Love: Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two...

By sweet - 26/03/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 357

You deserved it 5 440

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Mean Girls

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 17:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 962

It's all Double Dutch to me

By MahmoudA - 26/02/2023 02:00

Today, I was asked to translate for a family in Arabic since I’m the only one in my office who speaks Arabic. Turns out the family is actually from Bangladesh. They speak Bengali. When I explained this to my coworker he replied, “But aren’t y’all Middle Easterns related or something?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 94

Assface

By bitches. - 15/06/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 473

You deserved it 3 449

Could be useful in the right circumstances

By ThisIsYourDoc - 18/08/2023 14:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, I finished the rather expensive Arabic language course I have been taking for about 6 months. I still can't hold a conversation, but I can now say, "May Allah give you a headache and you are stuck in Beirut's traffic for two hours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 158

By Marie - 27/07/2010 07:46 - Canada

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 5 166

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 893

You deserved it 97 282

Speaking in Welsh can cause this too

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I was harassed repeatedly by other passengers during my flight for speaking Arabic and sounding aggressive. I was in no way being aggressive, and I had to speak Arabic because it's the only language my mother-in-law speaks. Such a fuss was made, I did end up being questioned by TSA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 183

By SadisticSatire - 11/10/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 324

You deserved it 39 904

By kaleigh - 31/05/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 806

You deserved it 10 197

References

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 06:00

Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 995

sleepless15_p 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

I hate people who tell secrets in public and insult people with a different language. You should have freaked out on those assholes.

effmailyfe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:59

You should have made some comment about small penises. Or something...

Comments

sleepless15_p 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:58

I hate people who tell secrets in public and insult people with a different language. You should have freaked out on those assholes.

danyfuckinheatle 0

Monday 24 May 2010 3:01

well, at least you have nice *******.

79up 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 15:17

you shouldve said something to them in Arabic

duke56924903 11

Thursday 23 August 2012 21:39

"eh, they're not THAT nice."

L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20

Thursday 9 January 2014 5:37

I agree with 192 you should gone up to them casually and start a conversion in Arabic. Then, sit back and be amused when they get embarrassed.

effmailyfe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:59

You should have made some comment about small penises. Or something...

Shadowflames420 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 23:59

atleast you have nice ****!

xcowboys 0

Monday 20 June 2011 5:05

and there's the silver lining!

comebckkid14 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:00

I so would have told them off

lame16 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

LOL #4

soggysandwich 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

agree with #2

ohhboyy 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

should've said "thanks" in arabic & winked

MaiLouIsLegend 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:02

Pffft, guys will be guys. Shoulda jus snared them a dirrrty look ha

Mydixienormous 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:05

HAHAHA!! I would defenitely agree with #4..

schizoid_fml 3

Friday 27 March 2009 0:05

they said you have nice **** you are merely classed as a butherface (butter face) take it as a half compliment

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 899

You deserved it 13 670

Today, I have been crying uncontrollably for a week straight. Why? Someone posted a mean comment about me on the internet a week ago. No matter how much I try to think about something else, I can’t. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 541

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 710

You deserved it 2 975

Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 769

You deserved it 1 646

Today, while I was gambling at a casino, my daughter call me. Then added her mother. And then added her dance teacher, my side piece. The call got so loud the Pit Boss had to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 2 962

Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 415

You deserved it 3 312

Same thing different taste

Mean Girls

It's all Double Dutch to me

Assface

Could be useful in the right circumstances

Speaking in Welsh can cause this too

References

Top comments

Comments