By FartMyLife - 11/08/2016 11:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 894
You deserved it 2 143

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My boss walked into a cloud years ago and before he could blame me I let him know that, "Tim just crop dusted." Tim didn't do it.

These things happen lol. I am sure this won't affect your career..:). Farts of good performance? Good performance will always win (I hope) You have made a statement. He will always remember you by your good work and extremely noxious fart :).

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These things happen lol. I am sure this won't affect your career..:). Farts of good performance? Good performance will always win (I hope) You have made a statement. He will always remember you by your good work and extremely noxious fart :).

OP truly has farts of good performance.

My boss walked into a cloud years ago and before he could blame me I let him know that, "Tim just crop dusted." Tim didn't do it.

And when if he asked who Tim is I hope you said "There are some who call me... Tim?"

Op's name made this fml better. And i do believe that worse things could happen. Worse comes to worse, find somebody named Tim to blame.

Pro tip: don't fart when someone's giving you praise

In case you didn't figure it out from the thumbs, OP farted right BEFORE the VP came over to praise them.

Quickly, go buy a dog and bring it to the office secretly. Now hope he thinks it was the dog that magically showed up.

how u explain to ur next employer y u got fired, lol op that sucks

read up on eating healthy. noxious gas is a sign of poor health. cut out wheat and increase vegtables and you will notice a difference.

Actually, a plant-based diet creates more gas than an easily digestible (but unhealthy) meat and white flour diet. Kale, beans, peas, whole grains all can cause really bad noxious gas, especially if you are not used to eating them. Once your belly (gut flora) adapts, you're usually ok eating them. Also, protein powders, which aren't necessarily unhealthy, just unnecessary in most people, can make you super super gassy.

Creative username OP

Definitely YDI. There is a reason why most people avoid certain foods during the week. A quick trip to the bathroom to "wash your hands" works too. No reason for you to turn your desk into a toxic fumes area.

No, OP did not deserve this. Gas can and will happen even with the best of diets; and it can bubble up so suddenly that one cannot make it to the bathroom to "wash their hands." Farts aren't something one can plan for!

Bahaha! I love the narration of this. :D