By Preggo - 14/05/2016 17:11 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was food shamed by my boyfriend in front of an entire restaurant and his parents because my meal cost more than his. His mom chimed in saying her meal usually costs more than his step dad's too and not to be upset. I'm 8 months pregnant, of course mine costs more. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 940
You deserved it 1 428

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Pregnant or not who gives a ****?! Unless you ordered $100 food which I doubt. My meals always end up cheaper because most of the time the others order steak or something and I just get what I like which works out cheaper.

Donut_Wizard 23

Could mean that you have a better taste in food than him too.


Donut_Wizard 23

Could mean that you have a better taste in food than him too.

Don't take someone out to eat if you're going to be ticked if they pick something more expensive than you.

Mortoli 30

that not even an issue lol. the big issue is that idiot is havin a kid. poor girl.

Why does it even matter? Even if he was paying (and I'm guessing he was), you can choose whatever you'd like to eat...if your choice doesn't suit him he should have said so and tell you what to pick or how much money he is ready to spend on you, but I believe that's considered to be rude to tell you something like that.

Yeah if someone disregarded my order at a restaurant and told me what to pick, I'd be really angry with them. If it's a matter of money, they should have established their budget before hand.

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(Perhaps worth noting that nowhere in this FML does it say that OP wasn't paying or that her boyfriend was. Which doesn't necessarily mean he wasn't, but also doesn't mean he was.)

She's having his baby. He pays for dinner with his parents.

She's having a baby, and he's probably the father.

I'm sorry OP, not only was that rude of him it was insensitive too! I can imagine that situation was much harder to deal with when pregnant on top of it. Definitely make sure to tell him off for it, even if you weren't pregnant shaming you for eating is NEVER ok.

Pregnant or not who gives a ****?! Unless you ordered $100 food which I doubt. My meals always end up cheaper because most of the time the others order steak or something and I just get what I like which works out cheaper.

I'm going to guess you're a guy (and/)or you've never been pregnant.

When I was pregnant I ate less than non-pregnant you don't always eat more. Doesn't matter if you are pregnant you should be able to eat what you want

Why would that be? Im saying she should be allowed to eat whatever she wants. I'm assuming everyone else understood that.

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fotomiep 7

While I agree with the FYL, I'm a bit confused as to why your food would 'of course' cost more. Do pregnant women acquire more expensive tastes during pregnancy or something like that?

They need to eat enough for themselves, and also the fetus inside of them, particularly at 8 months when the fetus is quite large and active.

I agree #7. I've been around plenty of pregnant women, even a couple of them carrying twins, and they ate just about the same as they did before they were pregnant. Doctors even told them that they only need to eat more when expecting multiple births. So unless OP is carrying around three or four babies in there, or unless she's on a special diet requiring specialty foods, then her being pregnant is not an excuse for her meal costing more. If you like to eat foods that cost more, or if you like to eat more food than average, then just own up to it.

Leviathene 34

#11 There is no excuse for shaming anyone for eating, regardless of pregnancy or not. Not all pregnant women have the same experience. Some women can still exercise throughout their pregnancies while others don't have ANY energy at all. Some women need to eat more than others. It's all different. I ate ice cubes throughout my pregnancy (caused by iron deficiency), while my friend was stick thin and ate like a horse. By the way, different meals cost different prices. Pregnant women cant eat certain foods. Therefore; if a person is limited by what they can and cant eat, the cost of eating WILL be affected. That is NOT OP's fault.

I am confused too.

First off, that doctor is over simplifying matters significantly. During the first trimester, calories don't have to be increased, that's true. However, during the second trimester, caloric intake should be increased by 300 to 350 calories a day, plus 300 per each fetus after the first. During the third trimester, caloric intake should be increased by around 500 calories, plus 300 for each additional fetus. Even going of the 'ideal' intake for an 'average' male, that's a 25% increase in calories according to what the daily needs are. For a woman, which the average is usually around 1800, it's closer to a 30% increase in calories. Second off, regardless of what OP's scientific caloric needs are, part of pregnancy is that people tend to crave food, be it a specific type, at a certain time, or beyond what their 'medically neccesity' calories are. Third, food shaming someone in public is ****** up regardless who the person in question is, let alone when it's the person carrying around your child and that you are in a relationship with. Food shaming is a form of emotional abuse, and can lead to eating disorders and other body image related disorders. Fourth, if the price of someone's food- that you pay for on the regular- is really that outrageous, have the basic ******* courtesy to bring it up in private and in a polite manner. Or take them out to eat less and make them more meals at home.

they need enough for 2

Unless it was a question of how many dishes either of them actually ordered, cost of food at a restaurant is very rarely dependent on calories, but it is often dependent on quality. Healthy food (lots of good quality salad, expensive ingredients like salmon) is usually more expensive than, say, cheap burger and fries. However, even if OP doesn't necessarily need to eat for 2 (though that's up to her and her doctor's advice, not the BF or anyone else), she does need to eat extra healthy. Hence, possibly a more expensive dish.

