Intimacy: Today, my best friend asked if car oil could be used as a substitute...

If you want to risk getting toxic chemicals inside your body or someone else's, sure. Seriously though. Get on that new friend thing. Perhaps some that are a bit smarter.

b5b0n36 27

Friday 12 August 2016 7:54

already on it bucko!

zinnish 11

Friday 12 August 2016 7:57

I hope you told them yes.

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The Top

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 163

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

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You deserved it 38 933

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 120

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I agree, your life sucks 2 443

You deserved it 381

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I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 294

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I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 171

Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 86

Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 965

You deserved it 23 538