side.
ilovefatcats 12
… fail at śéx sad so very sad
toch040 0
please don't talk like that you are taking up the whole comments board
Fuck34 0
****!
lifesabit 0
Lol Looks like she wasn't into it.... I'm not sure whether it is a FML or YDI..... think I'll put both....
lesb_lv 0
LOL u bored her :D
jesseheath 0
ive never met a girl that mean. i mean.. come on.. she could have atleast faked it.
muso 0
I agree !
ksackal91 0
No, she shouldn't have faked it. He would have never of known that he wasnt any good and it would have wasted her time. However, she should have just told him the way she liked it and gave him some pointers for next time.
loganberrybat 11
Why should she have to fake it?! If he's crap then that's his problem. Sex isn't just for the guy's pleasure, it's supposed to please the woman too. Men are so selfish
paprika_pilipili_fml 14
I totally agree with you. :)
LoZelda123 20
faking it does not help anyone -_- the girl is not happy and the guy will get an ego until he receives a reality check, because the truth comes out eventually
amirn86 0
Damn that is HARSH I gotta go ahead and second #1. There are a lot of websites to help you with that sort of thing lol
Jaywin 3
Harsh but this totally reminded me of an episode of 30 Rock where some blind girl pretends to look at her wrist to escape a date with Kenneth after touching his face.
mf_fml 0
yikes, girl shoulda had the courtesy to at least let you finish, then come-up with "gotta go" excuses later.
bingababe 16
Why the hell should he get to finish if he wasn't good enough to get her to 'finish'?!?! I say it's his own fault for being bad in bed!!
marisaichiban 0
#10 is right. This girl is a little strange... Possibly has a really short attention span.