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That's actually not true.

dbt88 15

1200 is the low end, not 2000. Food labels even say they're based on an average 2000 cal/day diet... They wouldn't if that was unhealthily low.

prodigy2013 4

Definitely OPs fault no matter how you look at it. She picked the meal. She could have gotten water to lower the price a tad. And I'm pretty sure there more than 1 or 2 things a pregnant lady can eat on the menu where she went. You can't blindly defend people because they are pregnant. That's like defending a white person from a black Bc they are white and "blacks have a worse criminal record"

Emmeleia 8

Nutritionist/Chef here weighing in - #20 is completely right about the increase of calories and I would say 1800 is a fair amount to base it on. I sit on about 1500-1800 with a balanced diet. I am sad to say that in today's society, healthy food (very important for pregnant women to eat a variety of healthy, nutrient rich food) is more expensive than non-healthy. A burger + fries in a restaurant here in Australia sits around $20 in a restaurant, however our much healthier dish of salmon is around the $32. I would also expect a side of seasonal greens at $9 if it was dinner due to dinner mains being smaller than lunch mains. Substitutions could have also been made requiring extra cost - esp. as a rule, restaurant food isn't healthy by default so if OP was particularly concerned, changes could have been requested. Then there is also the fact that there are general food rules when eating whilst pregnant - no seafood, eat meat well-done, no deli meat. This is all to reduce chances of food poisoning. It is possibly that they were at a place that may have had to make a meal up on the spot to accommodate (most places will always look after the customers esp. those that are pregnant) At the end of the day, all dishes have different costings and there is no mention of how big the price discrepancy was. There was also no mention of who was paying - hell she could have been paying and he was being an arsehole/or bad comedian OR the parents could have been paying (insert childhood issues about favoritism and not wanting more money spent on anyone else). EITHER WAY food shaming is a bit immature and absolutely humiliating for OP i'm sure as she also mentioned being shamed in front of the "whole restaurant". Your bf is a bit of an ass, however it shouldn't automatically be viewed as a deal breaker as i'm sure some of the comments are probably making it out to be. Everyone has to do some growing up and as much as we all think we should be functioning adults by the time we have our own children - it never works like that. You grow up with your kids. Kick his ass and let him learn. Don't let him get away with it for sure, but some people are stupid and others do stupid things. Some are both............. Shout out to the mother who stood up for OP.

You almost make it sound like his mom was on his side when she seems to beon your side here. Besides who cares unless you spend twice as much, and even then I think your hormones are blowing it up. Probably was not even half as bad asu make it sound now.

YesIamjudgingU 4

Of course? Not really... being pregnant does not mean you eat more. You are supposed to eat as you normally would. The whole "eating for two" thing is a myth. If you want to pig out or eat an expensive meal, own it proudly, but don't blame being knocked up. And yes, I have been pregnant, I do know what it's like.

Not everyone has the same experience when pregnant. Not everyone will have the same experiences or symptoms as you.

#12 - Let me just refer you to #20, a reply on the comment above yours.

It's really exciting that you've experienced every pregnancy ever. My older sister had to increase her caloric intake by something like 700 calories because of the strain the baby put on her body. My best friend had to increase calories and increase her protein and iron intake because of her pregnancy. When I eventually have children I will have to increase the amounts of red meats and iron heavy vegetables because of health issues. Just because one woman has experienced something in a pregnancy doesn't mean every woman will experience that same thing.

It's usually at this point in the FML feed that I realize saying anything would be a mistake. That being said, thank you, women everywhere. I'm looking forward to having kids and you ladies are badass.

dope_mcfly 24

Being pregnant is no excuse to gorge yourself. Your ob should have told you that. The whole "eating for two" mentality was disproved as bunk years ago.

some women like myself have to eat more because their baby is small so it just depends on the person!

dope_mcfly 24

You have no idea what you are talking about, and neither does your OB, apparently.

#44 small babies are usually genetically small because you and your partner are small or are growth restricted for a medical reason such as high blood pressure affecting the blood supply to the baby. eating extra will not change genetics or medical conditions.

Maybe the eating for two thing doesn't apply to everyone but there are plenty of women that are told to increase calories and to eat more of a specific type of food while pregnant. I for one will have to eat foods heavy in iron which means red meats for me since I can't process vegetables very well.