By Broke - 27/07/2016 16:38 - United States - Los Angeles
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Red Flag, Flashing lights, Siren, Warning Flares, the works! It's a pretty risky undertaking expecting to be alone and vulnerable with a "boyfriend" you have never actually met. I understand that you may have spent years getting to know him online and even over Skype etc but it's surprisingly easy to put on a front when you are miles apart. Hopefully he'll be a great as you clearly think he will but do remember: 1) You only know what he has told you about himself. Meeting friends/family, seeing the way he interacts with you and other people around him, all of these things give clues that we normally get to see _before_ we are alone with people. 2) The fact that he can't/won't pay but wants something from you that you can't really afford. That isn't the behaviour of a boy in love who's eager to meet up with you in person. That sounds more like someone out for everything he can get. Go carefully OP!
Is it common to book an apartment together for your first meeting though? And have one person pay for it all? I know online dating can be a brilliant stepping stone on the way to offline dating, but it sounds like OP is just booking herself a one way ticket to Sketchy Town here
This is the thing that concerns me - a friend of mine is currently in a relationship that came from online dating, but it started with a few "dates" just like any other might. It took quite a few of those dates to find anyone reasonable from all the freeks and wierdos who "like"d her profile. And all of those seemed reasonable enough on the phone. No matter how well you think you know someone online, locking yourself away in a room or apartment on your first personal meeting is a pretty risky first step.
It seems a bit... odd to call him her "boyfriend" before they've ever met though. I mean, I get online dating, I've been in a relationship with a guy I'd met online and daily talked to for at least half a year before meeting, but there's no way I could consider him my boyfriend before we'd met. Even if you live far away, even if you take a looong time to talk before meeting, I don't see how you can consider it an actual relationship at that point.
I just know from experience that for every heart-warming marriage story out there, there are 10 people who find manipulating others online so easy that they do it without thinking. Which means it's worth treading carefully and playing safe and I hope OP realises that.
God, I have this friend who got engaged to someone she never met in person. He lived in Cali, us in Michigan. She's my best friend, so I was happy for her, but she only knew the guy for a short short time (less than a year). he ended up cheating on her and they stayed to get her, but she cheated on him and they broke up. We weren't even out of high school yet, but we just graduated and she's engaged again to, at least a guy who lives near us.
That's unfortunate. I had a long-distance relationship. We met on the internet (11 years ago) when I was 14. And now we've been living together for 3 years (I moved 900 miles from home). All that mattered was getting to see each other, and getting to touch each other. Location didn't matter. Tell him not to complain since he's not paying for it. And if he's still unreasonable, rethink him....
Most people on here aren't concerned about internet dating, people are concerned because this guy seems sketchy. He doesn't have a job and he's not paying for anything but he wants to meet her in a really nice hotel. That's not a good sign. Did your husband make you pay for a 4 star hotel for your first meet up?
OP, no. You do not STAY with someone you are neeting for the first time, especially with that kind of attitude. Basic safety precautions, OP. You meet in a public place, restaurant or amusement park, bowling alley, something. If you are both traveling, stay in separate rooms at the very least. Different buildings is safer. This one doesn't sound worth your time anyway. Total moocher waiting to happen.
If you've never met him before, don't stay in the same room/apartment with him. And bring friends with you because you never know what could happen. All the advice out there for meeting someone from the Internet for the first says the same thing - meet in a public place. Make it a group event. There's safety in numbers and, since you've never met him before, you don't know what he's really like - he could be completely different. It's better to be safe than sorry.