By b5b0n36 - United States - Fairfield Today, my best friend asked if car oil could be used as a substitute for lube. I need new friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 14923 You deserved it 1433 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share b5b0n36 tells us more : I didn't say anything kinda just stared at him with a look that said "you're an idiot" he then awkwardly walked off
By pissedoffexgirlfriend Today, I went to go surprise my long distance boyfriend at college 7 hours away. As I opened his apartment door, I saw him on the couch fucking his “study buddy”. FML I agree, your life sucks 6732 You deserved it 556 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML I agree, your life sucks 17247 You deserved it 41673 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Koda Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML I agree, your life sucks 38593 You deserved it 4658 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Full Stomach Empty Wallet - United States - Danvers Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML I agree, your life sucks 27896 You deserved it 2593 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By it's sharty time :/ - United States - Bismarck Today, during an 8 hour shift at a very busy bowling alley, I found out I can't trust a fart anymore. I'm only 25. Now I have to finish my shift commando, and also get rid of the evidence without anyone noticing. FML I agree, your life sucks 12423 You deserved it 1741 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By courtneynaked - United Arab Emirates Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML I agree, your life sucks 30216 You deserved it 3252 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username Today, I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication due to the high level of stress that I experience at my job. Unfortunately, I cannot afford the medication because I do not make enough money at said job. FML I agree, your life sucks 35571 You deserved it 4279 200 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 30819 You deserved it 2694 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SoClose - United States - Columbus Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML I agree, your life sucks 39166 You deserved it 11234 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By knighton16 - United States Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML I agree, your life sucks 17103 You deserved it 58503 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By calli - United Kingdom Today, I was working at the Soup Kitchen handing out special christmas dinners to the homeless. At the end of the day I collected my things and went home. It was only then I discovered that my wallet, phone, pager and (for some reason) my glasses has been stolen. FML I agree, your life sucks 31374 You deserved it 4588 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By need_cash_now - United States Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 54157 You deserved it 4426 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thatswhatsup66 - United States - Greer Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML I agree, your life sucks 12679 You deserved it 26826 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stargirl - Canada Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML I agree, your life sucks 39111 You deserved it 13034 267 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brendan - Canada Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML I agree, your life sucks 28871 You deserved it 4123 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CurseYouSonyaLee - United States - Midlothian Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML I agree, your life sucks 40150 You deserved it 5523 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML I agree, your life sucks 33943 You deserved it 4648 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By don't get paid enough for this - United States - Youngstown Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML I agree, your life sucks 29291 You deserved it 2168 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FranticFarAwayDaughter Today, my mother was transferred from the hospital to a long-term care facility. Nobody I talk to at the hospital knows what facility they sent her to. FML I agree, your life sucks 4609 You deserved it 200 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scot - United States - Granby Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML I agree, your life sucks 27138 You deserved it 13888 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lax - France Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML I agree, your life sucks 30819 You deserved it 3461 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Beesmakemerun Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML I agree, your life sucks 4186 You deserved it 524 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By toughbf - Canada Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML I agree, your life sucks 28728 You deserved it 3764 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Israel Today, I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML I agree, your life sucks 33775 You deserved it 10276 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kali - United States - San Francisco Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 31043 You deserved it 2272 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML I agree, your life sucks 51272 You deserved it 3111 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML I agree, your life sucks 45134 You deserved it 2459 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justmyluck - United States Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML I agree, your life sucks 28386 You deserved it 4853 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonyme - France - Grenoble Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML I agree, your life sucks 43521 You deserved it 4622 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frosho - United States Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML I agree, your life sucks 54337 You deserved it 5587 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ambermcnulty - France Today, it was the first time my boyfriend had seen me naked. He grabs my breasts and then begins to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts." He is 22. FML I agree, your life sucks 24065 You deserved it 6038 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SoreNips - United Kingdom - Brentwood Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML I agree, your life sucks 38382 You deserved it 13945 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML I agree, your life sucks 42115 You deserved it 4038 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Spencer Today, I decided to try an online therapy site seeing as I have been feeling very lonely and don’t have any friends to talk to about my issues. After filling out all the initial forms, the site told me there was no one available to speak to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2744 You deserved it 190 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heronlydaughter - United States Today, I went over to my mother-in-law's house to have dinner. I was excited she invited me, since I thought she didn't like me. I ended up hanging her Christmas lights in a snowstorm while they had s'mores by the fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 30357 You deserved it 4171 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Marc - Hong Kong - Tsuen Wan Today, it's been almost 2 months since I moved into my new place, and it's the first time a girl has slept in my bed. I also slept on my new couch for the first time. FML I agree, your life sucks 29964 You deserved it 4298 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - France Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML I agree, your life sucks 38092 You deserved it 5490 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML I agree, your life sucks 27175 You deserved it 3427 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PookaKay02 - United States Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML I agree, your life sucks 29934 You deserved it 8580 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Trama1201 - United States - Boston My short hair! Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 1686 You deserved it 299 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VanillaBeanGhost | 15 #6669882 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:26 That is some expensive lube your friend would be using, instead of just buying actually lube! Send a private message 101 3 Reply
By BREADFAN | 5 #6669880 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:25 Well, what did you say? Send a private message 74 1 Reply
By BREADFAN | 5 #6669880 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:25 Well, what did you say? Send a private message 74 1 Reply
Reply b5b0n36 | 27 #6669885 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:28 I didn't say anything kinda just stared at him with a look that said "you're an idiot" he then awkwardly walked off Send a private message 37 0 Reply
By Kinglue | 17 #6669881 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:25 Tell him to try a rim job first Send a private message 34 2 Reply
Reply BabooonLove | 16 #6676005 - Monday 22 August 2016 5:04 You should make subtle differences to each of your profile pictures so we can play spot the difference! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By VanillaBeanGhost | 15 #6669882 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:26 That is some expensive lube your friend would be using, instead of just buying actually lube! Send a private message 101 3 Reply
By species4872 | 19 #6669889 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:34 Only if you feel like they've done a lot of mileage. 13 0 Reply
Reply simplysarcastics | 25 #6673329 - Wednesday 17 August 2016 15:50 "Yeah let's go ahead and add some oil, your mileage is pretty high girl. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By everythingelena | 28 #6669890 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:35 ....am I the only one wondering how OP responded to the question? Send a private message 3 14 Reply
Reply JZY1989 | 23 #6669914 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:53 I'm curious myself. Send a private message 1 4 Reply
Reply _EnderDoge | 22 #6669943 - Friday 12 August 2016 8:43 #6 check #1's replies Send a private message 10 0 Reply
By Tripartita | 44 #6669895 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:41 Hey, whatever gets your motor going is fine by me. Send a private message 28 1 Reply
By username635 | 16 #6669901 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:45 Well...can it? Send a private message 0 3 Reply
By turtle_darkness | 17 #6669906 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:48 Rednecks, rednecks everywhere. Send a private message 0 9 Reply
By LyricaSilvan | 29 #6669909 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:48 If you want to risk getting toxic chemicals inside your body or someone else's, sure. Seriously though. Get on that new friend thing. Perhaps some that are a bit smarter. Send a private message 19 0 Reply
Reply b5b0n36 | 27 #6669916 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:54 already on it bucko! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By zinnish | 11 #6669920 - Friday 12 August 2016 7:57 I hope you told them yes. Send a private message 3 0 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 578 You deserved it 171 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 991 You deserved it 160 11 Comments