By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 08:12 - United States
The Top
By Anonymous - 08/09/2016 03:01 - Canada - Niagara Falls
By CinnamonBunny - 02/08/2016 13:27
CinnamonBunny tells us more.
By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 14:38 - United States - San Francisco
By JP - 18/06/2009 16:11 - Italy
By Nick - 27/11/2009 10:11 - United Kingdom
By Broke - 27/07/2016 16:38 - United States - Los Angeles
By TheLifguard95 - 26/04/2016 23:49 - United Kingdom
Blazing Saddles
By Jen - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Don't do this
By Malcolm654 - 29/09/2016 03:20 - United States - Huntington Beach
Make up tutorial
By Bunni - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia
By bubbles - 12/10/2009 05:36 - United States
Ready for anything
By too eager - 25/04/2016 15:21 - Australia - Hurstville
By MotherNatureMustDie - 27/10/2009 12:32 - South Africa
By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada
By bumpercarmcgee - 11/05/2016 08:33 - United States
bumpercarmcgee tells us more.
Update: the breaks weren't really a big deal at first because I didn't have to use them all that much until I got to the freeway, and on the freeway you can just kinda let up off the gas to slow down, especially at higher speeds/less traffic. I just remember noting that the breaks felt a little weird, but I was mostly just focusing on trying to stay behind my friend and not get lost. I attributed that weirdness to how certain cars probably feel and drive differently. I just remember at some point after noting the "weird" breaks I had the morbid thought, "heh, you know what'd be terrible is if the breaks went out." But yeah, breaks became a huge deal the moment I got off the freeway. Turns out they actually worked like 25% of the time and you just had to "double-pump it, dude!" Tbh it's a god damn miracle I made it as far as I did and I narrowly avoided several collisions with other vehicles just trying to get his car to his house. Funny enough, I rear-ended his car literally a block away from his house. I do think the situation is morbidly funny in a way, but it was mostly ******* terrifying. Driving without breaks has this terrifying effect of making you feel like you yourself have nerve damage or something. Like my brain is like I'm doing it! But the electrochemical signals relaying that message to your muscles just kinda got ****** up somewhere along the way.
By Anonymous - 25/02/2010 00:29 - United States
The witching hour
By Donny - 04/08/2011 20:49 - United States
By Henry - 11/11/2011 22:29 - Norway
By kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France
By sakurabloom - 04/05/2016 20:08 - Canada - Ottawa
sakurabloom tells us more.
OP here. for all you saying i need to disipline my daughter, believe me i have. I made her appologise to my guests, her computer is taken away and she is grounded for two weeks. the poignancy of the FML would have been lost if i included that part along with the post being too long.
By b5b0n36 - 11/08/2016 16:47 - United States - Fairfield
b5b0n36 tells us more.
I didn't say anything kinda just stared at him with a look that said "you're an idiot" he then awkwardly walked off
By Bummed - 12/06/2016 19:44
By FartMyLife - 11/08/2016 11:34 - United States - Brooklyn
Where is my mind?
By LAXsucks - 20/10/2009 01:10 - United States
By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States
Funny to him
By Binkplugged - 05/07/2016 18:01
By Preggo - 14/05/2016 17:11 - United States - Memphis
By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 01:03 - United States
By screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles
Keywords
OP here. Just to clarify: - I found out about the texts a month or so ago when she sent one just as we were cuddling in bed. That was fun. - Husband had not responded to her texts the way she would like, but he hadn't exactly told her to **** off either. He just kept bleating on about how they were supposed to be friends. Ostensibly it's because they worked together (we all work for an IT company but they were in a different department) and he didn't want to cause trouble but I think it's more that he quite liked the attention. He is well and truly in the doghouse. - She is well aware of our marriage and had met me several times prior to sexting my husband.